Personal Growth Cafe – Page 209 – Empowering You to Live Your Inspired Vision!

June 25, 2012July 3, 2012

Virtues of Living Simply

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by your life that you wish you could just chuck it all and live a simpler existence?

What’s fascinating is there are so many ways you can alter your life to make it easier for you and your family to enjoy everything that life has to offer. Living simply encompasses many positive qualities.

Whether you quit your job as an accountant and buy your own little bed and breakfast inn or move closer to the office, sell your car and walk to work, the possibilities are endless in terms of how you can live a simpler life.

Here are some ways that living simply can benefit you:

1. You’ll save money. When you restructure your life to live more simply, it usually involves spending less money. The impact of saving money is great if you’ve got children who’ll be going to college. Also, the money you don’t spend due to living simply can be banked for your own retirement.

2. You’ll spend more quality time at home. When you make an effort to simplify, you clear away the chaff. Eliminate activities from your schedule that don’t benefit you. Your spare time increases when you live a simpler life.

3. The things you truly enjoy will be at your fingertips. There are certain items you love and others you can clearly do without. Get rid of the items you no longer have a use for.

• For example, maybe you love your iPad, books, and drawing utensils, but you no longer need your fishing poles, the trampoline, and a closet full of outdated files.

• Living simply gives you quick and easy access to the things you love without having the clutter and mental baggage around you of the things that no longer benefit you. Plus, it will leave more space for the items and activities that bring you pleasure.

4. Your surroundings will be more comfortable. As you adapt a minimalist lifestyle, you’ll find yourself rearranging your home exactly the way you’ve always wanted. You’ll focus on comfort. A good reading light, a cushion behind your back, and a long afternoon to spend in your beloved home may be exactly what you seek to feel the comfort you’ve been lacking.

5. You’ll experience more serenity in your life. After all, when you have fewer personal belongings, there’s less to worry about, clean, and take care of. Tranquility is the end result.

6. Your children will grow up to be less focused on material goods. When you live minimally and raise your children in the same ways, they’ll learn about living a simpler lifestyle. You’ll introduce them to an easier, less frivolous way to live, grow, and prosper.

7. It’s less important to follow the crowd or keep up with the Joneses. As you disconnect from the hustle and bustle of going through the motions just because others do, you’ll eventually arrive at what’s actually the main elements of life for you and your family.

8. Your health will likely improve. If you simplify by buying more locally grown produce and fewer processed foods, your family’s health will improve. More fruits and vegetables and fewer canned and boxed items will reduce unwanted sodium and chemicals in your nutritional diet.

• Remember, there’ll be more time for exercise when you step away from the rat race a well.

9. Your life will revolve around your priorities. What’s important to you? When you simplify, you’ll surround yourself with things that matter to you and participate in activities that have meaning to you.

The virtues of living simply are countless. Depending on how you decide to simplify, you’ll begin to experience more joy and serenity.

Cutting out the extra junk in your life will pave the way for you to live exactly the way you want, with a life that’s brimming with activities and things you love. Discover the deeper meaning and purpose of a life lived simply.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Strengthening Your Persistence for Greater Success

One of the greatest character traits you can have is persistence. According to the Wordbook Dictionary, “persistence” is determination, tenacity and “the act of persevering; continuing or repeating a behavior.” Being persistent means you’ll keep trying until you accomplish a goal or get something right.

Reflect back on times when you were persistent. What did you do? How long and how often did you repeat the behavior you needed for success? Did you get the results you wanted? What did you learn from the experience?

One key to experiencing positive results from your persistence is to know when you must be persistent. Once you have a feel for determining when being persistent is most likely to help you get what you desire, you can practice strategies that help you develop greater persistence. As with many other activities, the more you practice the better you get!

Try these techniques to develop more persistence for greater success in your endeavors:

1. Accept that anyone can be persistent. If you’ve ever doubted you could hang in during a difficult situation until your goal is met, doubt no more. Everyone is capable of exhibiting perseverance.

