Relationships – Page 5 – Personal Growth Cafe

October 25, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways of Finding Closure in Your Relationship

As the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.”

Finding closure after the end of a relationship is often harder.

“Closure” is a psychological term that simply means closing the door on something or someone.

Closure means you leave the past in the past rather than dragging it out into the present again.

In relationships, this means learning how to let go of that relationship and move on to another, possibly better, relationship.

There are many ways to find closure.

In fact, how you find closure will depend entirely upon your personality and particular situation.

Here are the top ten ways to find closure after a relationship ends:

1. Declare out loud to a close friend that you accept that the relationship is over.

Choose someone who will support you and help you stay focused on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.

2. Call the person you’re letting go and release them.

Acknowledge that you still have feelings for them, the relationship isn’t healthy, and they’re free.

If it’s too painful to talk with them, write them a note.

3. Refocus on yourself.

You may have let your own interests slide while you were involved with your prior relationship.

Now’s the time to shift your focus back to yourself and what you want to do.

4. Find a new hobby or activity to replace the time with your ex.

If you always went out on Friday nights, invite some friends over, instead, and watch movies.

Or you could volunteer for a worthwhile charity.

5. When you start thinking about your ex, call a friend to bolster your resolve.

Ask them to restate your reasons for letting them go.

6. Create a mantra or saying that helps you refocus.

Keep telling yourself this mantra and before too long you’ll start believing it.

You’ll also start acting differently as well.

“I am strong and I am over them” could be all you need to say, but it may be something more detailed like “I’m a wonderful person who is worthy of love, respect and happiness.”

7. Remove things that remind you of your ex.

At some point in the future you’ll be strong enough to look at these things with fondness rather than being tugged back to the past.

Take them off your speed dial.

Remove photos of the two of you.

Box up gifts they gave you.

8. Take care of yourself.

Eat better, take up a new exercise, and get plenty of rest.

Hydration is important, too, so be sure you drink plenty of water.

9. If you’re feeling particularly sad over the break up, don’t hold it in.

It’s natural for you to feel upset about the end of the relationship.

Go ahead and cry.

You may even want to write in a journal how you feel so you can get the feelings out rather than holding them in.

10. Try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship.

Reflect on this after you’ve distanced yourself from it for a while.

If there were things you did that could’ve damaged the relationship, admit them.

Try to determine the red flags that signaled the relationship was ending.

Decide to avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.

If you didn’t want the relationship to end, you may be tempted to leave the door open hoping to rekindle that lost love.

It may be difficult to find closure, but the emotional price of holding out hope can be costly.

For your own health and peace of mind, learn to let the relationship end.

Let go of the past, close the door, and walk into a better future.

How can closure bring peace and happiness in your life?

How do you move on from one relationship to another?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 16, 2018February 15, 2018

Learning the Value of Sacrifices: Why It’s Important to Make Sacrifices in Relationships

When you love someone and you have their best interest at heart, you may be willing to sacrifice some of what you want in order to give your loved one what they want.

It’s common for spouses to make sacrifices for one another and parents to sacrifice for their children.

It’s important to learn the value of sacrifices even though they may not be pleasant.

Many experts feel that the willingness to set aside one’s own desires for the benefit of another is a good thing.

It shows true love and commitment when you can put your partner’s needs ahead of your own desires.

Your Attitude Toward Sacrifices

Some women feel they’ve made too many sacrifices for their partners.

They may have given up their dream to hold a certain job or put off going to school.

At first the sacrifice may have been for the partner’s benefit, but then came children.

The sacrifices continued until the dream they once had merely faded away.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Was the woman the only one who made sacrifices for the relationship and the family?

Is she using her choices as excuses for not pursuing dreams when she could’ve still done so?

How you view sacrifice is what matters!

You can see the sacrifices you make as a choice for what really matters, rather than something that you have to give up.

If you’re committed to your relationship, it’s possible you won’t even see your willingness to give something up for your partner’s benefit as a sacrifice at all!

