relationships – Personal Growth Cafe

October 22, 2019March 27, 2018

Nine Ways to Ignite the Passion in Your Relationships

After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’re likely to encounter a time when the passion dies down.

However, it’s not something you should completely live without either.

Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable.

But, by breaking out of your comfort zone every so often, you’ll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.

It’s important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together with your partner.

Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in finding ways to bring them out again.

Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationships:

1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy?

Make these efforts again!

It’ll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.

It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little “above and beyond” treatment!

2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your partner did something for you, and it’s important to let your partner know of your gratitude, too.

You can do this through better communication and positive actions.

Many times a simple, “Thank you for…” statement will let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

3. Be considerate. Sometimes your partner is the only one who will allow you to be blunt and abrupt.

It’s important to vent, but remember to act considerate around your partner as much as you can.

4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort to have alone time together.

It’s still important to make dates with each other and do things you’ve never done before.

5. Show affection. There are certainly ways to show your affection for your partner beyond bedroom activities.

Show your love for each other with gentle touches and hugs.

Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.

6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure.

You and your partner may even find different things adventurous.

Do some of these activities together.

Engaging in exhilarating activities can certainly ignite the passion.

7. Enjoy your own alone time. On the other side of the coin, it’s a good idea to spend time away from your partner as well.

Everyone needs space at times.

Also, time apart can build up the anticipation for some of the things you may have planned with your partner.

8. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future plans.

Things may not always go according to plan, but it’s good to talk about your dreams and goals.

While it’s fun to discuss what things were like at the beginning of your relationship, it’s also enjoyable to discuss where you think things are going.

9. Surprise! Surprise your partner with a gift.

It doesn’t have to be something expensive; in fact, you could even make it yourself.

Just explore some thoughtful ideas that will let your partner know that you care about them.

You’ll find passion in your relationship as long as you make an effort to break up the monotony.

Communicate well, spend time together, and explore new activities together.

When you do, you’ll discover the keys to a successful passionate relationship.

How passionate is your relationship right now?

What activities can bring passion back into your relationship?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 8, 2019March 27, 2018

How to Avoid Relationships that Sap Your Soul

It’s easy to get drawn into a negative relationship.

It may have started out seemingly perfect, but things seemed to change overnight.

It may be time to decide whether or not the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices.

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there.

However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid.

It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship.

Try taking these actions to avoid negative relationships:

1. Avoid falling back on the wrong person.

If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to fall back on someone that’s not right for you.

Deep down you know that this person is not “the one” and yet you come crawling back anyway trying to convince yourself that maybe the person can change.

Chances are, they won’t.

2. Spend time getting to know your partner.

Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship.

Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the beginning of the relationship.

This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly.

3. Learn your partner’s history.

Are there disturbing events in his or her past?

It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction.

If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.

4. Avoid manipulative people.

You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship.

If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in.

Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.

5. Make a checklist.

Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner.

Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike.

This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you.

Here’s a tip: avoid writing down superficial characteristics such as looks.

First and foremost, you must be attracted to his or her personality because the superficial things can and will change as you age.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature.

The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have any impact on your hope for the future.

There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice!

Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

How much do you love yourself?

How do you feel about the relationship you have now?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 9, 2019March 26, 2018

Attracting Positive Relationships Into Your Life

As we travel through our life’s journey, many relationships will come into our lives.

Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive?

Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite.

Wouldn’t you love to attract more positive relationships?

The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don’t occur overnight.

They take time to nurture and develop into something that’s long lasting.

To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don’t rush it.

You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2. Believe that you’re deserving of it.

Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself.

Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately.

Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.

Remember, positive attracts positive.

When you think positive thoughts, you’ll be rewarded with positive results.

You’ll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you’re giving off to others.

So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3. Be true to yourself and others. If you’re not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this.

Don’t try to be something that you’re not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well.

Show others your true self, including your flaws.

They’ll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.

Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality.

Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don’t take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life.

They may not be as numerous as you’d like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

By professing your gratitude genuinely, you’ll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you’re in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life.

Be honest with yourself and others.

Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.

As the old saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easily.”

