self-esteem – Personal Growth Cafe

September 28, 2019March 27, 2018

Keeping Your Self-Esteem after a Job Loss

If you’ve lost your job, there’s no denying that it can be a devastating ordeal.

It can be a real burden, especially when your whole family depended on that job and the income it provided.

However, you can find the strength to recover from a tragic job loss.

Sometimes it’s difficult to find the silver lining, but it’s always there waiting to be discovered.

Focusing On Your Self-Esteem

Your thoughts are very powerful. Sometimes you may think that you don’t have control over your thoughts, but you always do.

Of course you should give yourself time to recover from the initial shock of a job loss, but it’s how you choose to react afterwards that makes all the difference.

When you focus on developing positive self-esteem, you’ll be able to think clearly and confidently so you can figure out what your next steps are going to be.

You may even use this new opportunity to finally follow your dream job.

Have these tips in mind to keep your self-esteem intact:

1. Give yourself time to grieve.

Sometimes you don’t think of job loss as being the same as other types of loss, but the shock can be the same and you should allow yourself some time to go through the standard stages of grief.

You’ll eventually recover from the shock, but give yourself an appropriate amount of time to absorb the situation.

2. Look for a support system. You might feel especially alone after losing your job.

Your initial reaction might be to run and hide and keep your emotions inside.

Be sure to fight this feeling and, instead, rely on your support system.

Remember: it’s okay to ask for help, that’s what your support network is for!

3. Keep up your motivation. After the shock has worn off, it’s important to strive for a certain level of enthusiasm and motivation to find another job.

You need to believe in yourself and trust that things will turn out for the best.

Remember that your new job might be even better than your last one!

4. Looking for a new job. When you’re ready to start the search, consider all of your options.

You may want to consider whether or not you really enjoyed the field you were in before.

Consider your job loss as a new opportunity.

Maybe you’d like to try bringing your life into a different direction.

5. Keep an eye on your finances. When you deal with job loss, you must also deal with the financial realities.

Determine your current financial situation and how long you have until you must return to work.

Maybe you have to find a job right away, or perhaps you have enough savings to consider other career options.

Whatever the case may be, you should know what the financial implications mean to you and your family.

New Life: New Opportunities

After dealing with job loss, the best thing you can do is to think of it as a new opportunity in life.

Sure, you didn’t choose to embark on this path at this particular time, but it’s important to roll with the punches.

Don’t be afraid to take risks.

Also, don’t be afraid to adopt the attitude that everything happens for a reason.

Bad things happen in life, but good things happen too.

Stay strong for yourself and your family and your self-esteem will prevail.

How do you remain strong in spite of conflicts in life?

How can you push yourself to move forward and just learn from everything that happens?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 28, 2019March 27, 2018

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. – Maxwell Maltz

August 19, 2019March 26, 2018

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem During Difficult Times

Attempting to boost your self-esteem during normal times is hard enough, but what happens when you’re dealing with a difficult period in your life?

Stressful issues like job loss, broken relationships, or sickness can lower our self-esteem.

We tend to take the blame and feel that, if we were “better,” these things wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

When thinking rationally, we may realize that this is untrue, but it’s harder during times of struggle to feel good about ourselves!

Here are some simple strategies you can use to give your self-esteem a boost during trying times:

1. Focus on the positive. Yes, negative things can happen in your life, but this must not be your only focus.

As I’m sure you’ve heard before: “Things could be worse.”

Try to turn your attention onto what you have that is good.

Whether it’s wonderful children, a terrific spouse, or a roof over your head, focus on what is positive and special in your life.

Not only will this make you feel better about your current situation, but you’ll also realize that these good things would not have been possible without you.

It’s time to understand that you are a positive influence in the lives of many.

Realistically, everyone has to deal with difficult times as a part of growing and maturing.

Try to remember that “this too shall pass” and keep your chin up.

2. Take time for you. With all that’s happening in your life right now, you’re under a lot of stress.

This obviously isn’t helping your feelings of low self-esteem.

More than likely, you’re not taking any time out for the most important person in your life: you.

Allow some time to relax and regroup.

It will do wonders for your mindset!

Make the time to do something that you thoroughly enjoy doing.

It can be alone or with family or a trusted friend – whatever relaxes you the most.

Read a book, take a bubble bath, make some cookies, or dance around the house to your favorite music.

Anything that can relieve some of that stress you’re feeling will make a big difference.

3. Believe that things will get better.

The power of the mind is amazing.

If you’re in a situation that you truly believe is hopeless, your chances of changing that situation worsen greatly.

If you believe things can and will get better, your chances of improving the situation are greatest.

