Family – Page 4 – Personal Growth Cafe

April 13, 2018January 7, 2018

My family is my rock.

My family inspires me to be my best.

I want to be an inspiration to the loved ones around me.

My goal is to be a role model for generations yet to come.

I believe that little eyes are watching and imitating everything I do.

I feel a strong responsibility to leave a legacy of hard work and success for all to model.

I am passionate about my family and I devote time to them every day.

Members of my family know how deeply I feel because I tell them constantly how much they mean to me.

I call and email my relatives on a regular basis.

I am grateful for their love and support and my family knows that they, too, can count on me.

My family is the strong foundation upon which all other success is built.

My co-workers know that, while I am devoted to my work, nothing takes the place of my family.

I make sacrifices for my family because they are worth it!

The strength I receive from my loved ones can withstand any storm.

Whenever the waters of adversity rise against me, I know I can count on my family to be a beacon of hope and peace.

Their unconditional love is mine during times of success and hardships.

During times of trials, I recall memories of days spent with my family in order to find inner peace.

A day at the park.

A smile.

A soft, giggly voice.

Dancing in the rain.

A warm hug.

A sweet kiss.

Those are the memories that keep me grounded.

Today, I am making new memories with my family to strengthen our unbreakable bond.

How do you show your family that you appreciate them?

What are some of your fondest family memories?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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March 5, 2018January 5, 2018

Coping with Anger from a Loved One

Coping with anger from anyone can be tough.

However, when anger is coming from someone dear to you, it can be especially difficult to deal with.

If someone you love is showing anger now, or continues to show anger on a frequent basis, you must resist the urge to fight fire with fire.

Fighting back will only make the situation explode and you and your loved one will find it increasingly difficult to come to a resolution.

Keep the following tips in mind as you deal with anger from someone you love:

1. Avoid reacting immediately. You shouldn’t let yourself explode with a burst of emotion.

Anger can get heated quickly and you don’t want to respond rashly, whether it’s with anger, sadness, or resentment.

2. Allow yourself time to cool down so you can approach the situation calmly and rationally.

3. Refuse to take things personally. There’s no doubt about it, this is hard to do when a loved one is hurling mud your way.

It’s easier to avoid taking it personally from colleagues and strangers, but for those close to you, it’s hard not to take their opinions personally.

Talk to your loved one about what they said.

Explain how you see their actions as personal attacks.

If they didn’t intend it as one, they’ll have a chance to explain themselves.

If they did mean to personally attack you, it’s important to work out the issue.

What can you do to improve the situation so these outbursts won’t happen again?

4. Admit the problem. It’s also important for your loved one to admit that they have a problem with anger if it’s recurring.

They may say they have control over it, but it’s only a matter of time before it flares up again and causes deeper wounds.

5. Help them cool down. Whether the anger is directed toward you or another person, step in and help them cool down before they lose control and let anger take over.

While you may like them to develop these skills independently as they practice on their own, they may need your assistance in the beginning.

You can help them reflect on their thoughts and feelings before they act.

6. Identify feelings. People don’t just immediately burst out in anger without a flood of emotions first.

Help your loved one identify their triggers so they can put a halt on anger before it starts.

7. Teach healthy anger expressions. Anger is a part of life. However, it’s how we react and deal with anger that’s important.

Here are some healthy ways they can express and cope with anger:

Write in a journal.
Exercise – go for a jog or run when anger arises.
Count to 10 and take several deep breaths before reacting.
Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation.
Express anger through art.
Focus on the good of a situation.

It’s important to discover a coping mechanism that works for your loved one.

At the same time, you shouldn’t get lost in your loved one’s struggle with anger.

You can go over some of the healthy anger expression techniques and implement them yourself as well.

By becoming a model for your loved one, it just may be what they need to change.

But if their anger turns violent, remove yourself from the situation immediately and seek professional help.

By helping your loved one learn and grow, you just may be able to strengthen your relationship and developer a lasting bond.

How can you continue to show unconditional love to those who matter to you despite the things that they do?

How can anger hinder us from forgiving freely?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 11, 2018January 5, 2018

My family will benefit from my positive transformation.

As I grow and better myself I become a better spouse and parent.

As I look out my window I can see the beautiful oak tree with its branches stretched wide and strong.