Attracting positive relationships – and weeding out the negative ones – may not be an easy task, but it’ll make for a better and more fulfilling life.

How important are the relationships you have right now?

How are you showing these people they are valued?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 13, 2019February 28, 2018

Finding Your True Soul Mate

Imagine what it could be like if you found your soul mate: walking hand in hand with someone who understands your every thought and mood, perfect days melting into passionate nights, a true love that lasts forever!

Could this happen to you?

Yes, it can!

With a little effort, you can be on the road to finding that special person made just for you.

Many people seem to be under the assumption that their soul mate is suddenly going to fall out of the sky.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the way it works. If you’re yearning to find your soul mate, plan to be ready, prepared, and in the right place at the right time.

Here are some important things to keep in mind in your quest for your soul mate:

1. Figure out what you truly want.

When you’re looking for your one and only, you first need to discover what it is you want from the person you’re looking for, your relationship, and life as a whole.

It’s important to know what’s significant to you and the values you hold dear before you leap into a relationship.

If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you ever be able to find it?

This includes knowing yourself well enough to feel confident in your goals, values, and other ideas that are important to you.

Once you clarify your values to yourself, you’ll soon start to notice other people who have the same ideals.

2. Spend time in places your soul mate can be found.

When looking for that special person, be sure to spend time in places where you’re likely to find them.

If you’re involved in a particular hobby you’d like your soul mate to share, consider joining a class or club you’d enjoy.

If you love sports, get active in them.

You can also join your local recreation center and get active in the community.

If you enjoy the great outdoors, be sure you’re spending time walking, hiking, or camping.

3. Skip the nightclubs and bars.

Unless a bar is really where you want to find your soul mate, it’s probably not the best place to be looking for one.

People who spend time in bars and nightclubs aren’t typically looking for a soul mate.

Instead, they’re more likely interested in short-term relationships.

Commitment may not even be part of their vocabulary.

Bar patrons usually haven’t made a commitment to themselves regarding a relationship, let alone thought about someone to spend the rest of their life with!

While you may have the idea your soul mate will find you, it’s important to take action and start looking in the right places.

Sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming or Princess Lovely to knock on your door is not going to get you very far!

Know what you desire from a relationship first and foremost, then spend time getting active in your community doing the things you love to do.

After all, you just never know when that true love magically appears before your eyes!

What qualities are you looking for in a relationship?

What activities are you doing to help meet more people?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 9, 2019February 28, 2018

Five Ways to Nurture a Positive Relationship

A positive relationship can be one of the most wonderful things in the world, while a negative one can turn your life into a disaster!

Do you yearn to cultivate a positive relationship with your partner and help it grow stronger?

Having a positive relationship takes effort from both of you, but you can get it started.

Your partner will surely enjoy the benefits and follow your lead.

Here are five important techniques you can use to nurture your relationship:

1. Give 100%. First and foremost, if you want to build a relationship that’s positive, passionate, and withstanding, you need to give 100% of yourself.

This is one of the most important things for success, not only in your relationships, but life in general.

There’s no “50/50” when it comes to giving in a relationship.

You’ve got to give freely of yourself if it’s going to work. It’s almost impossible to receive from your partner if you don’t give in return.

Remember the golden rule.

When you fully give of yourself, the other person will see the effort you’re making and soon begin to reciprocate with the same type of behavior.

2. Focus on loving your partner. In nurturing a positive relationship, your main focus should be on simply loving your partner.

Show your love in both your words and actions, in all you say and do.

The expression “actions speak louder than words,” is definitely true when it comes to a relationship.

However, your partner still wants to hear you say, “I love you.”

Be generous with compliments and mean what you say.

3. Use charitable acts. The things you do for your partner make a difference in your relationship.

When you love someone, acts of kindness toward him or her come naturally.

No action should be done just because you feel obligated to do it. The things you do for your partner should be done because you want to do them.

Remember, your actions are more important than your words, so use them to help build up a relationship that’s naturally positive.

4. Respect your partner. Always respect your partner in every way to build a lasting and positive relationship with them.

Respect is an important building block of any relationship.

