Have you ever wondered if there’s a right person for everyone—especially you? If you’re like other singles, you’ve probably asked yourself this question a lot. Perhaps you’ve had love and lost. You’ve been married and divorced. Or you’ve been single your whole life.
As we grow older, especially past 40, many singles, whether divorced or never married, ask this question with more and more doubt. Some of them may erroneously believe there seems to be fewer opportunities to find love. You most likely found it easier to meet potential partners when you were younger: in school, in jobs, in your neighborhood, or through friends. There appeared to be no shortage of the “right person” available. And you may have connected with some partners, but unfortunately, for whatever reasons, it didn’t last.
I once heard someone say, “If you can’t find Mr. Right, how about Mr. Right Now?” Or the song that says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” That’s fine if you’re not looking for long-lasting love and you’re happy to live—and love—in the moment. And this scenario is perfect for many people. Because you may have noticed that the longer you’ve been single, the harder it is to consider being with someone on a regular basis. You’re set in your ways, you enjoy your freedom, and you have no one to have to compromise with. So being with Mr. or Ms. Right Now is OK for you.
However, if you have your heart set on finding the right person long-term, then you need to ask this question: “Am I the right person?” What I mean by that is, are you the right person for someone else, that someone who’s also looking for the right person? And truthfully, the only way to be the right person for someone is to be the right person for you!
So the question you should be asking instead of “Will I ever find the right person for me?” is “Am I the right person for me?” To explore this further, take stock of your assets and liabilities—no, not the financial ones, although that’s part of the picture, but the personal ones. Can you assemble a personal balance sheet?
For example, your asset side could include: I’m attractive, friendly, generous, helpful, talented, and curious; while your liabilities might include: I’m a procrastinator, I’m often late, I don’t always keep my commitments, I don’t finish what I start, and I’m disorganized at home. Then consider whether you want to improve upon or eliminate any of these traits. Would they be appealing to the person you imagine is right for you? Are you happy with these characteristics?
To find the right person for you think about embarking on the journey of becoming the right person—for you and for that someone who will be attracted to you because you’re attracted to yourself. The love of your life is YOU—at least for now!