2. Ask yourself, “How important is this issue?” Because being persistent requires quite a bit of mental energy – and in some cases, physical energy as well – you want to be sure that the issue or situation is important enough to you to put in the effort.

3. Be very clear about your goal. Know what you want. What do you hope to accomplish? Your focus on the desired end product or goal will propel you forward.

4. Faith is the fuel. Although being persistent doesn’t require any particular talent or skill, it does take some faith to keep you going. It’s important to truly believe that what you’re working toward will work out eventually. If you believe, you will persist.

5. Try different angles. If one approach doesn’t work, try another. Then repeat an approach you tried earlier but adjust it. Sometimes, persistence involves a certain amount of experimentation before you achieve your goal.

6. It’s okay to change what you want and tweak your goals. If you find that your situation has changed or the goal is no longer integral to your life, change directions with confidence. Create a new plan that will get you to your new goal.

7. Avoid giving up unless your goal changes or the importance of the issue has waned.

8. Be inspired by someone who persisted and succeeded. Stories of persistence leading to success are everywhere to inspire you. Writers, athletes, musicians, and people from other walks of life have their inspiring stories of persistence to tell.

• J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, claims to have submitted her first Potter novel to many publishers who rejected the manuscript numerous times before it was finally accepted for printing. Throughout those months of waiting, Rowling just kept writing about Harry and his crew. She persisted.

• Consider Michael Jordan, proclaimed as the best basketball player ever by many all over the world. Jordan says he didn’t make the varsity basketball team in his high school when he was a sophomore. And that fact only made him more determined. He was persistent and eventually achieved every goal imaginable in his field.

• Find your own hero who persisted and rose above the fray. Seek your own inspiration to compel you to be persistent.

Know the importance of the situation as well as your goal. Have faith, experiment, and adjust your goals if need be. Don’t give up unless it’s time. Finally, find your own hero who persisted and eventually achieved great things.

Being persistent is simple, yet requires courageous effort. The best part is… anyone can do it!

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Re-Claim Your Life by Living Consciously

Do you sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions? You get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch television, and go to bed. The next day, the routine starts all over again.

But what if you could become more connected with your own experiences? You’d enjoy life more, feel happier and more content, and have more control over your life. By living consciously, you can get back your life!

Make a decision now to live more consciously.

What Does it Mean to Live Consciously?

Living consciously involves re-gaining control over your life. Rather than doing something automatically and with no real thought, you’ll ponder what you want to do and how you want to go about it.

Living consciously means you get to see the people you wish to see and take part in the activities you prefer. When you live consciously, you consider what you want to eat and how you want to spend your hour of free time. You discover true freedom of choice.

Living Consciously in Everyday Life

You can see how living consciously ensures you’ll have a more fulfilling life. When you check back in to your own psyche, you’re in the driver’s seat. Sure, you still must arise in the morning, attend work, return home, and dine, but you give yourself more options to choose from in how you go about it.

When you live consciously, you can vary your daily routines or put in something that makes them a little more interesting:

• Maybe you can get up 15 minutes earlier a few times a week to do that exercise DVD you’ve been wanting to get to.

• Tired of eating cold cereal every day? Mix up your routine by having a piece of fresh fruit and some hot oatmeal or something else you’d like.

• Refresh your evenings by taking a walk after dinner, having a rousing conversation with your partner about something funny from the day, or playing with your kids or pets.

Work

When you get to work, talk to the boss about that project you’ve really wanted to do. You’ll re-kindle your interests and experience the satisfaction that comes with consciously working on projects you desire to do.

As you do your routine tasks, concentrate on what you’re doing. Are you doing your best? Have you considered more effective, efficient methods for the tasks or projects at your job? The more you notice what you’re doing, the more you can strive to excel at the job.

Living consciously at work can win you promotions.

Free Time

In the evening at home, ponder what you truly want to do. Maybe you want to hang out with the guys in your neighbor’s garage for an hour. Or you really want to take up beading jewelry again.

Thinking consciously enables you to discover that you have the control in your life to do whatever it is that brings you joy, pleasure, and contentment.

