Personal Growth Cafe

March 5, 2018January 5, 2018

Coping with Anger from a Loved One

Coping with anger from anyone can be tough.

However, when anger is coming from someone dear to you, it can be especially difficult to deal with.

If someone you love is showing anger now, or continues to show anger on a frequent basis, you must resist the urge to fight fire with fire.

Fighting back will only make the situation explode and you and your loved one will find it increasingly difficult to come to a resolution.

Keep the following tips in mind as you deal with anger from someone you love:

1. Avoid reacting immediately. You shouldn’t let yourself explode with a burst of emotion.

Anger can get heated quickly and you don’t want to respond rashly, whether it’s with anger, sadness, or resentment.

2. Allow yourself time to cool down so you can approach the situation calmly and rationally.

3. Refuse to take things personally. There’s no doubt about it, this is hard to do when a loved one is hurling mud your way.

It’s easier to avoid taking it personally from colleagues and strangers, but for those close to you, it’s hard not to take their opinions personally.

Talk to your loved one about what they said.

Explain how you see their actions as personal attacks.

If they didn’t intend it as one, they’ll have a chance to explain themselves.

If they did mean to personally attack you, it’s important to work out the issue.

What can you do to improve the situation so these outbursts won’t happen again?

4. Admit the problem. It’s also important for your loved one to admit that they have a problem with anger if it’s recurring.

They may say they have control over it, but it’s only a matter of time before it flares up again and causes deeper wounds.

5. Help them cool down. Whether the anger is directed toward you or another person, step in and help them cool down before they lose control and let anger take over.

While you may like them to develop these skills independently as they practice on their own, they may need your assistance in the beginning.

You can help them reflect on their thoughts and feelings before they act.

6. Identify feelings. People don’t just immediately burst out in anger without a flood of emotions first.

Help your loved one identify their triggers so they can put a halt on anger before it starts.

7. Teach healthy anger expressions. Anger is a part of life. However, it’s how we react and deal with anger that’s important.

Here are some healthy ways they can express and cope with anger:

Write in a journal.
Exercise – go for a jog or run when anger arises.
Count to 10 and take several deep breaths before reacting.
Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation.
Express anger through art.
Focus on the good of a situation.

It’s important to discover a coping mechanism that works for your loved one.

At the same time, you shouldn’t get lost in your loved one’s struggle with anger.

You can go over some of the healthy anger expression techniques and implement them yourself as well.

By becoming a model for your loved one, it just may be what they need to change.

But if their anger turns violent, remove yourself from the situation immediately and seek professional help.

By helping your loved one learn and grow, you just may be able to strengthen your relationship and developer a lasting bond.

How can you continue to show unconditional love to those who matter to you despite the things that they do?

How can anger hinder us from forgiving freely?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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March 4, 2018January 5, 2018

What we must decide is perhaps how we are valuable, rather than how valuable we are. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

March 4, 2018January 5, 2018

Coping with Crippling Fear – When NOT to Trust Your Thoughts

Trusting your inner instincts is an important skill to learn, although there are times when your mind can play tricks on you.

When your body and mind are under stress, it may be difficult to see the difference between good thoughts and those that arise from fear.

Dealing With Fear

No one enjoys dealing with fear; however, it’s a necessary part of a fulfilled life.

The best line of defense is to practice remaining calm and ask for help when you need it.

After all, two minds striving for a rational solution is usually better than one.

When Not To Trust Your Thoughts

Even in difficult circumstances, you probably have an idea about what is truly right or wrong.

However, it’s a good idea to try to recognize the situations where you tend to have trouble thinking clearly.

That way, when these situations do come up, you can start working on solutions, instead of giving into the cloudy thoughts.

You probably shouldn’t trust your thoughts in the following situations:

When you’re under stress – People often don’t recognize how detrimental stress can be to the mind and body.

Stress can cause you to make unwise decisions and think too quickly. Stress can take over your body and produce hormones that alter your thinking patterns.

When you’re feeling anxious – There are varying degrees of anxiety that can affect anyone at any time.

When it takes over in a strong manner, such as when you’re dealing with crippling fear, it can lead to erratic, irrational thoughts or even panic.

When you’re having negative thoughts – Sometimes you’ll have a bad day or even a bad week.

Having a tough time can cause a negative thinking pattern that can cause you to think unreasonable or even absurd thoughts.

You may start to have angry or depressing thoughts that can’t be trusted.

When you’re having thoughts that seem real, but are rather unreasonable, remember that it’s not coming from you.

Rather, it’s coming from the build up and repression of years of self-doubt, negativity, stress, anxiety, or even past circumstances.

That’s precisely why you cannot trust those thoughts!

Dealing With Your Feelings

You now know that negative thought patterns can arise from stress, anxiety, fear or even the past.

Crippling fear, unfortunately, hurls many strongly negative feelings your way.

But it’s how you deal with them and proceed with your thought patterns that make all the difference.

Strive to take time to cool down and relax your mind before making important decisions.

One way to know if something is your true feeling is to wait a few days before making a decision.

