Personal Growth Cafe

Stress comes in all forms and from all directions, especially for families in these super busy, technologically advanced, yet tough economic times.

However, even with the technology we’ve available to us, one of the biggest causes of stress in a family is lack of communication.

The unfortunate reality is that kids communicate with seemingly everyone but their family through texting, email, Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter.

Nowadays it can be tough to get through to your kids, which makes it a challenge to strengthen your family’s bond.

Getting Involved with Your Kids

One way to get more involved with your kids is to start communicating in a way that they’ll actually listen.

This may mean that you need to learn how to text, email and get on the social networks your kids are on.

The idea is to be a source of support for your child, and that means you need to be an active player in their life, even if they push you away.

Even if you get active in your child’s life online, the best way to communicate with your kids is while they’re at home.

Talk to them face to face and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

You might be surprised at how they respond.

At first it may seem awkward, but the more you do it, the easier communication becomes.

Communication with Your Spouse

If you’re lacking an open line of communication with your spouse, one reason may be that you’re not speaking each other’s love language or understanding their relating style.

This means that you need to discover what your spouse responds to the best.

Is it touch, the words you say, gifts, acts of service, or spending quality time together?

Once you know how to show love to your spouse, show it abundantly!

Also, listen to your spouse’s feelings, as this will often give you ideas about how you can fill their love tank.

If your spouse says something along the lines of “You never touch me anymore” or she wants to hold hands all the time, her love language is physical touch.

If your spouse often uses the phrase “We never spend any time together,” and likes to just sit and talk, their love language is quality time.

Spend Quality Time With Your Family

Another big stress on today’s family is not spending enough time together.

This is most likely because everyone is so busily involved in other activities that you barely have time to yourself, let alone one another.

So, how can you make time to spend with your family?

Set aside at least one day out of each week and deem it family day or game night.

Spending quality time with your family shows that you’re interested in what they’re doing and that you care about them.

Often teens think that their parents don’t care about them because they’re never home, or they feel that their parents play a passive role in their lives.

And because kids and teens often don’t spend quality time with their families, they go elsewhere to get the attention they crave.

Unfortunately, elsewhere may not be a good place for your kids to be!

Ensure you make time for your spouse.

Alone time is important for all marriages so you can continue to strengthen your relationship and explore one another’s dreams and desires for the family unit.

Make sure your family enjoys at least one meal together each day. Statistics show families that eat together, stay together.

Children do better in school and the overall atmosphere in the home is simply happier when you make eating together a priority.

The Financial Burden

Financial problems are another cause of major stress in families today.

Often, when the parents aren’t in control of their finances, their children suffer the same financial burdens later on in life.

As parents, you must teach your children financial responsibility from an early age.

Get your little ones a piggy bank to help them learn about the importance of saving money.

As they get older, include them in the budget planning and bill paying.

Help them understand the concept of financial responsibility.

Children need to know that money must be earned and that your debit or credit card isn’t magically filled with money all the time.

To recap, The Top 5 Family Stress Relievers are:

1. Communicate by speaking directly to your family.

2. Learn what love language your children and spouse speaks.

3. Spend time quality time together as a family with a family day or family game night.

4. Sit down for at least one meal a day with each other.

5. Openly discuss your finances and financial situation with your family.

Incorporating these strategies into your family life will help you have a more open relationship with each family member.

Plus, you’ll be able to relieve the stress and tension and replace it with joy, health, and happiness!

What are your favorite activities as a family?

How has this strengthened the bond that you have?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

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June 2, 2019March 22, 2018

My desire to succeed is more powerful than disappointment.

June 2, 2019March 22, 2018

Top Five Work Stress Relief Strategies

One of the biggest sources of anxiety and fear is work stress and it usually falls into four categories:

Work overload
Difficult co-workers
Demanding bosses
Fear and uncertainty about these tough economic times

Don’t despair, there really are things you can do to relieve work stress.

Most of them are easy enough you can start today and begin seeing results immediately.

Overloaded And Overwhelmed

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your workload, the first step should be to examine your schedule.

Maybe you can change your routine or rearrange your schedule so you have more time in the day to get the job done.

Perhaps there are some tasks you can eliminate or spend less time on.

You can also try to delegate the work to others in your office or even outsource some work to freelancers online.

If you’re still feeling swamped, you’ll want to speak to your boss.