Make Good Choices in Your Sacrifices

You want to be sure, however, that you make sacrifices for good reasons and that your partner also sacrifices for you.

Marriages and partnerships are supposed to be for the benefit of both partners. Therefore, sacrifices must go both ways.

It’s important that you never feel like you’re forced to make a sacrifice. It must be something that you do willingly, with no regrets.

In addition, your sacrifices should never compromise your morals or personal values.

These types of sacrifices will most certainly leave you with regret and feelings of guilt.

Unfortunately, the partner who would ask you to compromise your values may not the best partner for you.

Values such as these should never be compromised for someone else:

1. Honesty. If you feel you’re being asked to sacrifice honesty to help a loved one out, explain why this is a sacrifice you cannot make.

2. Loyalty. Loyalty is part of who you are, deep on the inside, and giving that up would mean giving up a part of yourself.

Agreeing to do so would only sour the relationship further down the road.

3. Faithfulness. What do you do if you find out your partner has cheated?

If fidelity is a value you hold dear, it’s unlikely the relationship will survive.

It’s possible, however, to learn to forgive, but it may be more difficult to learn to trust again.

Any relationship you enter into is going to require some give and take by each partner.

Be willing to sacrifice, choose wisely in your sacrifices, and your relationship will thrive!

When was the last time you had to sacrifice something for your relationship?

How did it make your relationship stronger?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 15, 2018February 15, 2018

Learning How to Become a Good Storyteller

There are many times throughout your life that being a good storyteller could come in handy.

If you have children, you’ve probably told the traditional bedtime stories – Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Princess and the Pea, or others – hundreds of times.

Learning how to become a good storyteller could make your job as a parent much easier.

You may also need to be a good storyteller as a business owner, employee, writer, teacher, or in many other occupations.

There are two items that are absolutely necessary for being a storyteller.

A storyteller needs a good story that is relevant to the audience.

Be sure you know what you’re trying to convey to your audience and keep their interests in mind as you unveil your story.

Be aware of how you’re presenting the story, whether orally or written.

What tone are you projecting?

Are you trying to rush the story to completion?

Your presentation will determine how well the audience is pulled into the story.

Here are some tips that will help you become a better storyteller:

1. Read, read, and read some more. You’ll stand a better chance of becoming a good storyteller if you’re exposed to good stories.

Think back to the stories you enjoyed as a child or authors that held your imagination. Use those stories as guidelines for creating your own.

2. Write everything down. If you write down your experiences, things you’ve heard others say, or dreams you have had, you may be able to incorporate some of that into your stories.

3. Don’t limit yourself. Maybe you’re interested in storytelling to entertain your children.

Start writing your stories down or record them as you tell them to your children.

You may decide to create a book of stories much the way Frank Baum did with the OZ stories or C.S. Lewis did with The Chronicles of Narnia.

4. Stick with what you know. Tell stories about something you’re passionate about. When you know your subject matter, it’s easier to weave a story.

Create your stories based on people you know but change the names to protect the innocent.

5. Determine what you want to communicate. If you’re telling a story to children, your purpose will be to entertain and teach them.

If you’re using a story to help you sell something, your purpose will be to elicit an emotional response. The reasons for each story are entirely different.

6. Think of your audience. Keep a story simple for children and increase it’s complexity with older audiences.

Children have a shorter attention span than adults, so short stories work better with them.

Too many details or a story taking too many detours also bogs down children. Keep it simple.

7. Pay attention to the world around you. Have you noticed a need that’s not being met? You could tell a story to call others to action.

If you’re a business owner, you might be able to use a popular trend as a basis for a story on your website.

Or if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you might be able to use a tip you learned from another mom to tell a story to your kids.

8. Learn to stick to the important facts. Storytellers, especially new storytellers, have a tendency to take off on rabbit trails that have nothing to do with their story.

By straying from the story, you’ll lose your audience’s attention.

Try writing your story down on paper first; you’ll be more likely to remain focused.

9. Consider taking acting lessons. Acting lessons will help you learn to bring your story to life.

Use different voices for the characters in the story and practice your improvisational skills.