Although I cannot see the roots, I know that they run deep into the ground to anchor it securely and sustain its growth.

Looking closely, I see a family of squirrels that have nested in a crook of the tree; they are offered shelter and security.

The birds are given a roost and the tree offers cooling shade to anyone who is near.

I am like this oak tree; as I grow in spirit I have more to offer to my family.

As I transform my spirit and continue to grow, I become strong and my foundation is able to sustain whatever comes my way.

I am a more attentive spouse and a gentler parent.

In nourishing and sustaining myself I continue to better my own life and therefore I bring more benefits to my family.

I am strong and my spirit stretches wide and can offer strength and shelter.

A gentle and encouraging word, a smile to warm the heart and arms to wrap around those I love are things I have within me to offer.

Today, I can ensure my betterment through nourishing my body and allowing my spirit to grow.

I am a better spouse and parent because I continue to grow and transform myself.

Everyone around me benefits from the positive energy I emit as I continue to grow and transform into a more enlightened being.

How have you created a strong foundation to support your transformation?

How have you become a place of shelter and rest for your family?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 6, 2018January 5, 2018

I can rescue myself from the quicksand of stagnation with the support of my family.

There is little that I cannot do with the support of my family.

My family gives me the support and strength I need to rescue myself from standing still or spiraling downward.

The support of my family helps me to continue to grow, even when it gets difficult.

I am a strong person who is strengthened by my family.

It shows great humility to be able to accept the love and support of my family.

I can pull myself up from the sticky mire of life because I have an awesome family that gives me support and encouragement.

I feel strong and supported, validated and vindicated by my family.

We have gone through life together and no one knows me like my family knows me.

No one accepts me like my family accepts me.

No one loves me like my family loves me. No one supports me like my family supports me.

Today, and every day, I appreciate the love and support that my family offers me.

I appreciate my ability to pull myself up in life because of the support from my family.

Today I will let my family know how much I appreciate them.

How have you been strengthened by your family’s support?

How has the support of your family allowed you to rescue yourself?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 16, 2018January 5, 2018

Family time is my treasure.

January 16, 2018January 5, 2018

Regain Important Family Time by Leaving Work at the Office

On days when your spouse comes home from work irritable and grumpy from a bad day, try telling them jokingly, “Go back and come in again.”

In our high-stress society, sometimes it’s hard to keep work and home separate.

Work worries follow us home so we’re never really free of them.

Even though work is such an intertwined part of life for everyone, it’s essential to leave your work problems at work so your home can be your sanctuary.

Here are some effective tips to help you leave those work issues back at the office so you can enjoy your time at home:

1. Schedule your day.

Plan ahead for how long you’re going to be at work.

When you’re “closed” be closed, even if it means ignoring the phone or emails.

The world won’t stop spinning if you sit down to dinner with your family and let the machine get the phone.

You know that you’ll pick things up the next day, so accept that the work can wait until you get back. Train yourself for this.

If you have to initially schedule family time or alone time, do it.

You’ll soon begin to enjoy the rewards of scheduled time off.

Turn off your cell phone, blackberry, or beeper when you walk in the door.

Your messages will still be there in the morning when you start your workday again.

This idea might prove a little tricky for stay at home moms, but learn how to set boundaries for your children.

After you put them to bed, tell them Mommy hours are over, and it’s time for you to relax.

Most children respect these parameters, and other people who need you will learn to respect your boundaries as well.

2. Change your clothes.

Work attire has certain standards and, when you change into comfortable clothing at home, you give yourself a chance to relax.

Whether you wear a uniform or business wear, changing your clothes is a mental indicator that work time is up.

Keep a cozy pair of slippers by the door so you can get comfortable immediately after you come into the door.

3. Give yourself time to de-stress.

You can just sit in the chair, read a good book, or fix a drink.

Whatever your method is to de-stress, make sure you’ve spelled out ahead of time that you aren’t to be interrupted until you’re ready.

If you know you don’t want to be pummeled by your kids the moment you walk in the door, arrange with your spouse or kids to allow a few minutes to de-stress.

Use your commuting time to de-stress, especially if you use public transit.

Listening to your iPod or just daydreaming out the window can make a world of difference in your mood once you get home.