Communication is the key to working things out and finding a way to lighten your load.

Co-Workers Who Don’t See Eye to Eye

There are always going to be difficult co-workers at every job. It’s something you’ll face no matter where you work.

Even if there’s someone who is just a pain to deal with for one reason or another, you don’t have to let it stress you out.

If you have a co-worker that’s continually trying to ruffle your feathers, confront the issue.

You may want to do this with your boss present as to avoid any chance the difficult co-worker can turn on you or say things that didn’t really happen.

If the problem still continues, however, and you simply can’t ignore it any longer, see if you can get moved to a different department or area.

If not, then I suggest killing the difficult co-worker with kindness.

When you turn the other cheek, so to speak, the offender will usually back off eventually and leave you alone or better yet, befriend you.

Either way you get the desired results.

A Boss Who Rules With An Iron Fist

Okay, what do you do when your boss is demanding?

Remember, your boss is your boss and it’s usually not wise to come across in a confrontational manner.

However, you can try talking to them in a peaceful, non-confrontational tone.

To do this, schedule a meeting ahead of time and write out your thoughts.

This will help you state your case and stay on topic.

Stick to the issues and the issues only.

Never place blame or come across as if you know better than your boss.

This kind of talk could only lead to a worse situation, if not get you fired.

However, if speaking your mind doesn’t seem to make your boss any less demanding, then you’ll have to let it roll off your back.

Easier said than done, I know. But, it can be done with determination and effort.

Questioning Your Future

Right now, probably the biggest cause of stress in the workplace is fear of uncertainty in these tough economic times.

Even if you’ve done everything to ensure your position at your company, like increasing your value as an employee, there are still no guarantees in this economy.

So, what can you do to help relieve some of the stress and fear?

One thing you can do is start preparing for the future.

Perhaps you could start taking classes at your local community college to learn a new skill or trade.

You could also start building an online business.

Even though the economy is struggling, online businesses are booming. If you make crafts or jewelry, or you’re artsy, you can start selling items on eBay or open an Etsy shop.

There are many ways you can begin securing your future now. All it takes is a little research and planning.

Let it Go! Release Your Frustration

The best way to relieve work related stress is to work out regularly.

Getting regular exercise helps relieve stress of any sort, but especially work related stress.

If you don’t belong to a gym, begin working out at home. Going for brisk walks regularly also greatly reduces stress.

Top 5 Work Stress Relieving Strategies

1. Examine your schedule, delegate, outsource, or talk to your boss when you’re overloaded.

2. Talk to a difficult co-worker or kill them with kindness.

3. Communicate with your boss when he’s too demanding.

4. Prepare for the future when you fear losing your job.

5. Work out regularly at home or at the gym.

Stress has become a part of your everyday life, but it doesn’t have to control your life.

By incorporating these strategies, you can overcome the major causes of stress in your workplace in no time!

What is your main cause of stress at work?

How do you deal with this?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 1, 2019March 22, 2018

Understanding the Auditory Relating Style

Different people have different styles of relating to others.

There are three identified styles of relating and auditory relating is one of these.

The other two are visual and kinesthetic.

The auditory relating style refers to those people who respond to and are stimulated by what they hear.

Auditory persons learn more effectively by hearing rather than by seeing.

Using audio, as well as reading aloud, is a great way to teach the auditory oriented person.

The auditory oriented person best responds to expressions of love in the form of words of affirmation and compliments.

The best gifts for an auditory person are:

Music
Audio books
Concerts
Anything that involves the use of their hearing sense

Auditory Relating in Relationships

The auditory person loves the sound of their voice! He can sit and chat for hours and he feels loved when this happens.

Auditory people are sensitive to another’s tone of voice and can be easily offended when given criticism or correction.

Therefore, using softer tones and beginning criticism or correction with positive affirmations is the best way to communicate with auditory people.

Auditory Relating and Conflict

An auditory person processes issues by talking things through; unless it’s something big, then they usually prefer quiet time.

In addition, the auditory person likes to have the last word and usually gets it.

Plus, they tend to be good at debating and getting others to talk as well.

Auditory persons are sensitive to the sounds of nature and often find peace when walking through the woods, by a crackling fire or strolling by a running river.

Add these types of activities to a great conversation and you’re speaking their love language.

The easiest way to identify an auditory oriented person is by listening to their expressions. They often use phrases like:

“Hear me out.”

