life – Page 31 – Personal Growth Cafe

Are your negative internal dialogues keeping you from doing things you want to do?

Do you lack confidence, even though you know that other people believe in your abilities?

If so, you may appreciate some help getting inspired and motivated!

Negative self-talk can be a roadblock to doing your best, pursuing your dreams, and enjoying life.

On the other hand, positive self-talk can spur you on to do great things and live an exciting life full of passion!

Motivational Affirmations For Your Life

A great way to get motivated is to use motivational affirmations.

Using affirmations can change how you think about yourself and how you view the world around you.

These positive statements can bring you the motivation you seek, as well as happiness, joy, and passion.

When you’re feeling negative or down, repeating affirmations can immediately improve your mood.

Even though affirmations can work immediately, don’t think of them as a quick fix.

Positive affirmations are most effective in the long-term so you can get what you deeply desire out of life.

When you use affirmations, you are literally reprogramming the way you think.

You replace your negative self-talk and doubts with positive, motivating thoughts.

Eventually, these positive thoughts become reality.

These motivational affirmations work because they push away the negative thoughts that are limiting you day in and day out.

You can leave your negative thinking in the past if you fill your current thoughts with positive, motivational affirmations.

Before you know it, these affirmations will become second nature, allowing you to change your life systematically, one thought at a time.

Here are the top ten motivational affirmations:

I welcome positive energy and I use that feeling to accomplish more.
I use my energy to live my life to the fullest.
No matter what I’m working on, I’m always committed to completing my goal.
I trust my thought processes. They are clear and I am very capable.
I can find my own intrinsic motivator.
No matter how hard I may fall, I get back up, dust myself off, and forge on.
No matter the challenge, I will see it through.
I enjoy being responsible for my actions.
My life is full of purpose, exciting change, and many recognized deeds.
By commemorating the smallest nuggets of success, I am motivated to complete the larger tasks.

Use this list of affirmations in those moments of self-doubt to help you find the motivation you need.

Repeat them in the morning when you first wake up, or make them your last thoughts at night before you sleep.

You can also find other affirmations that have special meaning for you, or write your own affirmations.

It doesn’t matter where you get them, as long as they speak to your heart and are focused on the present.

We all need a motivational boost from time to time.

Now you don’t have to look to other people or situations to keep you moving forward.

Keep your affirmation list updated with the thoughts you’d like to be thinking, repeat your affirmations several times a day, and soon you’ll be living the passionate life you’ve always wanted!

How can affirmations help move you forward?

What is your favorite affirmation?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 26, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways to Move on in Your Love Life

You’ve been in your relationship for quite some time.

Things have changed recently, and you’re beginning to doubt that it’s going to last much longer.

You’re not even sure how you got to this point! What happened?

Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that a relationship is breaking down.

Think back over the last few months and you may recognize some of these signs:

1. Unnecessary criticism. Your partner blames you or attacks your character.

2. Contempt. Nearly everything your partner says is a complaint or an insult.

3. Avoidance. Your partner has begun ignoring or avoiding you.

4. Being defensive. You don’t listen to what your partner says for fear of being hurt or them lashing out at you again.

Two or more of these warning signs could signal that it’s time to move on, but how do you do that?

Moving On

First, realize that the end of any relationship is similar to dealing with a loss of a loved one.

You may go through the grieving process: denial, anger, ambivalence, depression, and recovery. This is normal and to be expected.

Give yourself some time to grieve and you’ll come out a stronger person on the other side.

Here are the top ten ways to move on in your love life after the end of a relationship:

1. Recognize and accept that the relationship is over. Don’t hold on when there’s nothing to hold on to.

2. Remove everything in your home that reminds you of them. Don’t keep sentimental items; they’ll only make you miserable.

Put away valuable items such as jewelry or other gifts rather than throwing them away. You may want those items in the future.

3. If seeing your ex hurts, make it a point to avoid them. Sometime in the future you may be able to be friends, but now is not the time to try.

4. Don’t make financial decisions right after a break up. Your emotions may cause you to make emotional decisions.

It’s better to wait until you’re on emotionally stable footing.

5. Avoid rebound relationships. Give yourself time to heal from being hurt before opening your heart again.

6. Focus on yourself. You may have spent so much time investing in the other person that you’ve let your own needs go.

Learn to find out about yourself again.

What do you like to do that you haven’t been doing?

Do something special just for you!

7. Take up a new hobby. Now is a great time to start something new.

Renew your interests in hobbies that you like, and spend time exploring new creative outlets.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn rock climbing, but your ex was afraid of heights.

There’s no reason to wait any longer. Go find an instructor and hit that mountain!

8. Don’t stay cooped up at home. It’s important that you spend time with friends who can encourage you and help you feel good about yourself.

9. Be friendly with people you find attractive. Smile, say hello, and act interested.

You may not be ready to jump right back into a relationship, but you can always leave the door open for future relationships.

10. Work your way back to dating slowly. You may want to start out by double dating with a friend.

Be up front with your date so they know what to expect.

Breaking up from a long-term relationship is never easy. Let’s admit it, it hurts.

You can move on in your love life after a break up if you recognize the end, and then follow the ten steps given above.

Soon you’ll find that you’re over your last relationship and ready for someone new.

Why do relationships end?

How can you learn from a relationship that has passed?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 25, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways of Finding Closure in Your Relationship

As the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.”

Finding closure after the end of a relationship is often harder.

“Closure” is a psychological term that simply means closing the door on something or someone.

