frustrations – Personal Growth Cafe

January 10, 2019February 21, 2018

I have found ways to express my feelings rather than act out my frustrations.

I can express myself in healthy ways because I am in control of my frustrations.

Because I am able to communicate my feelings in healthy ways, I am free to experience a full range of feelings and emotions.

I have tools and techniques to control my frustrations, and this allows me to communicate in positive ways.

I enjoy the freedom to feel all my emotions.

I utilize techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, to control my frustrations so I need not fear inappropriate expressions of my feelings.

Before communicating my feelings, I take several deep breaths, which clears my mind and relaxes my body.

There are times when I need to take a time out before expressing feelings of frustration.

This time allows me to look at my role in the situation.

After breathing deeply and reflecting, I am calm and can then express myself in healthy ways.

Using the same tools, I am able to appropriately express feelings of happiness and excitement as well.

I give myself permission to fearlessly feel my emotions and express them freely.

Today I will breathe deeply before expressing frustration.

I will feel relaxed and recharged and will communicate in healthy ways.

If I feel frustrated, I will take the time to look at my role in the situation.

I will explore my expectations and be able to communicate my feelings in a healthy way.

When have you feared your own feelings or expressing them?

How do you communicate your feelings in healthy ways?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 17, 2018January 5, 2018

Resolving Frustration in Your Life

We all get frustrated from time to time, but we need to express it constructively and effectively, otherwise we may hurt those we love the most.

Frustration is a normal reaction to being hurt, threatened, or unable to fulfill current needs.

It’s how we express our frustration that can cause additional stress in our own lives and in the lives of others.

Most often, the way we deal with frustration is formed at a very young age.

For example, we may mirror our parent’s reaction, or we may respond in the way we were conditioned because of our life experiences.

If the typical way you handle frustration causes problems in your life, then it’s time to change how you think and react to frustrating situations.

Unhealthy methods of processing frustration can lead to health problems and even inhibit our relationships with others.

How to Deal with Frustration Effectively

Many people respond to frustration by getting angry, giving up, or indulging in other self-destructive behaviors such as abuse of food, alcohol, drugs or cigarettes.

Expressing and dealing with frustration constructively requires several key components.

These ideas can help reduce the frustration in your day-to-day life as well as help you react patiently and peacefully:

1. Establish mutual respect.

You should have a mutual respect for all people involved, even those with differing opinions than your own.

Everyone is entitled to his or her own voice and you’ll waste precious time if you’re frustrated by every differing opinion.

2. Have a clear awareness of your own needs, thoughts, and feelings.

Discover who you are as a person rather than mimicking someone else’s opinions and thoughts.

3. Learn the difference between surface and primary needs.

In other words, is this frustration about one of your basic needs not being met, or is it merely due to a less significant, secondary need?

What’s preventing you from meeting this need?

4. Be aware of what you can and cannot control.

Some causes of frustration are beyond your control and therefore there’s no purpose in wasting energy on them.

Instead, use that energy to cope with the situation and move on.

5. Communicate constructively.

Be able to communicate your own personal boundaries and needs calmly and respectfully without guilt or shame.

This should not involve raising your voice or swearing.

Rather, learn to speak up so your personal needs are met.

6. Avoid feeling responsible for the behavior of others.

Everyone has his or her own free will and you can’t force someone to do something.

They make their own decisions and a reasonable adult will take responsibility for their own actions.

Remember: only you can control your actions and no one can make you do something against your will.

7. Determine the cause.

By identifying the cause of your hurt or frustration without placing blame, you’ll loosen the grips of frustration.

8. Realize that frustration isn’t always a bad thing.

Sometimes frustration can serve as a motivator to change if certain problems in your life are keeping you from reaching your goals.

Regularly evaluate if you’re on track to meet your life goals.

Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years?

Sometimes you need to create a new goal and make some life changes to reduce your frustration and make your goal become a reality.

9. Accept reality.

When frustration is aimed at a circumstance beyond our control, it’s time to learn to accept the realities of life.

10. Learning to take things in stride will make you a happier and more content person.

When the frustrating situation is something you can’t control, such as getting stuck in traffic, practicing relaxation and deep-breathing techniques can be effective.

Frustration can turn a normally peaceful person into an irrational, angry one.

If you allow it, frustration can hinder your progress and immobilize you.

The goals you’re trying to attain will all of a sudden be out of reach.

Remember that, while you can’t completely eliminate frustration from your life, you can manage how you let it affect you.

How have you remained focused on solutions?

How have you enjoyed the today?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 24, 2012July 4, 2012

7 Tips for Dealing With Disappointment

Because life is less than perfect, we all experience situations that bring feelings of disappointment from time to time. Therefore, it’s important to have your own tool kit of tips to confront and combat these emotional upsets so you can move past them and on to better things.

Use these techniques to help you conquer disappointment:

1. Allow yourself to feel however you feel. When a troublesome event takes place, it’s completely normal to feel disappointed and a little down. Your feelings are a natural part of you and you’re entitled to feel disconcerted from time to time. Think about what has made you upset and how you feel about it.

2. Refrain from attributing too much importance to the situation that brought you disappointment. Sometimes, it’s easy to react to an upsetting situation by exaggerating the consequences of the event.

• For example, when you’re passed over for a promotion, you might think, “I’ll never get an opportunity to advance at the office again. I guess my career is over.”

• Instead, be realistic about the impact of the recent disappointment. Okay, it’s a setback. But it’s just one hitch. You’ll have plenty of chances to recover.

3. Revisit your goals. What is your ideal outcome? What are you seeking in life? Have you established personal and professional goals that stimulate, motivate, and excite you? Now that you’ve allowed yourself the time to sort through your feelings of disillusionment, it’s time to shift gears.

• Review your personal and professional goals to reinvigorate your efforts to achieve them. Don’t be surprised if your goals have changed since the last time you thought about them.

4. Construct a dream board. Speaking of having clarity in what you want in life, making a dream board will help you do just that. Also known as vision boards or personal collages, a dream board can include pictures, drawings, and sayings about everything in life you’re seeking.

• The process will be a deeply satisfying experience. Plus, you’ll have your dream board to admire every day and remind you of the goals you’re working for.

5. Focus on 1 or 2 goals. Choose at least one personal and one professional goal to focus on for the next month. Keep that goal in your thoughts each day by having it in your calendar or even on a note in your car. Concentrate your efforts on one or two goals at a time.

• This way, you’ll leave your feelings of disappointment behind, replacing them with positive feelings. You’ll focus on and commit to achieving a result that’s very important to you.

6. Recognize life offers all kinds of possibilities. In actuality, there are probably plenty of ways to expand your horizons at the office and in your career. Avoid making one disappointing occurrence a constant source of nagging negativity. Take notice of all the opportunities you have now. Realize more will be coming along every single day.

7. Onward and upward. When you’re moving forward in life, you’re less affected by occasional disappointments. Consider your disappointment a thing of the past and vow to move on. Make a short list of what you’ll do over the next days to achieve the goals you selected to focus on.

There are many strategies to help you move past the disappointing times in life. When you allow yourself your own feelings, avoid placing too much emphasis on an upsetting event, and review your life goals, you’re well on your way to better days.

Also, making a dream board, focusing on just 1 or 2 goals, and moving on with your life will allow you to leave your disappointment behind and embrace renewed faith in your almost-perfect life!