tips – Personal Growth Cafe

October 23, 2019March 27, 2018

Seven Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Home

Does this picture describe your happy home?

The baby’s crying while you hurriedly put the fast food on the table, the dog is throwing up on the floor, the hubby’s got the TV on full-blast, and your teenager just angrily slammed the door on his way out.

Unfortunately, it’s a typical scene for many of us.

However, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

There are, in fact, things you can do to ease this stress and create a more harmonious environment so that you and your family can look forward to coming home!

Although some degree of stress is inherent as you deal with the varying phases of your family members, if you strive to uphold a core set of values and go with the flow, you can maintain a happy and healthy home.

Here are some specific ways you can reduce the stress at home:

1. Get organized. Life can quickly become chaotic when you don’t maintain organization.

An organized home runs smoothly, while an unorganized home leads to stress and lost time.

A good tip is to start small with your organization efforts.

Start with one room or even a portion of a room.

The idea is to think of it as a series of small projects instead of one overwhelmingly huge one.

2. Communicate. Your family will certainly benefit from actively working on communication skills.

When you fail to communicate effectively, you may not get what you want and can even cause upsetting misunderstandings.

Working on communication will allow all family members to feel loved and appreciated and help the household run efficiently.

3. Eat dinner together. Everyone in your family likely has a busy life of their own.

It’s easy to suddenly realize that you have no idea what’s going on with your spouse or child.

When you make it a point to eat dinner together every night, you make time to connect with your family.

You’ll learn how to work as one even with busy lifestyles.

4. Have fun together. It’s important to schedule time to have fun together as a family, even if these times can’t be as often as you’d like.

Schedule family nights in advance and allow each family member a chance to pick that evening’s activity.

5. Show unconditional love. Be sure to practice the art of unconditional love with your family.

This leads to secure attachments and will ultimately keep everyone in your family happy and stress-free.

Children and parents alike need to know that, when they make mistakes, they have a loving family that will back them up and forgive them.

6. Give support. Go out of your way for your family members.

It might not be an ideal Friday night to go to your daughter’s art show, but just think of how they’ll feel when they see that they have your love and support.

Actively express your support by really being there for your family – no matter what.

Just thinking about how much you love them is not enough!

7. Family rules. Having a set of family rules will help with organization and allow everyone to know what’s expected of them.

Schedule a family meeting to establish the house rules.

Make sure everyone has a chance to participate and share his or her concerns.

You’ll likely find a compromise that allows everyone to be happy.

A happy and stress free home is one built on love.

Don’t be too hard on yourself and others, and you’ll have the basis for creating an excellent home life.

What are the major causes of stress in your family?

What is your favorite bonding time with the family to reduce stress?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 22, 2019March 27, 2018

Nine Ways to Ignite the Passion in Your Relationships

After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’re likely to encounter a time when the passion dies down.

However, it’s not something you should completely live without either.

Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable.

But, by breaking out of your comfort zone every so often, you’ll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.

It’s important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together with your partner.

Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in finding ways to bring them out again.

Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationships:

1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy?

Make these efforts again!

It’ll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.

It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little “above and beyond” treatment!

2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your partner did something for you, and it’s important to let your partner know of your gratitude, too.

You can do this through better communication and positive actions.

Many times a simple, “Thank you for…” statement will let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

3. Be considerate. Sometimes your partner is the only one who will allow you to be blunt and abrupt.

It’s important to vent, but remember to act considerate around your partner as much as you can.

4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort to have alone time together.

It’s still important to make dates with each other and do things you’ve never done before.

5. Show affection. There are certainly ways to show your affection for your partner beyond bedroom activities.

Show your love for each other with gentle touches and hugs.

Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.

6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure.

You and your partner may even find different things adventurous.

Do some of these activities together.

Engaging in exhilarating activities can certainly ignite the passion.

7. Enjoy your own alone time. On the other side of the coin, it’s a good idea to spend time away from your partner as well.

Everyone needs space at times.

Also, time apart can build up the anticipation for some of the things you may have planned with your partner.

8. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future plans.

Things may not always go according to plan, but it’s good to talk about your dreams and goals.

While it’s fun to discuss what things were like at the beginning of your relationship, it’s also enjoyable to discuss where you think things are going.