Putting It All Together

To live consciously is to cease wasting time doing activities you’re not really interested in. When you make a personal vow to live consciously, you’re opening the door to a new, more joyous existence.

• What do you truly seek?
• With whom do you choose to spend time?
• How can you spend leisure time in ways that re-charge you and bring special joy?
• How can you become more psychologically engaged in your work to increase your performance?
• Are you taking care of your physical self the way you want and obtaining the results you desire?

Your answers to these questions will lead you down the path of conscious living.

Go ahead and take the first step in your journey toward reclaiming your life today. Say to yourself: “I will live consciously every moment of this day.” Repeat it tomorrow and the day after and embrace the joys of creating the life you desire.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Managing Transitions in Life

The one thing you can be sure of in life is that there will be times when you’re thrown a curve ball. Something will happen that you aren’t expecting.

Even though you know you’ve got the strength to handle anything that life brings you, you might still be taken aback by an unexpected change in your life direction.

These suggestions will help you successfully handle some of life’s transitional times:

1. Take a deep breath. Pause for a moment and give yourself time to just breathe.

2. Process the information. Next, allow yourself some time to think through what’s happened. This might take a few days, depending on your situation. From your perspective, what occurred?

3. Talk about it. Call a close friend or family member you trust and tell them about what’s going on in your life. It helps to hear yourself think aloud whenever you’re faced with an enduring challenge.

4. Consider your options. Although you might not be completely ready to move on yet, try to ponder fully your situation and where you could go from here. Be open-minded about resolving the current issues in the short-term.

• If your situation involves an ending of a relationship, for example, maybe you’ll have to find another place to live quickly. Could you move in with a friend or family member, at least for now? Ask yourself what your possibilities are at the present time.

5. Take time to adjust. You might feel you have to make decisions fairly quickly to get moving forward, but still, it’s wise to allow yourself necessary moments to adjust to what’s happening.

6. Tell yourself that you’ll make it through. After the initial shock wears off, you’ll hopefully reach the point of realizing that “this too shall pass.” Thinking positively is the best way to approach any type of challenging situation. Remind yourself that you have the savvy and fortitude to find your way from this day forward.

7. Begin to formulate a plan. After considerable thinking, you’ll be relieved to see parts of a new plan for your life falling in to place.

8. Recognize your own strengths. Remember back to a time you struggled through a crisis and emerged better than ever. Maybe you had to drop out of college because there wasn’t enough money. You still made it through and were able to return to finish your studies within 2 years. Realize your strength to help you make it through the current situation.

9. Look at the recent change as an opportunity. Even though it might take some effort, allow yourself to see you’re being given a chance to change your life. You’re in a position to improve something about your existence.

• Let your imagination run free. Regard the coming episode of your life as a new adventure and embrace it.

10. Move forward with a sense of purpose. Now that you have the bare bones of a plan, you can proceed ahead with your new life with greater confidence. As time goes by, you’ll grow even surer of the direction you’re heading. Let yourself feel excited about your new goals.

Regardless of what life brings your way, you’ll still keep going. Allow yourself time to breathe and take in the information. Perhaps even talk to someone and ponder your choices.

You have what it takes to successfully manage any transition in life that appears before you. Openly accept this opportunity to let go of the old and embrace the new.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Love Your Home: Creating Your Own Paradise

Do you have fantasies about where you’d like to live someday? Maybe it’s a beautiful little seaside town in the south of France or a log home in the mountains of Denver. Fortunately, you can have a bit of your dream right now, where you live today, without uprooting your life!

Although it’s important to strive toward making your dreams a reality, you’ll live a happier existence in the meantime if you work to create your own paradise wherever you live.

Try some of these tips to ensure you’re living your best life in the here-and-now:

1. Accept where you’re living. Whether you’re in a one-bedroom apartment or your great aunt’s condo downtown, for now, you’re calling it home. This is your own bit of paradise for today. Tell yourself that you’re okay living where you live because it’s simply a stepping stone that will lead you to the place you want to eventually be.

2. Set the mood. Do you wish to lift your spirits and energy level when you walk in the door? If so, decorate with brighter colored textiles in furniture, upholstery, and curtains. Have splashes of vivid art on the walls.

