Relationships – Page 10 – Personal Growth Cafe

It can be difficult to show people how much they mean to you.

Many of us go through life with strong feelings about the people in our lives but we never express those emotions clearly.

Yet, having meaningful relationships actually requires that we know how to show our love and affection.

Learning How to Communicate With Your Partner

Showing your emotions can be easier when you give yourself permission to start sharing how you feel with the people around you.

You can start small – laughing when you want to laugh, hugging someone when you want to hug, or holding hands when you want to be close to the other person.

It’s a good idea to start slow in order to build a strong foundation built on trust and respect.

Without building trust and respect, you can’t feel comfortable to share your love or deepest thoughts.

If you didn’t grow up in a family where these skills were encouraged, give yourself some time to get used to communicating and emoting.

If you have practiced this first step but still have a hard time showing love and communicating confidently, you may want to consider trying positive affirmations about communication and relationships.

Affirmations are statements you can use to change the way you think and behave.

Another way to look at it is that affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind to accomplish great things.

If you tell yourself each day, “Communicating my feelings is important,” for example, you give yourself permission to communicate how you feel about others.

Another affirmation that gives you permission to show your love and affection for others is: “Communication is the master key that I use to open the door to happiness.”

Words have power. You can harness the power of words to change your life and relationships in a positive manner.

You can learn how to show love and communicate with loved ones by actively using affirmations in your life.

Affirmations can help you give yourself permission to share your feelings and love.

This will allow you to experience much more fulfilling and positive relationships.

Affirmations can also help you reprogram your mind with positive thoughts.

Use these thoughts to focus on – and achieve – your goals and replace negative thoughts.

Even though affirmations take some practice and may take some time before you begin to feel the full effect, you can make drastic changes to your behavior by repeating affirmations that encapsulate your belief system.

Repeat and reflect on them every day and you’ll soon notice a difference.

Yes! Affirmations really can make a difference in your life and the lives of others.

How?

Well, what you think affects how you feel, which affects what you do with your life.

The more positive you think and feel about yourself and your relationships, the more positive events and situations you’ll experience in that relationship.

These changes will not only be obvious to you, but also to your friends and family.

If you make these affirmations part of your daily life, you’ll find that expressing love and communicating your feelings will be easier.

You’ll also be happy to discover that the love you express will be returned to you!

How do you show your love to your family?

What activities do you regularly do with your family?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 26, 2017

What is Co-Dependence and How Can It Stifle You?

Everyone has likely heard the term co-dependence. But what does it really mean?

When you get into a relationship, chances are you depend on your partner for certain things.

This is to be expected and it’s part of the trust you build. However, you don’t want to lose your independence completely.

What Is Co-Dependence?

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that’s usually passed down from other family members.

It is often described as losing yourself in your relationship.

If you’re co-dependent you’d likely cover up the actions of others for relief in the short term, even if it’s a bad move in the long term.

Co-dependent people often don’t listen to their true selves and end up covering up negative emotions with destructive actions.

They are more likely to develop problems with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, and more.

Are You Co-Dependent?

You might wonder if you just have a co-dependent tendency every once in awhile, or if you’re completely co-dependent all the time.

In order to figure out whether you’re co-dependent or not, it might help to ask yourself the following questions:

Do you find it hard to adapt to change?
Are you worried about the opinions of others including close family members?
Do you tend to avoid an argument at all costs?
Do you make excuses for loved ones?
Do you feel lonely or ignored when your loved ones spend time with others?
Do you find it hard to express yourself?
Do you have trouble telling others “no”?
Do you often feel ashamed about your inner feelings?

While your answer can be yes to one or a few of these questions without being co-dependent, you should now have a better idea about how a co-dependent person feels.

Deep down you likely know whether or not you have a true problem with co-dependence.

If you do, it’s in your best interest to seek out professional help. There are counselors available that are specially trained in the area of co-dependency.

How Co-Dependence Affects Your Life

Co-dependence can affect your life greatly and affect your partner and others around you. Of course the affects will be of varying degrees.

Let’s say your partner battles a common, yet debilitating problem such as alcoholism.

When they have a slip up, your co-dependent nature may wish to just cover up the slip up and just hope it’s a one-time deal.

You’d make decisions like lying to others about whether or not it happened, helping your partner sober up quickly, or calling into work for your partner and claiming that they’re just sick.

You can now see how this decision just makes things “better” in the short run. It’s the easy way out and your partner won’t have to face anything difficult.

They’ll be happier in the moment because you’re not causing them any immediate stress.

However, in the long run the problem is just going to continue and snowball.

While it may not be the popular decision, you’ll need to learn how to stand up to your partner and strive for what you believe is right deep down.

Become More Independent

There are ways you can learn to be more independent. In the above example, you’ll know that you need to have the difficult conversations with your partner.