Storytelling can be an important tool to use when trying to communicate with others.

With stories, you can entertain others or bring them to action depending on the story and how well you tell it.

Whether you’re trying to teach your children not to be afraid of the dark or you’re selling a product, learning how to be a good storyteller can bring you greater success in your endeavor.

When was the last time you told a story?

How did you make it fun and interesting?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 13, 2018February 15, 2018

How to Handle Household Arguments Effectively

Inevitably, if there’s more than one person living in your house, at some point in time there will be arguments.

The trick is to learn how to handle household arguments effectively while maintaining loving relationships.

Amazingly, many people treat complete strangers better than they treat their own spouse or children.

As important as it is to treat others well, it’s more important to treat those you love even better.

How to Avoid Arguments

The best way to handle arguments at home is to avoid them in the first place.

How do you do this?

Avoid miscommunication.

Repeat what the other person is saying so there’s no doubt about their intended meaning.

Resolve not to fight over misunderstandings.

Here are some communication tips that can help your family avoid arguments:

1. Be gentle. Try to control the tone of your voice, the look on your face, and your body language when you’re talking with family members.

If you speak with a gentle tone, arguments are less likely to start.

2. Trust. Develop a solid relationship with your spouse and children by keeping lines of communication open, building trust between all family members, and giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

3. Respect privacy. Keep your disagreements strictly between the parties involved rather than discussing them in the open.

This also means that you must avoid arguing in front of your children.

How to Handle Arguments

If an argument does occur, here are some ideas to handle it effectively:

1. Time out! Stop the argument if it becomes a shouting match with one insult after another.

Ask for five minutes to think about what’s already been said.

This will give both parties a chance to calm down and regain their composure.

2. Be willing to accept that you may be wrong. During the course of the time out, did you realize you were in the wrong?

Listen to the other person’s side of the story before you assert your own innocence.

You may have said or done something unknowingly that hurt the other person.

3. Apologize. Be sure to express remorse over your part in the problem and try not to do it again. Ask the other person to forgive you.

4. Is someone hurting? Realize that the other person may be hurt in some way, but it may be expressed through anger, tears, or insults.

By arguing, they may actually be reaching out for help or support.

5. Hormones and illness. Consider how the other person’s gender may be playing a role in the argument.

Perhaps a woman’s monthly cycle is causing her to be overly emotional.

Maybe one person has been ill and is really striking out at others just because they feel bad.

6. Above all, love! Remember that no matter what the argument is about, you love the other person.

Your goal should be to come to a solution where both parties win.

7. Forgive. Once the situation has been resolved, forgive one another and forget about the whole thing.

Determine not to bring the situation up again. It’s over; let it go.

When Your Children Argue

There are many things you can do to promote harmony between your children and reduce their conflicts.

Try these ideas to keep the peace:

1. Avoid comparing your children. They’re individuals and should be treated that way.

Be sure to let your children know how special they are.

2. Establish rules and household responsibilities. This will let them know what’s expected of them.

Include rules about how they should treat one another. Let them know that hitting and name-calling are off limits in your home.

Decide as a family what the consequences will be if they break the rules.

3. Give each child your attention. Many disagreements between children are based upon trying to get their parent’s attention.

If you reinforce to each child that they’re special and that you love them, they’ll have less reason for arguing and more reason to dwell in the family’s love.

In the long run, each person in the family makes the decision to argue or not.

If you decide that you won’t be dragged into an argument, the argument will often end of its own accord.

These are not the only ways to effectively handle household arguments, but they may be enough to make the arguments less frequent so your family feels more secure, loved, and peaceful.

How often are there arguments in your home?

How do you deal with it?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 5, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Delegate Tasks Effectively at Work and Home

Do you ever feel frustrated by too much work?

Does everyone else involved seem totally unaware of the urgency?

Imagine how different your life would be if only you could gain more cooperation in the workplace or at home!

Learning to delegate tasks effectively to employees, children, or teammates can reduce stress while accomplishing much more in less time.

Whether it’s your home or business you want to improve, a few changes can make all the difference in the world!