• If you prefer to set a calm and tranquil tone in your own little heaven, use calmer colors like sage greens, beige, and mocha to present a more serene picture when you enter the room.

• No matter where you live, you can set the mood you want most by painting your walls and using evocative colors.

3. Consider options for your comfort. Do you want different furniture pieces to make your space fit you better or be more comfortable? Maybe you need a more efficient desk to sit at when you’re working at home. Perhaps different lighting fixtures would help.

• The key to creating your sanctuary is to set up each room exactly how you want it. This can be done on a budget, too. You don’t have to invest a fortune to create the look and feel that you desire. Consignment shops and thrift stores can be great sources for inexpensive items for your new look.

4. Learn to love the home you have. Find specific aspects of your space that bring you joy and contentment. Maybe it’s the way the sun streams in the east window of the kitchen in the mornings. Or perhaps you enjoy the open layout between the kitchen, dining, and living room areas. Notice and take full advantage of what you do like about your home.

5. Check out design websites, apps, and books for décor ideas. Look for inspiration such as furniture arrangement, carefully placed treasures, wall colors, and use of textiles to obtain the look and feel you want. Recognize that regardless of the size and location of your home, there are countless ways to alter it to suit your tastes and introduce the qualities you want.

Show some love to yourself and your home by creating a sanctuary right where you live now. With just a few simple changes and a fresh perspective, you can have your own paradise no matter where you live!

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

It’s Okay to Cry

You might remember back when you were a kid how your mom always told you to stop crying. You’ve probably heard a parent at some time in your life tell his kids, “Stop that crying, it doesn’t do any good” or “Stop crying or else I’ll give you something to cry about!”

Seriously, if a child is crying, it’s a clue he’s already got something to cry about. Depending on the era you grew up, your parents might have handled kids crying in some pretty creative ways. Frankly, crying is really no big deal. In fact, many experts believe crying has some usefulness to our lives.

Did you know that crying has a scientific name? It’s called “lacrimation.” Most people haven’t heard it. Even so, every person on earth has shed tears at some time in his life. Crying is one experience that every human being has shared.

Why People Cry

Crying really doesn’t hurt or damage a situation or people. Crying is a healthy expression of emotions. Particularly for children, experiencing feelings you don’t understand can be pretty confusing. And those feelings of confusion and frustration can quite easily be expressed by crying.

Some people cry when they’re sad or melancholy. Others cry when they’re frustrated or angry. Still, there are those who cry when they’re afraid. Whatever the reason, emotionally healthy people do feel the need to cry occasionally.

Do You Allow Yourself to Cry?

If you’ve ever experienced feeling like you want to cry yet holding in your tears, you know how uncomfortable it can be. What were you experiencing at those times? It practically makes a person feel physically ill to withhold crying even though the emotions and body are sending signals that it’s time to cry.

Interestingly, contrary to what many people think, when a person cries, it tends to last for just a few short minutes. Once the initial troubling feelings are expressed, they’re released.

The act of crying has a calming effect on the body as one’s breathing often slows down. After shedding tears, you’re then free to go on with your day.

Crying and the Grief Process

It’s natural to experience sad and lonely feelings related to a loss of someone or something important. During grieving, you might cry periodically over a few days, weeks, or months. Between crying episodes, you might feel fine. However, the grief eventually returns.

Grief has a way of washing over you in waves. But then, minutes later, you’re feeling better. When grieving, sometimes a good cry is all you need to release troubling emotions for the moment. Over time, you’ll feel less and less like crying.

Research on Crying

Recent research reported on the Science Daily website indicates that two-thirds of people studied reported feeling a boost in their moods after crying. The study also deduced that people who have diagnosed mental health conditions of anxiety or other mood disorders might not feel better after crying. In summary, healthy people who cry feel better when they’re finished crying.

Consider crying a normal part of life that will occasionally happen. Let go of your fears regarding crying. However, in the event you or a person you know is crying practically daily for several hours each day or not feeling any better after a “good cry,” it’s probably time to check with your doctor to ensure you nip in the bud any conditions requiring attention.