Respect your partner not only in a physical sense, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

5. Build a strong friendship. Your romantic relationship needs to have the stability and deep roots that come from a strong friendship.

With a meaningful friendship as its basis, your relationship becomes stronger and more lasting.

When you work hard to construct a strong friendship, you can be assured that your relationship is ready to weather whatever life may throw at you in the future.

If your goal is to create a stronger bond with your partner, take the time to think about what it is you’d like from your partner.

Give those things to your partner, and you’ll almost always find the answers you seek about how to create a nurturing relationship.

Following these five steps can have a positive impact on any relationship.

Once you begin taking care of your relationship and making a conscious effort to improve it, you’ll see a stronger, more positive bond flourishing before your eyes.

How important is your relationship with your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend?

What makes you fall in love with this person over and over again?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 31, 2019February 28, 2018

How to Find a Loving Relationship

Is finding a loving relationship on your mind?

Have you been disappointed in your search?

While it may seem like discovering the type of relationship you long for is beyond your reach, rest assured it’s not impossible.

There are many strategies you can use to help you in your quest for that special someone.

And once you find that extraordinary person who loves you for who you are, your relationship can carry you forward, together, toward your dreams and complete fulfillment!

Here are a few important tips to help you find the loving relationship you seek:

1. Know your own needs.

When looking for a long-term relationship, the first thing you need to do is clarify your own wants and needs.

After all, if you don’t know what you want, how will you recognize it when you find it?

Know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you absolutely don’t want.

Many people go out looking for a relationship with no clue what they really need or want in a companion.

When you’re able to figure out your own desires and know who you truly are, then you’re much more likely to find someone who fulfills those desires.

2. Be firm with your values.

It’s essential to stand up for the values you find important.

If your love interest has completely different core values, then you’re not going to be able to build a strong, loving, and lasting relationship.

You can still have a relationship with someone you disagree with on some issues.

However, the foundational values that you hold dear should be shared.

This could be your religious or political values, or whatever else is important to you.

3. Identify your goals.

What are your goals?

Where do you plan to be in five or ten years?

A relationship where both partners have very different goals will be difficult.

It’s important that you find someone with similar goals so you’re both heading in the same direction.

You want to come closer together as your relationship grows, not be torn apart by wildly differing goals.

For example, discuss important subjects such as children, career aspirations, and family life before jumping into a relationship.

4. Be true to yourself.

This is imperative if you want to find the loving relationship your heart longs for.

You should never settle for someone just because you want to be in a relationship.

Don’t allow your desire to have a loving relationship sell you short of what you really deserve.

If you’re not true to yourself, you’ll come to regret it later.

You may wake up one day and realize you’re not happy with your life, including the person you’re sharing it with.

5. Finding a loving relationship is possible – don’t let anyone, including yourself, try to tell you otherwise.

However, it’s important that you take the time to prepare yourself to attract your soul mate.

By following these tips, you’re putting yourself in a good position to spark a connection that will last for a lifetime.

It might take some time and effort to get to know yourself first, but the results will be worth it!

How important is the influence of love in your life?

When was the last time you fell in love?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 30, 2018February 16, 2018

I am a magnet in favor of rewarding relationships.

I attract worthy people and repel harmful relationships.

People of value are attracted to me because I value myself.

The people who join themselves to me are trustworthy.

I deserve to have rewarding relationships because I am a good person.

I model for others how to treat me by treating them the way I would like to be treated.

Great relationships don’t simply fall into my lap, I draw them to me.

Good relationships are not based on luck, but on hard work.

My relationships are healthy because I am diligent in establishing boundaries and maintaining them.

People know their limits around me.

People treat me with respect and integrity.

I admire my friends. They help me find my way through the maze of life.

They stick with me through thick and thin, and I benefit from my relationships with them.

When one of my friends steps out of my life, they leave wonderful memories.

Each day, I find another important reason to appreciate my friendships.

I constantly give thanks for the blessing of friendships.

I am a better person because of my relationships.

Whether the relationship is romantic, professional, family or simply a friendship, all of my relationships are rewarding.

My life is free from destructive or stagnant relationships.

I make people feel loved and appreciated.

In turn, they want to be around me and support me.