You need to help them decide that they need to get over their problem once and for all.

You then need to decide that you’re going to concentrate on yourself.

You need to know that your relationship with your partner is not all about them and their own problems. It’s about you, too.

Take the time to think about your long-term goals and what makes you happy.

Remember that you must be able to stand on your own two-feet without shame, guilt, fear, or worry!

How do you feel about co-dependence?

How can it affect your life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 22, 2017

What Are Love Languages?

Everyone needs to feel loved. It’s vital to know how you enjoy being loved, but also how to properly love others.

A doctor by the name of Gary Chapman became famous when he came out with a book called The Five Love Languages.

There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages to make it easier for us to identify how to express ourselves to our loved ones.

Once you’ve figured out what your partner’s love language is you’ll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them.

For example, let’s say that your partner likes to hear the words “I love you” often.

Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day.

But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts.

Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it’s not their personal preference of how they like to receive love.

The Love Languages Explained

1. Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as “I love you” and “I appreciate everything that you do.”

For this type of person, you’ll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.

Try verbalizing your appreciations in some way each day.

Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking and feeling – speak up!

2. Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner.

This doesn’t mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

Choose a certain time each day or week where you’re completely dedicated to your partner.

This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the paper, and take some away from the kids.

Think of activities you can do together to really connect.

Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it’s the only way you can truly connect with your partner.

3. The Gift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts.

This isn’t because they’re greedy; it means they’re visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship.

If you’re with this type of partner, try these tips:

Even if you’re a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.

Leave loving cards and notes for them.

Don’t give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.

4. The Chores. We can’t forget the chores when it comes to a language of communication between partners.

Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who’s doing what.

Keep these tips in mind:

Everyone has different chores that they deem important.

Figure out which ones your partner doesn’t enjoy and do them.

Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

5. Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn’t only mean lovemaking.

It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.

This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner.

Get to know your partner’s moods so you know when to express physical affection.

6. The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages.

As your relationship deepens, you’ll get to know your partner better and better.

It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.

How do you show you love for your special someone?

How does your special someone show his/her love for you?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 17, 2017

Relationships are my greatest treasures.

Relationships are far more important than riches. There is nothing in life more valuable than relationships.

Possessions are temporary and passing, but relationships make life-changing marks on our hearts.

I choose to spend my time and money on the people I care about.

When I receive an invitation to connect, I make the necessary arrangements to meet with my loved ones.

Rearranging my schedule to make time for my loved ones is a sacrifice I am glad to make.

Daily, I seek to make long-lasting memories with my family. When we are together, I ignore small annoyances and focus on joy.

My camera is always within arms reach so that I can capture memories to remember for generations to come.

I forgive my loved ones quickly of any offenses because life is too short to waste on frivolous disputes.

Relationships are my safe haven from life’s torrential rains. Good friends can turn even the toughest situation into an endurable adventure.

My friends and I help each other laugh through the storms and relax during the calm because that is what we do.

It takes a lot of effort to maintain relationships; therefore I work hard to be a good friend.

I have a tight grasp around those I love because life is full of distractions that can pull me apart from my friends, unless I make the conscious decision to hold on to them.

Today, I choose to make time to invest in my relationships.

I stay in touch with old friends because a well-tended friendship has the ability to outlast all other things in life.

What can I do to strengthen my relationships?

What can you do for someone you have lost touch with?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 17, 2017

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

November 29, 2017

I allow others to love me.

I exude confidence because I am proud to be the person that I am.

That confidence helps me accept the love that others offer.

I know that others can genuinely love me because I am worthy of love.

My friends and family love me just the way I was created.

I receive their friendship with arms wide open and I hold onto them tightly.

Those closest to me know that I welcome their affection because I make them feel comfortable when they are near.

I embrace those I love with warmth and fondness each time I greet them.

I open myself to others because friendships are my life’s greatest treasures.

My friends and family know their love is appreciated by the way I receive them. I welcome their love with freedom and trust.

I know that I am forgiven and accepted just the way I am. I remove expectations from my mind when meeting new people and I allow others to be themselves around me.

I give love therefore I receive love. When others smile at me, I smile back as a way to communicate to them that I welcome friendship and love.

Today, I choose to receive the love that others share with me with open arms.

I attract people with my positive attitude and receive their love with sincerity.

How can you attract the love of others?

What can you do to remove expectations about people?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 28, 2017

8 Ways to Foster a Joy of Learning in Your Children

When you foster the love of learning in your children, you set them up for a lifetime of happiness and success.

Children are born with a drive to learn and explore the world around them, and parents have the ability to nudge them in the direction of continuous learning.

Your ultimate goal as a parent should be to discover your child’s preferred method of learning.

You can do this by encouraging them to pursue hobbies that they find exciting and enriching.