Don’t stay in de-stress mode, however, for the entire evening!

Still take part with the family once you’ve cleared your mind for a bit.

4. Separate your work area.

As more and more people begin working from home, it’s harder to separate the two lives.

In order to help you distance yourself from work once work hours are over, keep your work area physically separate from your family area.

Establish your work area in a dedicated workroom, or separate your work area with a wall or a room divider so you’re not pulled back to your work area when you’re interacting with your family.

If you work with a laptop, don’t be tempted to bring your work into your family space.

It’s too easy to get distracted by work when your family needs you at the end of the day.

You’ll find so much peace of mind once you realize that you’re in control of your schedule!

Don’t let the boss run your world outside of work.

You’ll be happier, healthier and more productive when you take time for yourself and your family.

Treat yourself with the respect you deserve!

How can you carve out more time to spend with your family?

What can you do today to show your family that you appreciate them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 5, 2018January 5, 2018

How to Show Love and Communicate With Loved Ones

It can be difficult to show people how much they mean to you.

Many of us go through life with strong feelings about the people in our lives but we never express those emotions clearly.

Yet, having meaningful relationships actually requires that we know how to show our love and affection.

Learning How to Communicate With Your Partner

Showing your emotions can be easier when you give yourself permission to start sharing how you feel with the people around you.

You can start small – laughing when you want to laugh, hugging someone when you want to hug, or holding hands when you want to be close to the other person.

It’s a good idea to start slow in order to build a strong foundation built on trust and respect.

Without building trust and respect, you can’t feel comfortable to share your love or deepest thoughts.

If you didn’t grow up in a family where these skills were encouraged, give yourself some time to get used to communicating and emoting.

If you have practiced this first step but still have a hard time showing love and communicating confidently, you may want to consider trying positive affirmations about communication and relationships.

Affirmations are statements you can use to change the way you think and behave.

Another way to look at it is that affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind to accomplish great things.

If you tell yourself each day, “Communicating my feelings is important,” for example, you give yourself permission to communicate how you feel about others.

Another affirmation that gives you permission to show your love and affection for others is: “Communication is the master key that I use to open the door to happiness.”

Words have power. You can harness the power of words to change your life and relationships in a positive manner.

You can learn how to show love and communicate with loved ones by actively using affirmations in your life.

Affirmations can help you give yourself permission to share your feelings and love.

This will allow you to experience much more fulfilling and positive relationships.

Affirmations can also help you reprogram your mind with positive thoughts.

Use these thoughts to focus on – and achieve – your goals and replace negative thoughts.

Even though affirmations take some practice and may take some time before you begin to feel the full effect, you can make drastic changes to your behavior by repeating affirmations that encapsulate your belief system.

Repeat and reflect on them every day and you’ll soon notice a difference.

Yes! Affirmations really can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

How?

Well, what you think affects how you feel, which affects what you do with your life.

The more positive you think and feel about yourself and your relationships, the more positive events and situations you’ll experience in that relationship.

These changes will not only be obvious to you, but also to your friends and family.

If you make these affirmations part of your daily life, you’ll find that expressing love and communicating your feelings will be easier.

You’ll also be happy to discover that the love you express will be returned to you!

How do you show your love to your family?

What activities do you regularly do with your family?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 26, 2017

What is Co-Dependence and How Can It Stifle You?

Everyone has likely heard the term co-dependence. But what does it really mean?

When you get into a relationship, chances are you depend on your partner for certain things.

This is to be expected and it’s part of the trust you build. However, you don’t want to lose your independence completely.

What Is Co-Dependence?

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that’s usually passed down from other family members.

It is often described as losing yourself in your relationship.

If you’re co-dependent you’d likely cover up the actions of others for relief in the short term, even if it’s a bad move in the long term.

Co-dependent people often don’t listen to their true selves and end up covering up negative emotions with destructive actions.

They are more likely to develop problems with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, and more.

Are You Co-Dependent?

You might wonder if you just have a co-dependent tendency every once in awhile, or if you’re completely co-dependent all the time.

In order to figure out whether you’re co-dependent or not, it might help to ask yourself the following questions:

Do you find it hard to adapt to change?
Are you worried about the opinions of others including close family members?
Do you tend to avoid an argument at all costs?
Do you make excuses for loved ones?
Do you feel lonely or ignored when your loved ones spend time with others?
Do you find it hard to express yourself?
Do you have trouble telling others “no”?
Do you often feel ashamed about your inner feelings?