For example, when you visit a well-run classroom, you’ll find a teacher who has planned ahead for the day, assigned specific tasks to different children based on strengths, and requests help from the students.

The teacher doesn’t try to do everything.

Rather, the students are given assignments to be office helper, chalkboard washer, group leader, and more.

This works best when the tasks are spelled out on a chart with names assigned to the job, but simply requesting help is also effective.

You can use these same methods in your environment to recruit some much needed help and cooperation.

People intrinsically want to feel useful, so when delegating tasks, use these ideas:

Plan ahead. You can’t overestimate the power of planning.

When you know exactly what you want to accomplish, you can express it clearly to your children or employees.

With an end result in view, everyone stays on track.

Make a master list of tasks you’d like accomplished, including the different steps needed to complete each task.

Assign these steps to different people so each person in the office or family is working together to achieve a goal, and nobody is overburdened.

Match tasks to strengths.

Finding the person whose strength matches each need will not only result in the best product, but also more satisfaction in those doing the tasks.

Figure out who the writers, organizers, computer geeks, and artistic people are within your group and let their gifts complement their assignments.

The same holds true in your family when delegating tasks.

Match chores to the child based on age, physical capabilities, and preferences.

For example, if you have one child who likes a particular chore, let that chore become your child’s regular job.

Make tasks clear. Take the time to explain each person’s task and the steps needed to finish it.

Posting the steps on a dry erase board or chart is an effective visible reminder.

If your subordinates or children have clear expectations, you can simply tell them to complete their assigned job.

Some children are visual learners.

They learn by watching rather than listening to directions.

Show your children how to do a task correctly and they’ll learn quickly.

Make Deadlines Reasonable.

When you need something done quickly, especially in an office environment, people will naturally become stressed out trying to do the job correctly and quickly.

This will inevitably lead to mistakes being made and you’ll need extra time – and possibly extra money – to fix those mistakes.

Let your clients know how long is required to complete the job, and only commit to reasonable time frames.

If necessary, hire extra people to help rather than overloading your current workers.

You can keep your home and business running smoothly without frustration or stress.

With clear expectations and people functioning in their best capacities, peace and efficiency can be yours!

Start getting the results you want today by implementing these tips into your every day routines.

How does your family help with the chores at home?

How can you develop a better relationship with your family because of delegating?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 4, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner

Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t understand you?

Has there been a change in your communication level in recent months?

If you’ve been experiencing either of these problems, it may help to know you’re not alone.

In fact, lack of communication between partners is often one of the top reasons for breakups.

There is hope, however. You can learn how to communicate effectively with your partner!

Most people don’t have any idea what it takes to have effective communication.

Even though you’ve been talking your whole life, have you really been communicating?

There’s so much more to communication that merely talking.

Effective communication includes non-verbal cues like eye contact, body language, and tone of voice, as well as the words you choose.

Communication also includes being able to listen and actually hear what your partner is saying.

If you’d like to communicate better with your partner, here are some ideas that can help:

Discuss problems appropriately.

If arguing is a problem for you and your partner, you can turn the arguments into meaningful discussions with the right techniques.

When you need to discuss an issue, set the right stage for effective communication by choosing a time when both of you are calm and in a good mood.

Instead of both of you talking at the same time, only one person should be allowed to talk at a time.

While one person is talking, the other person should concentrate on listening and hearing what’s actually being said.

When the first person finishes what they want to say, the other can then express their views about the situation.

Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and concerns rather than putting them down for how they feel.

Avoid accusations.

Blaming or accusing may also be an issue you have with your partner.

You can both help alleviate this problem by using “I” messages rather than “you”

Starting a statement with “You always” will accomplish one thing and one thing only: you, your partner, or both of you will immediately become defensive.

Use “I feel” or “I think” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner for doing, or not doing, something you thought they should.

Here’s an example: Instead of saying “You’re never home in time for dinner,” you could say, “I feel upset about having spent time preparing a meal and having to share in it alone.”

In this way, your partner knows how you feel but they haven’t been personally attacked.