I am always treated with dignity because I expect nothing less.

What do others learn from watching how you treat yourself?

How do you treat others?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 26, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways to Move on in Your Love Life

You’ve been in your relationship for quite some time.

Things have changed recently, and you’re beginning to doubt that it’s going to last much longer.

You’re not even sure how you got to this point! What happened?

Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that a relationship is breaking down.

Think back over the last few months and you may recognize some of these signs:

1. Unnecessary criticism. Your partner blames you or attacks your character.

2. Contempt. Nearly everything your partner says is a complaint or an insult.

3. Avoidance. Your partner has begun ignoring or avoiding you.

4. Being defensive. You don’t listen to what your partner says for fear of being hurt or them lashing out at you again.

Two or more of these warning signs could signal that it’s time to move on, but how do you do that?

Moving On

First, realize that the end of any relationship is similar to dealing with a loss of a loved one.

You may go through the grieving process: denial, anger, ambivalence, depression, and recovery. This is normal and to be expected.

Give yourself some time to grieve and you’ll come out a stronger person on the other side.

Here are the top ten ways to move on in your love life after the end of a relationship:

1. Recognize and accept that the relationship is over. Don’t hold on when there’s nothing to hold on to.

2. Remove everything in your home that reminds you of them. Don’t keep sentimental items; they’ll only make you miserable.

Put away valuable items such as jewelry or other gifts rather than throwing them away. You may want those items in the future.

3. If seeing your ex hurts, make it a point to avoid them. Sometime in the future you may be able to be friends, but now is not the time to try.

4. Don’t make financial decisions right after a break up. Your emotions may cause you to make emotional decisions.

It’s better to wait until you’re on emotionally stable footing.

5. Avoid rebound relationships. Give yourself time to heal from being hurt before opening your heart again.

6. Focus on yourself. You may have spent so much time investing in the other person that you’ve let your own needs go.

Learn to find out about yourself again.

What do you like to do that you haven’t been doing?

Do something special just for you!

7. Take up a new hobby. Now is a great time to start something new.

Renew your interests in hobbies that you like, and spend time exploring new creative outlets.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn rock climbing, but your ex was afraid of heights.

There’s no reason to wait any longer. Go find an instructor and hit that mountain!

8. Don’t stay cooped up at home. It’s important that you spend time with friends who can encourage you and help you feel good about yourself.

9. Be friendly with people you find attractive. Smile, say hello, and act interested.

You may not be ready to jump right back into a relationship, but you can always leave the door open for future relationships.

10. Work your way back to dating slowly. You may want to start out by double dating with a friend.

Be up front with your date so they know what to expect.

Breaking up from a long-term relationship is never easy. Let’s admit it, it hurts.

You can move on in your love life after a break up if you recognize the end, and then follow the ten steps given above.

Soon you’ll find that you’re over your last relationship and ready for someone new.

Why do relationships end?

How can you learn from a relationship that has passed?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 25, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways of Finding Closure in Your Relationship

As the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.”

Finding closure after the end of a relationship is often harder.

“Closure” is a psychological term that simply means closing the door on something or someone.

Closure means you leave the past in the past rather than dragging it out into the present again.

In relationships, this means learning how to let go of that relationship and move on to another, possibly better, relationship.

There are many ways to find closure.

In fact, how you find closure will depend entirely upon your personality and particular situation.

Here are the top ten ways to find closure after a relationship ends:

1. Declare out loud to a close friend that you accept that the relationship is over.

Choose someone who will support you and help you stay focused on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.

2. Call the person you’re letting go and release them.

Acknowledge that you still have feelings for them, the relationship isn’t healthy, and they’re free.

If it’s too painful to talk with them, write them a note.

3. Refocus on yourself.

You may have let your own interests slide while you were involved with your prior relationship.

Now’s the time to shift your focus back to yourself and what you want to do.

4. Find a new hobby or activity to replace the time with your ex.

If you always went out on Friday nights, invite some friends over, instead, and watch movies.

Or you could volunteer for a worthwhile charity.

5. When you start thinking about your ex, call a friend to bolster your resolve.

Ask them to restate your reasons for letting them go.