“Listen to what I’m saying.”

“I didn’t hear that clearly.”

“We need to talk.”

“I can tell by your tone…”

Tips for Working with an Auditory Oriented Person

If your boss is an auditory oriented person, she’ll expect you to communicate through meetings, instead of email or memos.

She may even find email or memos to be offensive or less meaningful than a phone call or meeting.

In addition, if you need to address a problem or issue, you will want to begin the conversation with positive affirmations about what you like about a person or the project before you get into the issue.

An auditory person will then be more open to receiving your ideas and won’t be so quick to put up any walls.

Auditory oriented people tend to be more sensitive to breathing sounds, sighs and grunts, and often read into these noises as if something’s wrong.

If you’re a heavy sigh-er, for instance, you may often be asked, “What’s wrong?” every time you take a deep breath.

Once you communicate to the sensitive person that nothing’s wrong, eventually they’ll get used to your breathing sounds.

Communicating to an Auditory Type Person

Once you learn how to identify an auditory person, relating to them will be easier.

Here are the main points to remember once you’ve determined you’re dealing with a person who relates via sound:

Be sensitive when speaking.

Use appropriate tones of voice.

Begin criticism or correction with positive affirmations.

In addition, they like to hear compliments and the words “I love you” repeatedly. These are things the auditory person never tires of.

In fact, if you don’t compliment them or say “I love you” often enough, the auditory person may begin to feel unloved.

If you’re in a marriage with an auditory type person and they are constantly saying, “You don’t love me” or “You never say you love me,” you’re probably not speaking their love language.

To help with communication and make them feel loved, speak adorning words more frequently.

Communication is a lot easier when we know and understand our loved ones relating style, whether it is auditory, visual or kinesthetic.

Now that you can identify an auditory oriented person, you will be able to express your love for them easier and relate to them using their love language.

How do you feel about being around people who are auditory learners?

How easy or difficult is it for you to adjust to them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 1, 2019March 22, 2018

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus

May 31, 2019March 22, 2018

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. – Thomas Jefferson

May 31, 2019March 22, 2018

Understanding the Kinesthetic Relating Style

There are three relating styles: kinesthetic, visual, and auditory.

Kinesthetic oriented people respond to touch and act on how they feel.

Kinesthetic people like to engage in affectionate rough housing, as well as being held for long periods of time.

Kinesthetic persons often use terms such as these in conversation:

“I just felt as if…”

“I’ll handle it.”

“I feel like we really connected.”

“Take it easy.”

Physical contact and feelings are their primary love language.

Kinesthetic people often feel overwhelmed or feel picked on in a verbal conflict.

When communicating with a kinesthetic oriented person, a soft touch on the arm means you care, you’re interested, and you’re listening.

Often the kinesthetic person will touch you as they are speaking as well.

In the work field, a handshake is often offered and expected by a kinesthetic person.

Not only is a handshake proper and a sign of respect to the kinesthetic person, but it is also a personal connection.

In addition, they may put their arm around your shoulders while walking and talking. This is how they communicate and connect.

Kinesthetic people are hard to motivate, however, because they often can’t get past how they’re feeling in the moment.

They are very emotionally driven and often let their emotions control their actions.

Kinesthetic oriented persons also react to gut instincts and tend not to base decisions on reason or logic.

Kinesthetic Relating in Love Relationships

In a relationship with a kinesthetic oriented person, if you don’t touch them often, they may not feel loved by you.

They may feel rejected and not even know why.

If your loved one is saying things like, “You never touch me,” or “You never cuddle with me anymore,” their love tank may be empty.

Fill it up with some meaningful and long snuggles on the couch, a big bear hug or a nice back massage.

Then keep their hearts filled by giving them the touching, hugging, and snuggling they are thirsting for.

Understanding the Three Different Relating Styles

It’s important in all relationships, including your spouse, children, siblings, friends or co-workers, to understand the different relating styles, as well as how to communicate effectively using them.

Visual

For the visually oriented person, using picture words is the best way to communicate.

The best gifts for the visually oriented person are tangible gifts, or one’s they can actually “see” such as:

Books
Cards or notes
Flowers

When speaking to the visually oriented person, look them directly in the eye and expect to be “examined” by them as well.

Be aware of your body language and facial expressions, as they’ll be determining if they trust what you’re saying based on those two elements.