9. Surprise! Surprise your partner with a gift.

It doesn’t have to be something expensive; in fact, you could even make it yourself.

Just explore some thoughtful ideas that will let your partner know that you care about them.

You’ll find passion in your relationship as long as you make an effort to break up the monotony.

Communicate well, spend time together, and explore new activities together.

When you do, you’ll discover the keys to a successful passionate relationship.

How passionate is your relationship right now?

What activities can bring passion back into your relationship?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 20, 2019March 27, 2018

10 Foods That Fight Stress

It’s easy to forget the importance of everything we put into our bodies.

While you can’t always eat a completely balanced diet, you can reduce your stress levels simply by choosing stress-fighting foods.

Since everyone is different, some stress-relieving foods might work for you while others may not.

Your best bet will be to try them all and then incorporate the ones that work for you into your regular diet.

Here are some foods that can help alleviate your stress:

1. Green Leafy Vegetables. Leafy greens contain a lot of magnesium.

Magnesium is an important mineral that has the power to relax muscles.

2. Fish Oil. Fish oil contains essential fatty acids that help with serotonin uptake in the brain.

Serotonin makes you feel good mentally and enables your brain to better cope with stress.

You can get your fish oil from certain kinds of fish, such as salmon, or from supplements.

3. Milk. There is a reason that milk is sometimes referred to as a “wind down” food.

The proteins in milk can help reduce anxiety while the calcium is another mineral that can help with muscle relaxation.

4. Chocolate. A small piece of dark chocolate each day can actually provide you with many health benefits.

Chocolate has a stimulating effect.

The caffeine also helps to increase serotonin.

It’s okay to indulge in chocolate in small amounts!

5. Red Wine. Many experts believe that a glass of red wine each day provides health benefits.

The only drawback is that it’s easy to overdo it when drinking alcoholic beverages.

Wine is packed with beneficial antioxidants and can temporarily lower blood pressure and help you relax.

6. Oatmeal. Oatmeal and other carbohydrates also help increase serotonin levels in the brain.

In fact, your brain needs carbohydrates in order to function normally.

This is why it’s essential to include good carbohydrates like oatmeal in your regular diet.

7. Lean Meats. Lean meats can help you combat stress by providing a good source of protein.

Turkey, eggs, chicken and fish are all good choices because they contain necessary amino acids for healthy brain function.

Remember not to eat fatty meats because the fat can interfere with proper digestion of the amino acids.

8. Coffee. Yes, caffeine is a stimulant and there is also a risk of developing an unhealthy habit.

However, moderation is the key.

Coffee can help stimulate the brain into working with more energy and efficiency, helping you feel more motivated and less stressed.

9. Nuts. Nuts help you maintain your proper blood sugar.

They also contain plenty of the vitamin B complex, which combats fatigue.

10. Spinach. Spinach is one of the world’s super foods. It contains many vitamins, antioxidants and omega 3’s.

This means it would be hard to eat spinach and not feel good!

Vitamins & Supplements

Of course, it’s always best to get your nutrients from the natural source.

If this isn’t possible, or if you can’t stomach a certain food, it’s best to look for vitamin supplements so you can still derive some benefits from it.

Vitamin supplements help your body get the nutrients it might be missing.

Once you start consuming these necessary nutrients, you’ll be on your way to feeling healthier and stress-free.

How often do you do stress eating?

Which of these foods will work best for you? Why?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 19, 2019March 27, 2018

10 Natural Ways to Reduce Anxiety

Anxiety can take over your life without you really knowing it.

It’s important to stay in touch with your inner self to maintain balance and notice when there might be a problem.

If your anxiety is severe or causes you to panic, be sure to see a health professional.

However, for day-to-day anxiety, there are natural ways you can reduce anxiety by yourself.

Here are some herbs, tips, and techniques you can use to alleviate your anxiety:

1. Passionflower. Passionflower is a popular herb that has been known to help reduce anxiety.

For many, passionflower is as effective as some prescription drugs.

It also helps with insomnia since anxiety and insomnia often go hand in hand.

2. Self-Hypnosis. Hypnosis can be a great way to relax and get in touch with your subconscious.

Self-hypnosis enables you to perform techniques on yourself instead of requiring someone else’s assistance.