You also need to maintain the wisdom to know when your children might need an extra push in a certain area or whether they need to change their course entirely.

Consider some of these simple strategies to foster a joy of learning:

1. Reading Stories. Your children are never too young to enjoy a story. Start reading to them when they’re babies and you’ll foster a lifetime of love for the subject.

When it comes to reading, as long as they keep practicing the skill they’ll keep getting better at it.

Encourage your children to read more, regardless of their age or topic of interest, as long as it’s age-appropriate.

2. Get Excited About New Things. It’ll help if you maintain a certain excitement about the things your child discovers.

When they’re babies, cheer when they learn to walk or roll over. Cheer as they learn to ride bikes.

Continue to show excitement every time they start something new.

3. Be Inspired Yourself. It’s important to remain inspired and continue to go after your own wants and dreams.

In life you never stop learning. If your children see your personal love of learning, they’ll be inspired, too.

4. Give Your Child a Choice. While you don’t have to allow your child to do whatever they want, you can still give them a choice in what they’d like to pursue.

When children have a choice, they feel like what they think makes a real difference, and it does! Let them choose their own books, hobbies, and so on.

5. Stay Involved with School. Make sure you stay on top of the topics that your children are learning in school.

You kids will like the attention and they’ll appreciate that you’re involved in their life.

You can go over assignments at home or you can even have frequent meetings with your child’s teachers.

6. Field Trips. Maybe your children will be scheduled to go on field trips with their school.

If not, you can always create your own field trips for afternoons and weekends. Schedule field trips that pertain to your child’s personal interests.

They will certainly be inspired to learn more and you’ll still be personally involved in their lives.

7. Show Your Support. It’s always important to show your children support no matter what.

Even if they’ve chosen a subject to pursue that you don’t enjoy, as long as it’s appropriate, it’s important to be there for your child.

If they suspect that you’re unhappy with their personal decisions, they may be less likely to continue with their studies.

8. Provide Resources. While you may not always have a great deal of cash available for your children’s hobbies, it’s a good idea to provide them with the necessary resources to allow them to fully pursue their interests.

When they’re toddlers and young children, it can mean just providing them educational and age appropriate toys.

It may be more of a financial burden when they’re older because you may need to invest in advanced training or camps.

You really only want what’s best for your children.

You’ll soon realize that as long as you remain loving and accepting, your children will continue to come to you for guidance and advice.

When you start learning with them while they’re young, fostering a love of learning will come naturally.

What is your child’s attitude towards learning?

Which among the items on the list above would be most useful for your child?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 19, 2017

My family is there for me. I feel fully supported by them.

I am a strong person and I can stand on my own. I am able to support myself and I take pride in my strength and what I have accomplished in my life.

I also take pride in the fact that I can, should I need it, accept help from my family.

Family is important to me and I appreciate the fact that I feel supported by my loved ones.

It may be true that I can support myself, however, I welcome help when I need it.

My family supports me and is always here when I need them. They are filled with love for me because I, too, love them.

I am there for my family and I am supportive of them just as they are supportive of me.

We share an unspoken love toward each other that no one and nothing can tear apart.

Today I appreciate my own bravery, but I allow my family to strengthen me. I appreciate their support and I bask in the glow of their love.

I also offer myself to my family because we share an unbreakable bond.

How can you strengthen the loving bond with your family?

Are you open to receiving the loving guidance from your family?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 7, 2017

I enjoy my time with family.

My family is a precious gift. I feel so blessed that my Creator filled my life with such incredible people.

The time I have with my family is invaluable.

I cherish my family relationships — my parents who gave me a loving home, my siblings who make me feel special, my children who allow me to see the best in myself, and my spouse who loves and supports me.

Carving out family time is important because spending time with my family fills me with happiness.

I look forward to sharing time with the people who mean the most to me. After all, the purpose of my work is to find fulfillment in life, while providing for my family.

I also take time to nurture all of my family relationships. Keeping these connections nurtures my soul.

When I call a family member who lives far away, take the time to have an important conversation with my child, eat a meal with my relatives, or arrange an activity that allows us all to bond — I strengthen my family connections.

Because I have strong family bonds, I am never alone.

When I am with my family, I am surrounded by love. My family wants the best for me and is always there to listen to me.

My family brings laughter and love into my life. They provide me with a strong network that keeps me safe and grounded.

Spending time with my family is truly a blessing.

How do you nurture each family relationship with the same energy?

How do your family relationships nurture your soul?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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Category: Relationships

I work each day to strengthen my relationships.

How to Show Love and Communicate With Loved Ones

What is Co-Dependence and How Can It Stifle You?

What Are Love Languages?

Relationships are my greatest treasures.

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I allow others to love me.

8 Ways to Foster a Joy of Learning in Your Children

My family is there for me. I feel fully supported by them.

I enjoy my time with family.