Knowing that things will improve will also help you feel more confident about yourself.

You’ll feel more positive heading into the right direction, and your self-esteem will increase.

Life sometimes presents us with difficult situations that we’re not prepared to deal with.

During these times, consciously redirect your feelings away from the negative and towards the positive.

Your self-esteem will be strengthened, along with your belief of a better outcome.

When you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, things don’t seem as dark.

Use these tips to find your light and feel better.

What unnecessary weight are you carrying?

How do you deal with thoughts of uncertainty?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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April 22, 2019March 13, 2018

How to Boost Your Teen’s Self-Esteem

Teens are stuck in an in-between world.

They’re neither children nor adults.

They’re adjusting to both physical and mental changes, including emotional extremes caused by additional activity in the part of the brain that regulates emotions.

Needless to say, for many teens, this is a confusing time!

Along with the normal confusion, teens often suffer from low self-esteem and peer pressure.

Females are more prone to self-esteem issues and often get more attention for the problem, but males are just as susceptible.

In fact, any teen is vulnerable to self-esteem challenges.

As parents and involved adults, it’s our responsibility to help teens foster a healthy self-esteem.

It’s an ongoing process and there are no shortcuts.

Teens need to be constantly reminded that they’re great kids and we’re proud of them.

Follow these strategies every day to boost your teen’s self-esteem:

1. Take the time to talk with your teen.

While your teen may not want to talk to you, make sure they know you’re available if they change their mind.

Sometimes just knowing you’re there for them makes a difference.

Part of talking with a teen is actively listening.

Teens with self-esteem issues often feel that no one listens to them or cares about what they have to say.

Show them you’re listening by letting them finish and then asking questions about what they said.

2. Encourage your teen to live a healthy lifestyle.

Many times problems can manifest when teens are couch potatoes or have unhealthy eating habits.

When a teen eats a well balanced diet and gets a regular amount of exercise, it’s easier for them to feel better about themselves.

Schedule your teen for a full check-up with your doctor.

Your primary health care provider can rule out any physical causes for your teen’s low self-esteem.

They may also recommend additional steps or counseling that can help.

3. Encourage your teen to get involved in an activity they enjoy.

It could be any activity, club, or organization.

Getting them involved in something will help them realize they’re more normal than they think!

Encourage their individuality and interests by letting them pick the activity.

Give them the freedom to express themselves by getting involved in their own interests and passions.

4. Set a positive example for your teen.

No matter how distant your teen may seem, they still model your behaviors closely.

If they see you have a self-esteem issue, they may mimic that. Set an example with a positive attitude towards yourself and others.

5. Help your teen set goals and celebrate when they reach them.

Start with small goals that they can achieve in a short period of time.

When they reach the goal, celebrate with them.

If it takes longer to reach their goal, keep encouraging them.

Show them that taking definitive action to achieve their goal is just as important as reaching the goal.

Let your teen know that it’s okay to change their goal along the way.

This is the way of life and an important skill teens need to learn.

When circumstances change, we may need to re-adjust our plans.

If your teen understands this, it will help build their confidence.

6. Let your teen know you’re proud of them.

When they score an A, tell them how great they did. If they got a C, it’s just as important that your teen knows you’re proud of that grade as well.

Encourage them to do their best and be proud of them when they do.

A teen’s self-esteem can be fragile.

All the time you spend building your teen’s self-esteem can be torn down in one afternoon.

7. Teach your teen that learning to deal with disappointment, criticism, and challenges is an important life skill.

Talk to your teen about how important it is to know they’re still a great person worthy of love and affection, no matter what life may throw their way.

As with anyone, teens will have good and bad days.

Never be discouraged or give up on them.

Follow these strategies and soon enough, you’ll know that you’re on the right path.

Your teen will go through mood swings, but with time and love, they’ll emerge as a strong and confident adult.

What activities can you and your teen do to help boost your teen’s self esteem?

How can sharing your own experiences help your teen think positively?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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February 21, 2019March 11, 2018

Top Seven Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Everyone needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a successful, contented life.

While some people look to others and their material success to gauge their own self-worth, the most important assessment is how you feel about yourself.

There are many things you can do to boost your own self-esteem.

By taking the steps to build your own self-worth and well-being, you’re practicing the best form of preventative medicine possible.

Here are the top seven ways to boost your self-esteem:

1. Do things you love.

The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel.

Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemical in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we’ve done them, and those memories increase our self-esteem.

Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

2. Strengthen your strengths.

When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self-esteem rises as well.

We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next.

When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you’ll be charged from their energy.

4. Measure your worth based on yourself, not on others.

Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances.

When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it’s a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they’re attacking.