For example, if after a week of thinking something over, you still think the same way, then it’s probably true.

Of course, you first have to ensure that your mind isn’t under attack from stress, anxiety, negativity, or fear.

Healing From Fear

If you find that you’re frequently in fearful situations, you can concentrate on healing those feelings.

When your mind begins to race, take in a large dose of oxygen.

Believe it or not, deep breathing is a signal for your mind to relax and think clearly.

So breathe deeply and breathe often!

Also remember that you’re not alone.

You have people who can help you and you shouldn’t feel shy to ask for that help.

If you feel uncomfortable talking with a family member or friend, consider the help of a coach or counselor.

Just remember to avoid taking drastic actions that arise from fear.

Take your time when making decisions, breathe deeply, and seek the help you need to overcome the grips of fear.

How can you face your fears?

How can this affect your attitude towards life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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March 3, 2018January 5, 2018

The place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. – Ivy Baker Priest

March 3, 2018January 5, 2018

Healthy Alternatives for Harmful Chemicals in Your Home

Harmful chemicals have become commonplace in many homes.

Most people don’t even think twice about the toxins that are included in our cleaners. Do you?

Disorders such as ADD, ADHD, autism, cancer, and auto-immune diseases are on the rise.

Many scientists believe that the harmful chemicals in our own homes are playing a vital role.

What can you do about it to protect yourself and your family?

Well, you can use healthy alternatives to these harsh, abrasive, and toxic fume-ridden cleaners!

Consider using these natural alternatives:

Vinegar has many uses. It can be used for cleaning many surfaces as well as softening clothes.

Vinegar is effective for:

Coffee and tea stains
Carpet stains
Cleaning drains

Hydrogen peroxide. Hydrogen peroxide is another natural agent that can help you with the laundry.

It can be used in the place of bleach and can even get rid of blood stains.

Hydrogen peroxide can also help in the bathroom; use it for bathroom mold in a spray bottle in combination with two parts water.

Tea tree oil. Tea tree oil can be used on tough mold and mildew stains instead of harsh bathroom cleaners.

The oil should be mixed with water and sprayed onto the offending area.

Don’t rinse. The area may have a strong smell that will eventually fade.

Baking Soda. Baking soda has many household benefits.

You can even use it in the place of drain cleaner: pour a cup of baking soda down the drain followed by boiling water.

Tough clogs can be followed by vinegar. Baking soda can also be used for:

Cleaning burnt on spots at the bottom of pots and pans
Dissolving grease on kitchen areas
Getting rid of offending odors and stains from clothing and carpeting

Lemon Juice. Lemon juice is a completely non-toxic alternative to many cleaning agents.

It can be used to clean and freshen up pots and pans as well as aluminum and porcelain surfaces.

Borax, or sodium borate, can also clean, deodorize and disinfect.

It can even be used to clean wallpaper.

It’s a great way to use a natural ingredient to clean painted surfaces as well.

Washing Soda. Like some of the other alternatives, washing soda has many cleaning abilities.

It can be used to soften water, clean walls, or even remove stains and grease.

It’s important to use caution when using washing soda because it has been known to irritate mucous membranes.

Of course most of the cleaning supplies you use contain soap to some degree.

However, soap is usually packaged with other ingredients, some of them being harmful chemicals.

Soap in its natural and pure form can make an excellent cleaning agent alone.

Other Household Changes

There are some other changes you can consider making to your home in addition to getting rid of harmful cleaners.

Instead of using air fresheners and other scents to mask odors, you can make it a point to get more fresh air into your home by opening windows.

Also, consider a no shoes indoors policy so that family members aren’t dragging in dirt.

It’s always a good idea to stay on top of a cleaning schedule.

When everything is fresh and clean on a regular basis, you won’t have to worry about using harsh chemicals to cut through layers of grime!

Which among the things listed above have you tried using?

How can this help make caring for your home easier?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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March 2, 2018January 5, 2018

An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men. – Thomas Fuller

March 2, 2018January 5, 2018

How Living in the Moment Can Help You Get Past Grief

When you’re living in the moment, your focus is on that moment only.

The past and the future can’t touch you.

It can be a difficult task to put your feelings about the past or future aside.

It’s like when someone says, “Don’t think of a pink elephant!” Did you think of one, just now?

Well, your grief is sometimes that pink elephant and it seems like there’s nowhere to turn.

In this situation, you can look for help from present moment thinking.

Remaining in the present takes practice.

While you’re learning how to live in the moment, remember that it gets easier as time goes on.

Using Meditation

You can work on controlling your thoughts, but one practice that’s all about staying in the present moment is meditation.

This simple exercise can also help you get over your grief.

Here are some meditation tips:

Make a meditation schedule – 30 minutes per day every day.
Go to a place where you can relax and be alone.
Sit in a position with good posture.
Take deep breaths in and out.
You can use a “mantra” or positive affirmation to help you focus.
When thoughts arise, acknowledge them, and then let them go.

The most difficult thing you might encounter when learning to meditate is calming your busy mind.