Auditory

For the auditory oriented person, communicating in soft tones and positive affirmations says you care and are interested in them.

The best gifts for the auditory oriented person are:

Music
Audio books
Concerts

Verbal communication is very important to the auditory oriented person.

They process issues or problems by talking them out. If the auditory oriented person doesn’t hear the words “I love you” frequently enough, they may not feel loved.

How to Tell Which Type of Person You’re Dealing With

Knowing how to determine someone’s relating style is important and can usually be determined in the first few minutes after meeting for the first time.

If the person looks you directly in the eye or seems to “look you up and down,” they’re visual.

If they do most of the talking right away, they’re most likely an auditory type of person.

If they touch you on the arm or reach for a handshake immediately, they’re kinesthetic.

Just knowing these few characteristics will help you strengthen your current relationships and start off on the right foot when getting to know someone new.

How can you better communicate with someone who is a kinesthetic learner?

How can this help you have a better relationship with that person?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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May 30, 2019March 22, 2018

The world is but a canvas to the imagination. – Henry David Thoreau

May 30, 2019March 22, 2018

Understanding the Visual Relating Style

The visual style is one of three types of relating styles.

The other two are auditory and kinesthetic.

Visual relating refers to those persons who are “visual” in their thinking.

Understanding how a visual person thinks and “sees” will help you communicate more effectively when interacting with others in relationships.

Visual oriented people often use expressions such as:

“I see.”

“It seems clear.”

“Do you see my point?

“I can see right through you.”

They also tend to be more uptight, high-strung, and very detail oriented.

The visual oriented person will often get lost in thoughts and daydreams.

Some examples of gifts and appreciated expressions of love for visually oriented people are:

Flowers
Games
Books
Framed Photos
Cards and Letters

When talking with a visually oriented person, using vivid words is the best way to communicate with them.

If you can draw a picture with your words, using lots of detail, you will be able to more closely identify with those who are more visually oriented.

Body Language

A visual person will also pay close attention to your body language.

They’ll notice your eye movements, hand gestures, posture and facial expressions and will read into those things to determine if they trust what you’re saying or not.

Words themselves probably won’t make much difference, but your body language and actions says it all to the visually oriented person.

Since visually oriented persons rely on their visual perception so much, they may tend to judge a book by its cover, so to speak.

The way one dresses or the car a person drives will say a lot to the visually oriented person.

Visual people may also be uneasy around people who build up a facade because they can’t see the real person inside or behind the mask.

Tips for Speaking to a Visual Type Person

1. When speaking to the visually oriented, look directly into their eyes and use positive body language.

Don’t cross your arms or appear distracted, as this will communicate to them that you’re focus isn’t on them or that you’re not really paying attention.

Another way to communicate positively is to nod your head, as if saying yes while they are speaking.

This shows that you’re actively listening and that you’re interested in what they’re saying.

On the other hand, when you’re having a conversation with a visually oriented person, you may feel as if you’re being examined because their eyes will move around, observing all the details of your hair, teeth, clothing and jewelry.

They may even stop you in conversation to give you a compliment about what you’re wearing or the way you’re hair is styled.

2. If your boss is visual-oriented, an organized office or workspace is probably very important to him or her.

Therefore, it’s important for you to keep your workspace neat and orderly to avoid conflict.

They may also be very picky about dress and expect their employees to dress professionally at all times.

Understanding Visually Oriented People

The visual person tends to like video games, computers, and television. Often they’re artistic, crafty, and creative thinkers.

They tend to be able to visualize the outcome of a decision and may tend to over analyze situations.

When building relationships, determining a person’s relating style is probably the first thing you should do so you can understand where they’re coming from and how they will respond.

Now that you’re equipped with the knowledge of how a visual person communicates, you will be able to strengthen your relationships both personally and professionally.

How often do you encounter people who learn best by visualizing or seeing things?

How have you been a visual learner at one point in your life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

Posts

I allow stress to leave my mind and body quickly and easily.

Top Five Family Stress Relief Strategies

My desire to succeed is more powerful than disappointment.

Top Five Work Stress Relief Strategies

Understanding the Auditory Relating Style

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. – Thomas Jefferson

Understanding the Kinesthetic Relating Style

The world is but a canvas to the imagination. – Henry David Thoreau

Understanding the Visual Relating Style