Basing your self-esteem on another person’s opinions is never a good idea.

Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

5. Believe in yourself. Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish.

When you believe that you’re capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

6. Set your thoughts on the things you want to attract.

Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy.

Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

7. Speak affirming thoughts to yourself.

We’ve all heard the phrase “act as if.” Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” say, “I am a happy person.”

Say it out loud everyday.

You’ll begin to reprogram your subconscious to believe it as the truth, and soon you’ll be feeling that truth every day.

These simple steps to boost your self-esteem are easy to put into practice in your day-to-day life.

Start today and build your self-worth and self-esteem into the foundation of your character. Your life will never be the same.

What do you like about yourself?

How do you show yourself that you are a worthy person?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 27, 2018February 19, 2018

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. – Maxwell Maltz

October 24, 2017

Build Your Self-Esteem By Conquering Challenges

Do you feel as though you’re in a rut? Does nothing feel engaging or entertaining? When you want to make sure you’re still in the right direction and you don’t want to settle for a mundane life, you’ll discover that you need to start challenging yourself.

When you take on a challenge head first, you’re forcing yourself to grow. When your self-esteem needs a boost, challenging yourself can help you see yourself in a new light.

What Kind of Challenges Should I Pursue?

No matter what type of challenge you undertake, don’t assume you’re going to get started on it “sometime soon.” Think about what steps you need to take to get there today.

Whether it involves making some phone calls or getting some certifications, make some time to get it done as soon as possible.

If you have the desire to start a new career, call a career counselor for guidance or the local university for class schedules.
If you challenge yourself to achieve better health, call a nutritionist or the local gym for rates and advice.
If you always wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument, call the music store to inquire about lessons or rental fees.

Don’t delay when something is this important, but remember that moving slowly is much better than not moving at all.

When you want to make sure you’re achieving the results that you deserve, you’ll discover that choosing to move at all is a big step.

Practice Setting Goals and Holding Yourself Accountable

Another way you can start conquering small challenges is by setting some achievable goals. For instance, say you want to improve your writing skills.

Then set yourself a goal to write at least a paragraph a day. It’s a simple, realistic goal that will help you improve your skills.

It’s very likely that you will become more productive when you have a limited amount of time to accomplish your simple challenge.

So if you only have 15 minutes to concentrate on your challenge, then make the best use of it and simply focus your energy on making it the most productive 15 minutes of your day.

Measure Your Progress Regularly

In order to build your self-esteem, you regularly need to see how far you’ve come. Make sure you keep track of your progress on a regular basis.

Keep a diary that lists all you’ve accomplished in the day.
Keep a list of all books you read last month.
Keep a weight journal to track how many pounds you’ve lost.

Over time, you’ll find that this is a great way to keep yourself moving forward. Looking at past progress is a great way to replicate your success, so keep note of how far you’ve come.

The Power of Numbers

If you’re struggling to challenge yourself, remember that you can get someone else to work with you. Do you have any goals that you and your loved ones share?

If so, take some time and see if you can encourage each other. This encouragement will help to build your self-esteem because you’ll see progress toward your goal.

We must always strive for constant self-improvement. In doing so, we’ll see just how capable and competent we really are!

How do you deal with the challenges that you encounter in life?

How can overcoming your challenges help you live better and happier?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 25, 2012July 4, 2012

Get Hoarding Tendencies Under Control

Reality TV shows have focused new attention on the issue of hoarding. Maybe you’re buried alive or maybe you just need to empty out that hall closet. Learn what psychiatrists now know about hoarding along with techniques to manage mild tendencies or intervene in more severe cases.

Understanding the Facts About Hoarding

1. Recognize hoarding as a mental health issue. The psychiatric criteria for compulsive hoarding are still being developed, but some facts are clear. The symptoms include a strong urge to acquire items and trouble with discarding them that interferes with daily life.

• Those who struggle with this dilemma may suffer from depression or attention deficit disorders, but sometimes they have no known history of mental illness.

2. Identify the underlying causes. Certain personality traits are characteristic of hoarding. You may be indecisive and try to avoid making mistakes by holding onto everything just in case. You may also be prone to procrastinating and have difficulty getting organized.

3. Know the risk factors. Anyone can become a hoarder but older women who are socially isolated are most at risk. Keep this in mind if you think you need to change your own life circumstances or if you’re caring for an aging parent or other relative.

4. Put yourself to the test. Compulsive hoarders may need professional intervention but there are also tests that can help you make an initial assessment. Search online for the Hoarding Rating Scale Interview. It has 5 simple questions with replies ranked from “no problem” to “extreme.”