While your answer can be yes to one or a few of these questions without being co-dependent, you should now have a better idea about how a co-dependent person feels.

Deep down you likely know whether or not you have a true problem with co-dependence.

If you do, it’s in your best interest to seek out professional help. There are counselors available that are specially trained in the area of co-dependency.

How Co-Dependence Affects Your Life

Co-dependence can affect your life greatly and affect your partner and others around you. Of course the affects will be of varying degrees.

Let’s say your partner battles a common, yet debilitating problem such as alcoholism.

When they have a slip up, your co-dependent nature may wish to just cover up the slip up and just hope it’s a one-time deal.

You’d make decisions like lying to others about whether or not it happened, helping your partner sober up quickly, or calling into work for your partner and claiming that they’re just sick.

You can now see how this decision just makes things “better” in the short run. It’s the easy way out and your partner won’t have to face anything difficult.

They’ll be happier in the moment because you’re not causing them any immediate stress.

However, in the long run the problem is just going to continue and snowball.

While it may not be the popular decision, you’ll need to learn how to stand up to your partner and strive for what you believe is right deep down.

Become More Independent

There are ways you can learn to be more independent. In the above example, you’ll know that you need to have the difficult conversations with your partner.

You need to help them decide that they need to get over their problem once and for all.

You then need to decide that you’re going to concentrate on yourself.

You need to know that your relationship with your partner is not all about them and their own problems. It’s about you, too.

Take the time to think about your long-term goals and what makes you happy.

Remember that you must be able to stand on your own two-feet without shame, guilt, fear, or worry!

How do you feel about co-dependence?

How can it affect your life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 22, 2017

What Are Love Languages?

Everyone needs to feel loved. It’s vital to know how you enjoy being loved, but also how to properly love others.

A doctor by the name of Gary Chapman became famous when he came out with a book called The Five Love Languages.

There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages to make it easier for us to identify how to express ourselves to our loved ones.

Once you’ve figured out what your partner’s love language is you’ll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them.

For example, let’s say that your partner likes to hear the words “I love you” often.

Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day.

But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts.

Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it’s not their personal preference of how they like to receive love.

The Love Languages Explained

1. Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as “I love you” and “I appreciate everything that you do.”

For this type of person, you’ll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.

Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day.

Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking and feeling – speak up!

2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner.

This doesn’t mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

Choose a certain time each day or week where you’re completely dedicated to your partner.

This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the paper, and take some away from the kids.

Think of activities you can do together to really connect.

Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it’s the only way you can truly connect with your partner.

3. The Gift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts.

This isn’t because they’re greedy; it means they’re visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship.

If you’re with this type of partner, try these tips:

Even if you’re a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.

Leave loving cards and notes for them.

Don’t give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.

4. The Chores. We can’t forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners.

Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who’s doing what.

Keep these tips in mind:

Everyone has different chores that they deem important.

Figure out which ones your partner doesn’t enjoy and do them.

Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn’t only mean lovemaking.

It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.

This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner.

Get to know your partner’s moods so you know when to express physical affection.

6. The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages.

As your relationship deepens, you’ll get to know your partner better and better.

It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.

How do you show you love for your special someone?

How does your special someone show his/her love for you?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 19, 2017

My family is there for me. I feel fully supported by them.

I am a strong person and I can stand on my own. I am able to support myself and I take pride in my strength and what I have accomplished in my life.

I also take pride in the fact that I can, should I need it, accept help from my family.

Family is important to me and I appreciate the fact that I feel supported by my loved ones.

It may be true that I can support myself, however, I welcome help when I need it.

My family supports me and is always here when I need them. They are filled with love for me because I, too, love them.

I am there for my family and I am supportive of them just as they are supportive of me.

We share an unspoken love toward each other that no one and nothing can tear apart.

Today I appreciate my own bravery, but I allow my family to strengthen me. I appreciate their support and I bask in the glow of their love.

I also offer myself to my family because we share an unbreakable bond.

How can you strengthen the loving bond with your family?

Are you open to receiving the loving guidance from your family?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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