Go ahead and let yourself cry if you feel like it – you’ll feel calmer afterward and be ready to confront your day with a renewed passion and motivation.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

How to Manage Controlling Behaviors in Early Dating Relationships

Whenever you meet someone new and start dating, it can be exciting and a little nerve-wracking. You recognize you like the person and want things to go well. However, perhaps you’ve noticed there are times when the person shows some controlling behaviors toward you.

To avoid falling into the trap of becoming accustomed to someone who’s increasingly dominant, use these methods to manage a partner’s controlling behaviors early on in dating relationships:

1. Be open, honest, and clear about your own feelings from Day 1. Decline to take part in activities you prefer to avoid. Tell the truth about what you like and don’t like, even if you aren’t directly asked.

2. State what you’d like to do on a date. Pick the restaurant. Say if you don’t eat a particular kind of food. Consider your feelings and preferences as important as your partner’s.

3. Set clear boundaries. From the start, establish comfortable boundaries. For example, if the person just pops over to your house without calling, it’s appropriate to state, “I’m not comfortable with you coming to my house unannounced. Let’s agree to make plans in advance so we both know what’s going on and can schedule dates accordingly.”

4. Avoid going along with everything just so you won’t rock the boat. If you’re uncomfortable about something, speak up. Part of getting acquainted with someone new is honestly revealing your wishes and needs.

5. If you were less than pleased with the way your new friend behaved in public, remind yourself you’re entitled to your feelings. Think through the situation when you’re alone later and decide what you want to do about the public behavior. Do you want to talk to them about it? Or is their misbehavior a deal-breaker for you?

• Here’s an example: when you met with some of your work friends together, he openly insisted that you not sit beside a male co-worker whom you’ve been friends with for years. He was so insistent that, just to get him to stop his comments, you quickly switched seats.

• When this type of occurrence takes place, the question is “wouldn’t you rather discuss your feelings about his behavior right away so he understands how you feel and can adjust his actions in the future?”

6. Address challenging issues swiftly and tactfully. This way, there’s no question in your new friend’s mind about what you do and do not feel comfortable with.

• If they get angry with your honest expression, that will be your cue to say, “I’m sorry you’re upset but this issue is important to me.” If your new friend cannot accept your feelings about the situation, ponder whether it’s wise to go any further in the relationship.

7. Remind yourself neither person should possess all the power in the relationship. You’re both entitled to your feelings. However, if either of you seem to “rule” the relationship, it’s time to re-consider how you relate to each other. Healthy relationships exhibit a healthy balance of power.

8. If you feel extreme discomfort or fear because of your new friend’s behavior, recognize this may not be a relationship you want to continue. Under no condition should you push away feelings of fear that are well-grounded.

• If someone is even mildly or verbally threatening toward you when you date them, take careful, safe steps to separate yourself from the person.

You can successfully manage controlling behaviors of a new friend in a developing relationship by practicing the above strategies. Many times, your openness and capacity to genuinely express your wants and feelings will quell the other person’s efforts to take complete control.

Trust yourself to address any challenging situations right away to have a healthy, caring, and enjoyable relationship.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Get Hoarding Tendencies Under Control

Reality TV shows have focused new attention on the issue of hoarding. Maybe you’re buried alive or maybe you just need to empty out that hall closet. Learn what psychiatrists now know about hoarding along with techniques to manage mild tendencies or intervene in more severe cases.

Understanding the Facts About Hoarding

1. Recognize hoarding as a mental health issue. The psychiatric criteria for compulsive hoarding are still being developed, but some facts are clear. The symptoms include a strong urge to acquire items and trouble with discarding them that interferes with daily life.

• Those who struggle with this dilemma may suffer from depression or attention deficit disorders, but sometimes they have no known history of mental illness.

2. Identify the underlying causes. Certain personality traits are characteristic of hoarding. You may be indecisive and try to avoid making mistakes by holding onto everything just in case. You may also be prone to procrastinating and have difficulty getting organized.