6. Create a mantra or saying that helps you refocus.

Keep telling yourself this mantra and before too long you’ll start believing it.

You’ll also start acting differently as well.

“I am strong and I am over them” could be all you need to say, but it may be something more detailed like “I’m a wonderful person who is worthy of love, respect and happiness.”

7. Remove things that remind you of your ex.

At some point in the future you’ll be strong enough to look at these things with fondness rather than being tugged back to the past.

Take them off your speed dial.

Remove photos of the two of you.

Box up gifts they gave you.

8. Take care of yourself.

Eat better, take up a new exercise, and get plenty of rest.

Hydration is important, too, so be sure you drink plenty of water.

9. If you’re feeling particularly sad over the break up, don’t hold it in.

It’s natural for you to feel upset about the end of the relationship.

Go ahead and cry.

You may even want to write in a journal how you feel so you can get the feelings out rather than holding them in.

10. Try to figure out what went wrong in the relationship.

Reflect on this after you’ve distanced yourself from it for a while.

If there were things you did that could’ve damaged the relationship, admit them.

Try to determine the red flags that signaled the relationship was ending.

Decide to avoid similar mistakes in future relationships.

If you didn’t want the relationship to end, you may be tempted to leave the door open hoping to rekindle that lost love.

It may be difficult to find closure, but the emotional price of holding out hope can be costly.

For your own health and peace of mind, learn to let the relationship end.

Let go of the past, close the door, and walk into a better future.

How can closure bring peace and happiness in your life?

How do you move on from one relationship to another?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 16, 2018February 15, 2018

Learning the Value of Sacrifices: Why It’s Important to Make Sacrifices in Relationships

When you love someone and you have their best interest at heart, you may be willing to sacrifice some of what you want in order to give your loved one what they want.

It’s common for spouses to make sacrifices for one another and parents to sacrifice for their children.

It’s important to learn the value of sacrifices even though they may not be pleasant.

Many experts feel that the willingness to set aside one’s own desires for the benefit of another is a good thing.

It shows true love and commitment when you can put your partner’s needs ahead of your own desires.

Your Attitude Toward Sacrifices

Some women feel they’ve made too many sacrifices for their partners.

They may have given up their dream to hold a certain job or put off going to school.

At first the sacrifice may have been for the partner’s benefit, but then came children.

The sacrifices continued until the dream they once had merely faded away.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Was the woman the only one who made sacrifices for the relationship and the family?

Is she using her choices as excuses for not pursuing dreams when she could’ve still done so?

How you view sacrifice is what matters!

You can see the sacrifices you make as a choice for what really matters, rather than something that you have to give up.

If you’re committed to your relationship, it’s possible you won’t even see your willingness to give something up for your partner’s benefit as a sacrifice at all!

Make Good Choices in Your Sacrifices

You want to be sure, however, that you make sacrifices for good reasons and that your partner also sacrifices for you.

Marriages and partnerships are supposed to be for the benefit of both partners. Therefore, sacrifices must go both ways.

It’s important that you never feel like you’re forced to make a sacrifice. It must be something that you do willingly, with no regrets.

In addition, your sacrifices should never compromise your morals or personal values.

These types of sacrifices will most certainly leave you with regret and feelings of guilt.

Unfortunately, the partner who would ask you to compromise your values may not the best partner for you.

Values such as these should never be compromised for someone else:

1. Honesty. If you feel you’re being asked to sacrifice honesty to help a loved one out, explain why this is a sacrifice you cannot make.

2. Loyalty. Loyalty is part of who you are, deep on the inside, and giving that up would mean giving up a part of yourself.

Agreeing to do so would only sour the relationship further down the road.

3. Faithfulness. What do you do if you find out your partner has cheated?

If fidelity is a value you hold dear, it’s unlikely the relationship will survive.

It’s possible, however, to learn to forgive, but it may be more difficult to learn to trust again.

Any relationship you enter into is going to require some give and take by each partner.

Be willing to sacrifice, choose wisely in your sacrifices, and your relationship will thrive!

When was the last time you had to sacrifice something for your relationship?

How did it make your relationship stronger?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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