Listen effectively. You may feel like your partner doesn’t listen.

There’s a method of communicating called active listening in which one person talks and then the other paraphrases what was said.

After listening to the first partner, the second partner asks, “Did I understand you correctly?” and then paraphrases what they just heard.

Listening to each other might not even be the problem.

It might be that one or both of you haven’t actually understood what the other has said.

Active listening will clarify your comprehension.

Focus on one topic at a time.

Try to stick to one subject until the issue has been resolved or you agree to take a break from it.

Some couples start out talking about which type of dog to get and end up arguing about where to send their children to college.

This can help you make decisions and reduce the amount of stress you may both feel while you’re talking.

Effective communication with your partner is of the utmost importance if you want your relationship to last.

You want to know that your partner hears you, understands you, and is there for you.

They need to be able to convey to you their hopes and dreams as well as their concerns.

If you take the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner by following these ideas, you’ll enjoy greater happiness and success in your relationship.

What was the most memorable conversation you last had with your partner about?

How did it make you feel?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 2, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner

Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship.

In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.

If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.

Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe.

They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others.

They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.

For Couples in a Long Term Relationship

What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?

The answers may surprise you:

1. Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities.

Learn how to be a good listener.

This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency.

Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.

2. Use “I” statements rather than “you”

Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.

“You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack.

This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.

3. Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people.

It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you.

Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.

If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.

4. Don’t go to bed angry.

This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.

Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship.

This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.

For Couples Just Starting To Date

You can do a lot to build a trusting relationship when you first begin dating.

These tips will help:

1. Make dates and arrive on time.

If you have to arrive later than planned, call your partner to let them know you’ll be late.

This helps your partner learn that you’re true to your word.

2. If you’ve promised to do something, follow through with it.

Of course, there may be circumstances that keep you from following through.

Be sure to call your partner if something happens so they’ll be aware of the change in plans.

3. Men, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside.

One way to earn the trust of women is to express your feelings.

Being open and transparent is a better choice and will help establish and build your partner’s trust in you.

There are some things you may want to keep to yourself.

For example, if you see someone attractive walking down the street, you may not want to tell your partner.

In fact, the better course of action would be to keep your eyes on your partner and pay special attention to what they’re saying.

Trust is so important in relationships.

Use the ideas above to work at building trust between you and your partner.

It takes time to build and maintain a trusting relationship, but the benefits are more than worth it!

When was the last time you went on a date with your husband?

What is the most worthwhile activity you do as a couple?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 1, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

New babies are our pride and joy. Then they grow up.

Your relationship with your kids will change and develop as they mature.

It’s important to build a trusting relationship with your kids while they’re young and nurture it carefully as they grow.

Trust is a major building block when it comes to the parent-child relationship.

This is especially true as your children age and become teenagers.

You want to know that the trust you have in them isn’t misplaced, but you want them to know that they can trust you as well.

Trust is broken when one person in a relationship doesn’t act in the way the other thinks they should.

This could be a teenager who sneaks out at night to go to a party.

It could just as easily be a parent who stops coming to a teen’s sporting events for no apparent reason.

In either case, trust is broken because of a difference in expectations.

Children want to trust their parents.

However, parents still need to earn their children’s trust.

To do this, you must treat your child with respect, follow through on promises, and enforce household rules.

Your child needs to know that you’ll always speak truthfully to them and be reliable.

Trust is a two-way street.

Children and teenagers need to show their parents that they’re trustworthy by following their parents’ rules.

This goes back to acting as expected, which is the basis for trust and respect.

Here are some action steps you can take to build a trusting relationship with your kids:

1. Stress the fact that you’ll love them, no matter what.

Children and teens need to know that they have your unconditional love.

Go ahead and tell them, “No matter what you do, I’ll always love you. That will never change. I may not like what you do, and there may be consequences for those actions, but my love for you will never change.”

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

Ask open-ended questions so you can learn to understand each other’s perspective.

You may want to have a family meeting where you discuss the family’s rules and boundaries as well as the consequences of overstepping them.