3. Know the risk factors. Anyone can become a hoarder but older women who are socially isolated are most at risk. Keep this in mind if you think you need to change your own life circumstances or if you’re caring for an aging parent or other relative.

4. Put yourself to the test. Compulsive hoarders may need professional intervention but there are also tests that can help you make an initial assessment. Search online for the Hoarding Rating Scale Interview. It has 5 simple questions with replies ranked from “no problem” to “extreme.”

Coping With Mild Hoarding Tendencies

1. Organize your valuables. Organization is a key distinction between being a collector and being a hoarder. Create an attractive display for your prized books or antique dolls so you can feel good about them and enjoy sharing them with others.

2. Stick to your budget. Buy only what you can afford. Look for bargains or save up in advance for major new purchases.

3. De-acquisition as needed. Every librarian or museum director appreciates the value of de-selection guidelines. Make your best stuff appear more attractive and accessible by getting rid of items in poor condition or objects of lesser quality.

Interventions for More Severe Hoarding

1. Contact the appropriate authorities for health and safety threats. Animal hoarding, fire hazards or nonworking utilities can pose urgent dangers. Call the board of health or animal control immediately for such emergencies.

2. Arrange for a professional evaluation. Talk with your family doctor or consider engaging a geriatric care manager. These professionals provide expert assistance to the elderly and their families to help them locate appropriate services and maximize the independence of elders. Most offer a free initial telephone consultation.

3. Find local therapists and resources. Seeing a therapist is an individual decision, but you can present options if you’re trying to help a loved one. Many patients improve thorough targeted behavioral therapies and home visits.

• Clutters Anonymous is a self help group with a 12 step program like Alcoholics Anonymous.

4. Enlist support. Caregivers and their loved ones benefit from building alliances. Ask your local council on aging about relevant programs in your community. Look into professional services like house cleaning agencies and storage centers. Ask friends and family to pitch in with removal tasks and providing more opportunities for socializing.

5. Remain compassionate and sensitive. Be respectful and nonjudgmental to avoid exacerbating any feelings of shame. Offer sincere praise as progress is made. It’s usually easiest to start out by focusing on tasks like sorting rather than throwing things away. Ask for permission before touching anything.

Those TV shows may be helping compulsive hoarders to get the assistance they need. Still, the solution usually extends much deeper than just tidying up the house. Recognize the warning signs for hoarding so you and the people you care about can restore order in your emotional lives and in your homes.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Making the Most of a Career Fair

Career fairs add a personal touch to a job hunt that often takes place mostly online these days. Use these techniques before and during a career fair to help you make a better impression.

Before a Career Fair

1. Clarify your purpose. Know what you want to achieve. You may be looking to line up interviews with specific companies as soon as possible. On the other hand, you may be at a stage where you just want to learn more about organizations that interest you.

2. Research each fair. Visit the website for every job fair you attend. Get familiar with the sponsor and the employers who are expected to attend. Do more extensive research on the companies that look like the best match for you.

3. Polish up your resume. Proofread your resume and bring along multiple copies on high quality stationery. If you’re considering jobs in more than one field, make different versions emphasizing your most relevant qualifications.

4. Print business cards. Simple business cards are inexpensive to print, especially if you get a template that lets you do it yourself. Hand out your card to representatives who have a policy against accepting full resumes at the event.

5. Rehearse your opening lines. Expect to make a brief introductory speech at each booth you visit. Practice stating your name, summarizing your background (including a couple of top accomplishments), and describing the position you want. Keep at it until you can do this in fewer than two or three minutes and sound natural doing it.

6. Recruit a friend. Attending these events solo is fine but you may also benefit from the support of a friend. Touch base at strategic intervals to encourage each other and share feedback.

7. Dress to impress. Business casual is usually the way to go. Good grooming, simple accessories, and dress pants and shirts are a safe choice. Ensure your shoes are comfortable enough for hours of walking, and give them a quick shine on your way out the door to the event.

8. Volunteer your services. Volunteering is a great way to get inside information and make personal contacts. Call the organizers in advance to see if they can use your services.