Focusing on your breathing helps clear away extraneous thoughts and worries.

When you’re grief stricken, it’s an especially difficult time to keep a clear mind.

Thoughts of the past will more than likely keep coming up in your practice.

This is normal.

As you continue practicing, it will get easier to focus on the now.

An important thing to remember is to avoid judging yourself.

Don’t punish yourself for thinking of the past when you’re trying not to think about it.

Realize that your mind is taking a turn you didn’t intend, and then lightly nudge it back in the right direction.

Be grateful that you were able to catch yourself in the midst of a negative thought, and then move on.

Keeping Up Your Practice

Once you’ve adopted a philosophy of present moment thinking, concentrate on keeping up with your practice.

Rather than a mechanism you turn to only when you’re in a pinch, consistent present moment thinking can bring you an exhilarating new lifestyle!

When you learn to live in the moment, you’ll find peace and happiness in life.

You’ll be more calm and collected and enjoy every moment for what it is. How amazing is this!

Moment By Moment

As your practice deepens, you’ll fully realize that life is just a series of moments.

It’s not a definable measure of time, but you’ll feel many moments in every minute.

Little by little, you’ll learn to recognize them.

You may find it difficult to remain in the present just because you must refer to the past and plan for the future in order to live.

This is true, of course, but once the reflection is over, and the planning is put away, your goal is to remain in the moment as much as possible.

Refer to the past when you must, but avoid reliving grief or daydreaming.
Plan for the future, but don’t obsess over it.
Simply look at what you’re experiencing right now and immerse yourself in it.

When your mind is completely focused on the present moment, you’ll be surprised at how energizing life can be!

How can you focus on now?

How does this impact your attitude for the rest of the day?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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March 1, 2018January 5, 2018

I’m tapping into my creative side.

March 1, 2018January 5, 2018

How to Become a Creative Thinker

While it’s true that some people are born with a creative mind, it doesn’t mean that creative thinking can’t be learned and developed.

You may even believe that you don’t have a creative bone in your body, but this simply isn’t true.

If you weren’t capable of some type of creative thinking, you’d be a robot!

Believing In Yourself

The first step toward creative thinking is the belief that you can acquire and develop the skill.

The truth is that, if you continue to set up a mental roadblock and tell yourself that you can’t think creatively, you’ll never get past this first step.

When you truly believe in yourself, you also open up doors.

The possibilities are endless just because you decided to give creative thinking a shot.

Developing Creativity

In order to foster creativity in your life, start thinking about where you want to apply your newfound creativity.

It’ll help, at least at first, to have a specific goal instead of the broad goal of just “thinking” creatively overall.

You might start with discovering better solutions to common problems at the office, or you might want to broaden your horizons with an artistic goal in your free time.

No matter what your goal is, try applying some of these creativity boosting tips:

1. Spend time brainstorming.

When looking for ideas for a project – or solutions to a challenge – write down everything that comes to mind without holding back.

Don’t worry about logistics or staying organized; just let your mind go free.

Another form of brainstorming that might be worth a try is free writing: just pick up a pen and let your mind go wild on the topic of your choice.

Tell yourself that you can’t pause or put the pen down; you must keep writing.

You’ll be surprised at what you can unload from your brain during a free writing session!

2. Change your surroundings.

You may have noticed that your patterns of thinking change when you’re in different places.

If you find that your mind is stuck, try changing your environment.

Go out for some fresh air or hang out in a coffee shop.

It may be just what you need in order to discover a new and exciting idea.

3. Take notes.

Always carry some kind of note taking device with you, whether it’s paper or a mobile device.

Record your ideas as they come to you, no matter where you are at the time.

Creative thoughts can come and go, but if you write them down you won’t forget them.

4. Research your topics.

Even though it may seem boring, you can do some research online.

When you do, you’ll learn that knowledge is power and it’ll enable your brain to get to a place it wouldn’t normally have gone.

Enjoy the journey and always follow your love of learning.

Research will always provide you with new angles of thought.

Consider Other Perspectives

While everyone comes with their own unique set of abilities and opinions, when you develop your creativity, you learn how to come up with new ideas and solve problems from different points of view.

No matter what challenge you’re faced with, spend time considering the perspective of others.

While you might not share the opinion of another, see if you can figure out how or why they have that view.

Think about how they feel.

Developing this empathy will keep your mind open, which will always foster creativity.

When you get into the habit of using these tips often, you’ll be pleased to see outbursts of creativity!

How can you develop a regular routine of creative thinking?

How do you bring out the creative side of yourself?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

February 28, 2018January 5, 2018

Posts

Coping with Anger from a Loved One

What we must decide is perhaps how we are valuable, rather than how valuable we are. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Coping with Crippling Fear – When NOT to Trust Your Thoughts

The place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. – Ivy Baker Priest

Healthy Alternatives for Harmful Chemicals in Your Home

An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men. – Thomas Fuller

How Living in the Moment Can Help You Get Past Grief

I’m tapping into my creative side.

How to Become a Creative Thinker

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley