relationships – Page 2 – Personal Growth Cafe

October 4, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner

Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t understand you?

Has there been a change in your communication level in recent months?

If you’ve been experiencing either of these problems, it may help to know you’re not alone.

In fact, lack of communication between partners is often one of the top reasons for breakups.

There is hope, however. You can learn how to communicate effectively with your partner!

Most people don’t have any idea what it takes to have effective communication.

Even though you’ve been talking your whole life, have you really been communicating?

There’s so much more to communication that merely talking.

Effective communication includes non-verbal cues like eye contact, body language, and tone of voice, as well as the words you choose.

Communication also includes being able to listen and actually hear what your partner is saying.

If you’d like to communicate better with your partner, here are some ideas that can help:

Discuss problems appropriately.

If arguing is a problem for you and your partner, you can turn the arguments into meaningful discussions with the right techniques.

When you need to discuss an issue, set the right stage for effective communication by choosing a time when both of you are calm and in a good mood.

Instead of both of you talking at the same time, only one person should be allowed to talk at a time.

While one person is talking, the other person should concentrate on listening and hearing what’s actually being said.

When the first person finishes what they want to say, the other can then express their views about the situation.

Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and concerns rather than putting them down for how they feel.

Avoid accusations.

Blaming or accusing may also be an issue you have with your partner.

You can both help alleviate this problem by using “I” messages rather than “you”

Starting a statement with “You always” will accomplish one thing and one thing only: you, your partner, or both of you will immediately become defensive.

Use “I feel” or “I think” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner for doing, or not doing, something you thought they should.

Here’s an example: Instead of saying “You’re never home in time for dinner,” you could say, “I feel upset about having spent time preparing a meal and having to share in it alone.”

In this way, your partner knows how you feel but they haven’t been personally attacked.

Listen effectively. You may feel like your partner doesn’t listen.

There’s a method of communicating called active listening in which one person talks and then the other paraphrases what was said.

After listening to the first partner, the second partner asks, “Did I understand you correctly?” and then paraphrases what they just heard.

Listening to each other might not even be the problem.

It might be that one or both of you haven’t actually understood what the other has said.

Active listening will clarify your comprehension.

Focus on one topic at a time.

Try to stick to one subject until the issue has been resolved or you agree to take a break from it.

Some couples start out talking about which type of dog to get and end up arguing about where to send their children to college.

This can help you make decisions and reduce the amount of stress you may both feel while you’re talking.

Effective communication with your partner is of the utmost importance if you want your relationship to last.

You want to know that your partner hears you, understands you, and is there for you.

They need to be able to convey to you their hopes and dreams as well as their concerns.

If you take the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner by following these ideas, you’ll enjoy greater happiness and success in your relationship.

What was the most memorable conversation you last had with your partner about?

How did it make you feel?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 2, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner

Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship.

In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.

If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.

Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe.

They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others.

They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.

For Couples in a Long Term Relationship

What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?

The answers may surprise you:

1. Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities.

Learn how to be a good listener.

This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency.

Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.

2. Use “I” statements rather than “you”

Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.

“You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack.

This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.

3. Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people.

It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you.

Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.

If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.

4. Don’t go to bed angry.

This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.

Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship.

This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.

For Couples Just Starting To Date

You can do a lot to build a trusting relationship when you first begin dating.

These tips will help:

1. Make dates and arrive on time.

If you have to arrive later than planned, call your partner to let them know you’ll be late.

This helps your partner learn that you’re true to your word.

2. If you’ve promised to do something, follow through with it.

Of course, there may be circumstances that keep you from following through.

Be sure to call your partner if something happens so they’ll be aware of the change in plans.

3. Men, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside.

One way to earn the trust of women is to express your feelings.

Being open and transparent is a better choice and will help establish and build your partner’s trust in you.

There are some things you may want to keep to yourself.

For example, if you see someone attractive walking down the street, you may not want to tell your partner.

In fact, the better course of action would be to keep your eyes on your partner and pay special attention to what they’re saying.

Trust is so important in relationships.

Use the ideas above to work at building trust between you and your partner.

It takes time to build and maintain a trusting relationship, but the benefits are more than worth it!

When was the last time you went on a date with your husband?

What is the most worthwhile activity you do as a couple?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 1, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

New babies are our pride and joy. Then they grow up.

Your relationship with your kids will change and develop as they mature.

It’s important to build a trusting relationship with your kids while they’re young and nurture it carefully as they grow.

Trust is a major building block when it comes to the parent-child relationship.

This is especially true as your children age and become teenagers.

You want to know that the trust you have in them isn’t misplaced, but you want them to know that they can trust you as well.

Trust is broken when one person in a relationship doesn’t act in the way the other thinks they should.

This could be a teenager who sneaks out at night to go to a party.

It could just as easily be a parent who stops coming to a teen’s sporting events for no apparent reason.

In either case, trust is broken because of a difference in expectations.

Children want to trust their parents.

However, parents still need to earn their children’s trust.

To do this, you must treat your child with respect, follow through on promises, and enforce household rules.

Your child needs to know that you’ll always speak truthfully to them and be reliable.

Trust is a two-way street.

Children and teenagers need to show their parents that they’re trustworthy by following their parents’ rules.

This goes back to acting as expected, which is the basis for trust and respect.

Here are some action steps you can take to build a trusting relationship with your kids:

1. Stress the fact that you’ll love them, no matter what.

Children and teens need to know that they have your unconditional love.

Go ahead and tell them, “No matter what you do, I’ll always love you. That will never change. I may not like what you do, and there may be consequences for those actions, but my love for you will never change.”

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

Ask open-ended questions so you can learn to understand each other’s perspective.

You may want to have a family meeting where you discuss the family’s rules and boundaries as well as the consequences of overstepping them.

3. Explain the benefits of having your trust.

Give them concrete reasons why being trustworthy is to their advantage.

For example, your child may ask to spend the night at a friend’s house.

If they maintain a trusting relationship with you, you may be more willing to allow that privilege.

4. Provide a road map for success.

How will they know if they’re meeting your expectations if you never tell them what they are?

Explain to them that skipping homework, talking back, snotty attitudes, and slamming doors will erode your trust.

However, finishing chores, doing their homework, speaking to you with respect and calling in to ask you about a change in plans will go a long way to building trust.

5. Give your child positive reinforcement when they do something right.

Show your appreciation for completing chores on time or doing more than expected.

Reward them with an extra half-hour of fun when they’re out because they’ve shown you that they can be trusted.

Trust is so important between a parent and child.

These hints can teach you how to build a trusting relationship with your child, but the work is still up to you.

Keep talking to your kids, expect the best from them, and you may find that they rise above your expectations.

How often do you spend time with your kids?

How can you develop a trusting relationship with them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 30, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship

When you’re just starting in a new relationship, you have so much to talk about!

You may find that you share many of the same hopes and dreams for the future.

As the relationship grows, you want to be sure you’re building a rock-solid foundation on which to base your relationship.

Having that solid foundation will help your relationship weather the storms of life and bring you joy together.

In the past it wasn’t unusual for couples to stay married to the same person for their entire adult life.

It was expected that you would only have one spouse unless death took them away.

It was also expected that couples would buy a home and remain in that community to raise their children.

Commitment and community stability were two of the mainstays of the solid foundation marriages were built upon.

Modern Marriages

In today’s global economy, you’re no longer expected to stay in your same community your entire life.

You may, instead, travel the country or the world during your professional career.

However, you can still have a committed marriage that grows stronger as the years pass.

Unfortunately though, it seems that people today are afraid of true commitment.

Instead of entering a marriage with the intention to stick around no matter what, many people go into marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.”

Having that idea, even if it’s not a conscious thought, makes leaving much easier when the going gets tough.

The road to a committed marriage with a rock-solid foundation is a journey based upon a familiar road map.

A couple must decide if they’re willing to make the journey together regardless of where the road may lead.

Here are the normal stops along the way:

1. Romantic love is the easiest form of love.

In fact, it’s nearly effortless. This love truly is blind.

Each person believes the other is perfect and that their love can withstand any stresses that may come.

This period generally lasts about two years but can change as early as six months.

After the blinders come off, the couple begins to realize their beloved isn’t as perfect as they thought.

There may also be a small hiccup in their relationship as adjustments are made. This is where the real relationship begins.

A power struggle usually ensues after each partner realizes they must adjust some of their dreams for reality.

At this point one or both may decide to leave the relationship.

However, if they can stand together during this time, the relationship has a good chance of beating the odds.

This is a crucial time of learning to solve problems, negotiating to get what they want, and resolving conflicts.

2. Re-evaluation.

Next comes a point where each one re-evaluates their relationship.

They turn to friends and family to get confirmation that they weren’t foolish after all.

An affair is more likely now than at nearly any other point of a relationship.

They must hold fast to their commitment and re-learn who they are as individuals.

3. Together again.

There is a drawing together again from this point.

They may still have conflicts and differences, but each one is more giving and forgiving where needed.

They’ve weathered some storms and are ready for the next stop.

This is the end of the road for building a rock-solid foundation.

They’ve learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner.

No one expects the other to meet their every need, and there is a balance of being individuals as well as a couple.

They can now meet any storm head on and come out standing together with the foundation intact.

From this point forward, their love and commitment only grows stronger.

On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there needs to be trust, conscious attention to your partner, and mutual respect.

With these building blocks placed upon a solid foundation, your relationship will always be strong.

Remember this road map in your journey with your loved one, build a rock-solid foundation, and enjoy true love for life.

How important is your spouse to you?

What can you do to make him/her feel your love?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 30, 2018February 1, 2018

I inspire my spouse to dream.

September 14, 2018January 31, 2018

I allow love to transform my relationships.

April 15, 2018January 7, 2018

My spouse and I are unstoppable together.

We are unstoppable because we complement each other.

When one of us is weak, the strength of the other carries us through.

We are a force to be reckoned with when we unite for a goal.

We brainstorm together, execute together, and no matter what the outcome, we celebrate together.

Even above our children, we are each other’s top priority because the best gift we can give our children is a healthy set of loving parents.

When we put each other first, all other things fall into place like the pieces of a puzzle.

My spouse and I set realistic goals based on our abilities.

Our relationship is free from the pressure of comparison.

We believe in the amazing potential stored within each other.

Laughter is a vital part of our relationship; it carries us through difficult times.

Keeping the big picture in mind helps us to laugh, instead of sweating the small stuff.

The comfort of my spouse’s hug is all I need to get myself back on my feet after a difficult situation.

Our love is an invigorating force against fear and worry; it gives me new strength when I feel alone.

My spouse and I seek every opportunity to encourage each other through words and actions.

Our marriage is free from the destructive effects of negative criticism.

We forgive each other quickly and communicate openly about all issues.

Today, I reflect on the countless traits I love about my mate and I choose to say, “I love you” in a special way to give thanks for their unconditional love.

What are your partner’s strengths?

How can you inject more laughter into your marriage?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 26, 2018January 5, 2018

Eight Tips to Create a More Loving Relationship

Your relationship with your partner has the potential to be the most fulfilling experience in your life.

However, there are snags that can happen at every step of the way.

No one ever said that relationships were easy!

The good news is that if you stay proactive, you can foster a loving relationship no matter how many weeks or years you’ve been together.

When you create a more loving relationship, you make both you and your partner happy. You won’t find much better than that!

Here are some tips for creating a more loving relationship:

1. Show your gratitude. If you love your partner very much, than you’re obviously grateful for them.

However, you need to learn to express your inner feelings.

Your partner needs to know that you’re grateful. It shouldn’t be something that goes unsaid.

You can show gratitude by being more open in your conversations or by taking loving actions by buying gifts or suggesting ideas for quality time.

Also, remember the words: “Thank you!”

2. Incorporate more fun into the relationship.

You two may have separate ideas of what fun is, but try doing things together that you both enjoy.

It doesn’t have to be anything big and extravagant, just try to find something simple, yet exciting.

The key is to do something where you both won’t know exactly what to expect.

This adds that “special spice” to the relationship and helps stave off boredom.

3. Go out of your way. Yes, going out of your way for your partner may take some extra work, but it’ll be worth it!

Decide to make a grand gesture for your partner.

Do this out of the blue and your partner will really see that you care.

For example, you could throw them a party or take care of something that you know they don’t like doing.

4. Do activities they want to do. By making the sacrifice to do something you’re not all that interested in, it’ll make your partner feel loved and honored.

Of course, there’ll be interests you share, but make it a point to join in for an activity they really enjoy more than you do.

If your partner has always wanted to go ballroom dancing with you, perhaps it’s time to bite the bullet and go through with it.

5. Keep their needs in mind. As the years go by, it’s so easy to fall into patterns and restricted comfort zones, but you mustn’t forget about your partner’s needs.

If they enjoy an extra hug every once in awhile, go give them a hug.

If they like to talk about feelings and plans, sit with them and talk.

6. Say: “I love you” regularly. It seems that you can never say these three simple words enough.

Say it, text it, email it, record it, show it.

Do what you have to just to remind your partner of your true feelings.

This little phrase actually helps communication, lightens the mood, and fosters a more loving relationship for many years to come.

7. Listen actively. While it’s important to express your own feelings, it’s also critical that you truly listen to your partner’s feelings.

When you actively listen, you’ll begin to understand your partner in a new, deeper way.

They’ll also feel loved because they’ll see you being attentive and they’ll feel like their thoughts and feelings matter.

8. Support their ideas. When you agree with your partner’s ideas, make sure that you fully support them in both words and actions.

This feeling of support will help your partner feel loved.

When you don’t agree with your partner, it’s still important to remain loving.

Don’t shoot down your partner’s ideas or become overly critical.

Accept what they’re saying and suggest alternative ideas if needed.

Follow these tips, encourage your partner to do the same, and you can’t help but have a more joyous, loving relationship!

How can a loving relationship be a source of greater joy?

What will you do for you partner today?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 14, 2018January 5, 2018

It feels good to be open and honest with loved ones.

Opening my heart and emotions to those who are close to me gives me a warm feeling.

I nourish my soul when I share it with my loved ones.

I know my feelings and thoughts are safe with them, and I can be completely honest and open with them.

By sharing in this way, I am made stronger and feel loved and appreciated.

I enjoy the feeling of community and the strength that comes with sharing myself with others.

When I am able to share my feelings and thoughts openly and honestly, I am also better able to receive open and honest dialog from my loved ones.

When others trust me wholeheartedly, I am honored to feel worthy of their trust.

I respect their needs and offer open and honest guidance.

Building this trust is essential. I am proud to be trusted and worthy of trust.

Today I will open my heart and share openly and honestly with others.

I will also open my heart to receive open and honest communication from others.

I will lend my ear and my heart and I will be a part of a giving and loving community.

How have you been open and honest with those you love?

How have you opened yourself to receive open and honest communication from others?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 5, 2018January 5, 2018

Tag: relationships

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship

I inspire my spouse to dream.

I allow love to transform my relationships.

My spouse and I are unstoppable together.

Eight Tips to Create a More Loving Relationship

It feels good to be open and honest with loved ones.

I work each day to strengthen my relationships.