Coping With Mild Hoarding Tendencies

1. Organize your valuables. Organization is a key distinction between being a collector and being a hoarder. Create an attractive display for your prized books or antique dolls so you can feel good about them and enjoy sharing them with others.

2. Stick to your budget. Buy only what you can afford. Look for bargains or save up in advance for major new purchases.

3. De-acquisition as needed. Every librarian or museum director appreciates the value of de-selection guidelines. Make your best stuff appear more attractive and accessible by getting rid of items in poor condition or objects of lesser quality.

Interventions for More Severe Hoarding

1. Contact the appropriate authorities for health and safety threats. Animal hoarding, fire hazards or nonworking utilities can pose urgent dangers. Call the board of health or animal control immediately for such emergencies.

2. Arrange for a professional evaluation. Talk with your family doctor or consider engaging a geriatric care manager. These professionals provide expert assistance to the elderly and their families to help them locate appropriate services and maximize the independence of elders. Most offer a free initial telephone consultation.

3. Find local therapists and resources. Seeing a therapist is an individual decision, but you can present options if you’re trying to help a loved one. Many patients improve thorough targeted behavioral therapies and home visits.

• Clutters Anonymous is a self help group with a 12 step program like Alcoholics Anonymous.

4. Enlist support. Caregivers and their loved ones benefit from building alliances. Ask your local council on aging about relevant programs in your community. Look into professional services like house cleaning agencies and storage centers. Ask friends and family to pitch in with removal tasks and providing more opportunities for socializing.

5. Remain compassionate and sensitive. Be respectful and nonjudgmental to avoid exacerbating any feelings of shame. Offer sincere praise as progress is made. It’s usually easiest to start out by focusing on tasks like sorting rather than throwing things away. Ask for permission before touching anything.

Those TV shows may be helping compulsive hoarders to get the assistance they need. Still, the solution usually extends much deeper than just tidying up the house. Recognize the warning signs for hoarding so you and the people you care about can restore order in your emotional lives and in your homes.

June 24, 2012July 3, 2012

6 Ways to Raise Your Partner’s Self-Esteem

Even though you may not think much about it, it always feels good when someone takes the time and makes the effort to help you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s a compliment, gesture, or facial expression, it feels great to know someone is considering your feelings.

Have you ever thought about making an effort to strengthen your partner’s self-esteem? It’s important to demonstrate your love and affection with actions that help increase your partner’s positive feelings about himself.

Try these strategies to raise your partner’s self-esteem:

1. Notice the little things your partner does for you. Does he always open doors for you or pull out your chair when dining out? Perhaps she consistently asks what you’d like to have for dinner.

• Say something like, “Wow, that was so nice” or “I really appreciate a beautiful woman cooking and serving a meal for me” to boost your partner’s feelings about herself.

2. Take delight in your partner’s presence. Even at the busiest, most hectic times, stop what you’re doing to acknowledge your partner’s presence. Greet each other with love and care. Your partner will feel great when you pay more attention to him than to anyone else in the room.

3. Compliment something they do well. Does she set the most beautiful table when guests are coming for dinner? Does he always clean your car inside and out, making it look like new? Compliment these gestures of love from your partner. After all, not everyone can do what he does as well as he does it. Let him know that.

4. Notice when he really enjoys doing a task or other activity. For example, say something like, “I can tell that you had a great time helping Jack paint his house today. And you did a fantastic job!” Your positive comments to your partner about what you notice about him serve to shore up some extra self-esteem.

• Plus, your remarks will cause your partner to reflect on what he was doing and recognize, “Hey, yeah, I really do enjoy doing that and I’m good at it! I’m going to make some plans to do it again soon.”

5. Show consistent support and confidence when your partner appears to be struggling with a particular issue. If your partner is trying to lose some weight, for example, and has been disappointed with the results, let her know you see her efforts and that you believe they’ll pay off.

• Comment, “Let’s take a 15 minute walk every day after work before dinner time” to demonstrate your strong support for her. She’ll feel cherished to know you’re there for her and that you understand what she’s going through. When she feels like she’s worth it and that you’ve got confidence in her, those feelings translate to self-esteem.

6. When your partner makes a change, be aware of it. Compliment the change.

• For example, if he shaves off his beard or tries a different style of clothing, make comments such as, “You look so young without your beard” or “That color of shirt complements the color of your eyes very nicely. I think we should get you some more clothes in that shade.”

One of the most important factors about being a partner is to always be there emotionally for the other person. Using strategies that raise your partner’s self-esteem will strengthen your relationship and deepen the love and respect you feel for each other.

Practice these strategies to raise your partner’s self-esteem. Your partner will appreciate you