Closure means you leave the past in the past rather than dragging it out into the present again.

In relationships, this means learning how to let go of that relationship and move on to another, possibly better, relationship.

There are many ways to find closure.

In fact, how you find closure will depend entirely upon your personality and particular situation.

Here are the top ten ways to find closure after a relationship ends:

1. Declare out loud to a close friend that you accept that the relationship is over.

Choose someone who will support you and help you stay focused on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.

2. Call the person you’re letting go and release them.

Acknowledge that you still have feelings for them, the relationship isn’t healthy, and they’re free.

If it’s too painful to talk with them, write them a note.

3. Refocus on yourself.

You may have let your own interests slide while you were involved with your prior relationship.

Now’s the time to shift your focus back to yourself and what you want to do.

4. Find a new hobby or activity to replace the time with your ex.

If you always went out on Friday nights, invite some friends over, instead, and watch movies.

Or you could volunteer for a worthwhile charity.

5. When you start thinking about your ex, call a friend to bolster your resolve.

Ask them to restate your reasons for letting them go.

6. Create a mantra or saying that helps you refocus.

Keep telling yourself this mantra and before too long you’ll start believing it.

You’ll also start acting differently as well.

“I am strong and I am over them” could be all you need to say, but it may be something more detailed like “I’m a wonderful person who is worthy of love, respect and happiness.”

7. Remove things that remind you of your ex.

At some point in the future you’ll be strong enough to look at these things with fondness rather than being tugged back to the past.

Take them off your speed dial.

Remove photos of the two of you.

Box up gifts they gave you.

8. Take care of yourself.

Eat better, take up a new exercise, and get plenty of rest.

Hydration is important, too, so be sure you drink plenty of water.

9. If you’re feeling particularly sad over the break up, don’t hold it in.

It’s natural for you to feel upset about the end of the relationship.

Go ahead and cry.

You may even want to write in a journal how you feel so you can get the feelings out rather than holding them in.

10. Try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship.

Reflect on this after you’ve distanced yourself from it for a while.

If there were things you did that could’ve damaged the relationship, admit them.

Try to determine the red flags that signaled the relationship was ending.

Decide to avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.

If you didn’t want the relationship to end, you may be tempted to leave the door open hoping to rekindle that lost love.

It may be difficult to find closure, but the emotional price of holding out hope can be costly.

For your own health and peace of mind, learn to let the relationship end.

Let go of the past, close the door, and walk into a better future.

How can closure bring peace and happiness in your life?

How do you move on from one relationship to another?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 25, 2018February 16, 2018

The safest principle through life, instead of reforming others, is to set about perfecting yourself. – B. R. Haydon

October 24, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Five Ways To Apologize

Apologizing isn’t an easy thing to do.

If you’ve never been taught how to apologize, it makes the task even harder.

Sometimes simply saying, “I’m sorry” doesn’t adequately communicate your regret for having done something that was hurtful.

When you’ve done something you shouldn’t, here are the top 5 ways to apologize:

1. Express regret by saying: “I’m sorry for…” Be specific in expressing yourself.

What are you sorry for?

This isn’t merely a way to say you’re sorry that you got caught, but rather that you’re sorry you hurt another person.

Perhaps your intent wasn’t even to hurt someone, but it happened anyway, and expressing your regret can ease the hurt.

2. Accept responsibility by saying: “I was wrong.” It’s important to accept responsibility for what you’ve done.

If you can’t take responsibility, it will be hard for people to forgive you.

Don’t try to shove the blame off on someone else; admit that you’re the guilty party and tell the person what you did was wrong.

3. Make amends by asking: “What can I do to fix this?”

After you’ve expressed regret and accepted responsibility, it’s important that you do what you can to make amends.

If you want to re-establish trust with the person you’ve hurt, making restitution is vital.

4. Express genuine repentance by promising: “I’ll do my best to never do this again.”

You may regret having done what you did, and that’s good. However, it’s crucial that you don’t repeat the offense again in the future.

The old saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

It’s harder to forgive someone who’s done the same thing for a second time.

5. Request forgiveness by asking: “Will you please forgive me?”

Be sure to ask the person you’ve offended to forgive you.

Neither of you will be able to let this go, put it in the past, and move forward if there isn’t true forgiveness on the one part and true repentance on the other.

If you follow these steps, does that mean the person you’ve hurt will always forgive you?

There’s no guarantee, and depending on what caused the pain, it may take them a little while to get to the point of forgiveness.

However, your chances of forgiveness when you give a sincere apology are much greater than if you merely gloss over it with a curt “I’m sorry.”

Part of the reason your apology may not be accepted is because of the way it’s given.

If you tell them, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but…” it’s a pretty good bet they’re thinking the apology may not have been heart-felt.

There’s no wonder they may not be so quick to forgive you.

When your apology isn’t sincere, there may be forgiveness, but that doesn’t mean the relationship has been restored the way you hoped it would be.

What if you don’t feel like what you’ve done requires an apology?

Why should you offer one if what you did wasn’t wrong?

Well, if a person perceives it as being wrong, you may still want to offer a sincere apology for how they’re feeling.

This will help you reconnect with someone who’s important to you and strengthen the trust between you, which is always a good thing for your relationship.

Learning these top 5 ways to apologize will give you an important skill you can use to improve your relationships.

Use them sincerely and enjoy the benefits!

How important is making amends for you?

How easy or difficult is it for you to apologize?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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