3. Explain the benefits of having your trust.

Give them concrete reasons why being trustworthy is to their advantage.

For example, your child may ask to spend the night at a friend’s house.

If they maintain a trusting relationship with you, you may be more willing to allow that privilege.

4. Provide a road map for success.

How will they know if they’re meeting your expectations if you never tell them what they are?

Explain to them that skipping homework, talking back, snotty attitudes, and slamming doors will erode your trust.

However, finishing chores, doing their homework, speaking to you with respect and calling in to ask you about a change in plans will go a long way to building trust.

5. Give your child positive reinforcement when they do something right.

Show your appreciation for completing chores on time or doing more than expected.

Reward them with an extra half-hour of fun when they’re out because they’ve shown you that they can be trusted.

Trust is so important between a parent and child.

These hints can teach you how to build a trusting relationship with your child, but the work is still up to you.

Keep talking to your kids, expect the best from them, and you may find that they rise above your expectations.

How often do you spend time with your kids?

How can you develop a trusting relationship with them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

October 1, 2018February 1, 2018

The only rock I know that stays steady, and the only institution I know that works, is the family. – Lee Iacocca

September 30, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship

When you’re just starting in a new relationship, you have so much to talk about!

You may find that you share many of the same hopes and dreams for the future.

As the relationship grows, you want to be sure you’re building a rock-solid foundation on which to base your relationship.

Having that solid foundation will help your relationship weather the storms of life and bring you joy together.

In the past it wasn’t unusual for couples to stay married to the same person for their entire adult life.

It was expected that you would only have one spouse unless death took them away.

It was also expected that couples would buy a home and remain in that community to raise their children.

Commitment and community stability were two of the mainstays of the solid foundation marriages were built upon.

Modern Marriages

In today’s global economy, you’re no longer expected to stay in your same community your entire life.

You may, instead, travel the country or the world during your professional career.

However, you can still have a committed marriage that grows stronger as the years pass.

Unfortunately though, it seems that people today are afraid of true commitment.

Instead of entering a marriage with the intention to stick around no matter what, many people go into marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.”

Having that idea, even if it’s not a conscious thought, makes leaving much easier when the going gets tough.

The road to a committed marriage with a rock-solid foundation is a journey based upon a familiar road map.

A couple must decide if they’re willing to make the journey together regardless of where the road may lead.

Here are the normal stops along the way:

1. Romantic love is the easiest form of love.

In fact, it’s nearly effortless. This love truly is blind.

Each person believes the other is perfect and that their love can withstand any stresses that may come.

This period generally lasts about two years but can change as early as six months.

After the blinders come off, the couple begins to realize their beloved isn’t as perfect as they thought.

There may also be a small hiccup in their relationship as adjustments are made. This is where the real relationship begins.

A power struggle usually ensues after each partner realizes they must adjust some of their dreams for reality.

At this point one or both may decide to leave the relationship.

However, if they can stand together during this time, the relationship has a good chance of beating the odds.

This is a crucial time of learning to solve problems, negotiating to get what they want, and resolving conflicts.

2. Re-evaluation.

Next comes a point where each one re-evaluates their relationship.

They turn to friends and family to get confirmation that they weren’t foolish after all.

An affair is more likely now than at nearly any other point of a relationship.

They must hold fast to their commitment and re-learn who they are as individuals.

3. Together again.

There is a drawing together again from this point.

They may still have conflicts and differences, but each one is more giving and forgiving where needed.

They’ve weathered some storms and are ready for the next stop.

This is the end of the road for building a rock-solid foundation.

They’ve learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner.

No one expects the other to meet their every need, and there is a balance of being individuals as well as a couple.

They can now meet any storm head on and come out standing together with the foundation intact.

From this point forward, their love and commitment only grows stronger.

On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there needs to be trust, conscious attention to your partner, and mutual respect.

With these building blocks placed upon a solid foundation, your relationship will always be strong.

Remember this road map in your journey with your loved one, build a rock-solid foundation, and enjoy true love for life.

How important is your spouse to you?

What can you do to make him/her feel your love?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!