During a Career Fair

1. Get there early. By arriving early, you catch the recruiters while they’re still fresh. They’re also more likely to remember you during the relatively quiet first hours than after the crowds build up.

2. Focus on your top prospects. Make a list of companies you think you must see. Budget your time so that you can talk with all your best leads.

3. Give yourself plenty of time. Schedule more time than you think you need. You’ll be able to take advantage of any additional opportunities and you can always go home early if you finish ahead of time.

4. Be friendly. Remember to smile, shake hands, let people know you’re glad to meet them, and that you’re enthusiastic about their organizations. Employers evaluate your personal qualities as well as your skills and experience.

5. Take it easy on the give-away items. All those free key chains and water bottles may look tempting. To maintain a professional appearance, limit yourself to what you can carry inconspicuously in your briefcase or tote bag.

6. Be prepared to follow up. Get the name of everyone you speak with and clarify the next step in the process. Send a prompt and personalized thank you message to express your appreciation and keep the communications going.

A career fair is a valuable opportunity to network and introduce yourself to employers. Keep using the usual online tools but add these events to the mix to make your job search as rewarding as possible.

June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Learn to Succeed With Your New Boss

Whether your boss is new to you because of a new job or because he’s the new manager at your current work, it’s important to get off to a good start.

If you make a good first impression and forge a productive working relationship, you could deepen your job satisfaction and advance your career.

Try these strategies to succeed with a new boss and troubleshoot in difficult situations.

General Guidelines for Succeeding With a New Boss

1. Meet regularly. Schedule an introductory meeting as early as possible and check in on an ongoing basis. You may need formal sessions or just a few minutes to touch base as time goes on.

2. Clarify expectations. Prevent missteps by finding out what your supervisor regards as top priorities. Discuss the level of involvement they feel comfortable with and what forms of communication will serve you best, whether it’s texting or talking face to face.

3. Negotiate for resources. Advocate for what you need to get your job done. That may include additional personnel, funds and continuing education opportunities.

4. Deliver results on projects your boss cares about. Prove you’re a valuable team member by racking up accomplishments that matter to your new superior. Get that supply closet organized or close some sales.

5. Offer assistance. Let your boss take the lead but try to anticipate their needs. You have valuable experience and insider information to contribute that could be critical to meeting your mutual goals.

6. Display enthusiasm. Go the extra mile to exceed expectations. Maintaining a positive attitude can reduce stress during challenging transitions.

7. Put yourself in their shoes. Your boss is breaking new ground too. Give them time to adjust and get used to a new organization and colleagues.

Troubleshooting For Difficult Situations

1. Resist the urge to make comparisons. Keep an open mind to different approaches than your previous supervisor used. This could be a chance to abandon routines that were always problematic.

2. Be judicious about disclosing personal information. Allow rapport to develop gradually and naturally. Stick to business and small talk until you get to know each other better. If you eventually become personal friends who can relate on a deeper level, that’s a nice bonus.

3. Prepare for your annual evaluation. Try meeting at least six months in advance to make any mid course corrections. It will help you to avoid unpleasant surprises and your boss will probably appreciate your commitment.

4. Anticipate cutbacks if your company is in a turnaround scenario. Sometimes new leadership arrives with a mandate to reduce the workforce. Accept the inevitable and make the best of shouldering additional responsibilities or negotiating a favorable severance package.

5. Know your limitations. Figure out what changes you can live with and what changes would be detrimental to your wellbeing. You can probably get used to a new brand of coffee. On the other hand, you may need to draw the line at requests like mandatory overtime, taking work home to complete, or other requests.

6. Consider a new position, if necessary. If the situation is untenable despite your best efforts, you may need to see if you can transfer to another department or launch a full-fledged job search.

• Discreetly explore other openings while taking care of your responsibilities and preparing for an amicable departure. Your search may be lengthy, so be gentle with yourself and welcome support from loved ones or spiritual practices that can help you to sustain your spirits.

You have a lot at stake when you acquire a new boss. It’s natural to feel a little apprehensive, but taking the initiative to clarify expectations and maintain open communications can help you both come out ahead.