3. Proper Nutrition. Sometimes you may forget about the intense connection between how you feel and what you put into your body.

Simply paying attention to getting a natural, well-balanced diet can help you reduce anxiety.

If eating right is difficult for you, be sure to take a multivitamin and avoid chemicals, processed foods, and caffeine when possible.

4. Time Management. A hectic schedule can cause anxiety.

Perhaps it’s time to drop some activities or manage your time in a more efficient fashion.

Remember to schedule time for yourself to focus on activities that relax you.

5. St. John’s Wort. St. John’s Wort has been used as a supplement for centuries.

It’s a natural herb that can help with both depression and anxiety. It’s best used for mild to moderate cases.

6. Acupuncture. Acupuncture is an ancient art that can reduce your anxiety by enabling you to feel calm and relaxed.

It involves the use of thin needles that are used to relax your muscles.

7. Worry Time. If you feel that all you do is worry, it’s time to pick a worry time.

Choose a period of the day – maybe 5 to 6 PM – where you allow yourself to worry as much as you want.

Worrying is simply not allowed or tolerated during the rest of the day.

Every time you feel worries arise during other times of the day, tell yourself that the worries have to wait for your worry time.

You’ll soon find that you won’t really worry all that much during your worry time!

8. Exercise. Studies have shown that regular exercise can reduce anxiety.

Exercise produces serotonin (the “feel good” hormone), relieves stress, increases oxygen levels throughout the body, and relaxes your muscles.

9. Meditation. Pick a time each day when you can meditate.

Find a quiet, relaxing place and focus on your breathing while you relax.

Next, immerse yourself in visualizing that you are living the life you desire.

Meditation can relax, inspire, and motivate you.

10. Valerian Root. This is another natural anxiety herb.

It’s an excellent choice if you also have trouble sleeping.

Valerian root can be taken as a tea or a capsule and should be taken approximately two hours before you go to bed.

Whether you choose a natural herb, activity, or life change to reduce your anxiety, you’re making a good decision when you opt to go with a natural solution to your problem.

How do you feel about your anxiety level?

How are you working on reducing your anxiety level?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 17, 2019March 27, 2018

Action Strategies to Help You Stop Overreacting

We can often overreact to situations without even knowing it.

How does this happen?

Well, we allow our emotions to take over.

Once you gain control over your emotions you’ll be able to choose better reactions, which leads to better solutions.

It’s important to remember that no one is perfect.

Everyone overreacts from time to time.

It’s when your overreactions become the norm that you should seek a better way.

Consider the following action strategies to help you stop overreacting:

1. The art of not reacting. In order to stop overreacting, you can try using the art of not reacting.

This means that when you’re presented with a certain situation, your goal will be to not react at all.

Instead, you’ll take the time to think about the situation and then formulate your action.

2. Let out your emotions. Let yourself feel your emotions as they come to you and find positive ways to express them.

When you let your emotions build up, they become stronger inside of you.

It’s difficult to stop yourself from overreacting when you’re full of pent up emotion.

3. Take a time out. If you tend to overreact with anger, it’s vital to allow yourself some cool down time.

If you feel emotions building inside you, instead of bursting out, go somewhere where you know you can be alone.

Cooling down will help you to react with a clear head.

4. Write it down. Instead of reacting to a situation at all, go write it down.

Writing it down is another way of giving yourself time to think over the situation.

Later on, once you read what you wrote, you may be able to see whether your reaction was an overreaction or not.

5. Practice relaxation techniques. When you adopt relaxation techniques, you’ll find that you’re automatically more in control of your emotions.

Try deep breathing or attend a yoga or meditation class.

Relaxation will stop your stress and you’ll be less likely to lash out with any negative emotion.

6. Avoid judging. Make it a point to stop judging yourself and others.

Judgments can give you strong opinions that may be unwarranted, which can lead you to overreactions.

In the same vein, when you judge yourself for overreacting, you aren’t allowing yourself to make mistakes, which is a self-defeating attitude.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

If you find that you’re overreacting to all of life’s situations, it’s time to start with the small things.

Ask yourself why you’re reacting to small situations with such negative passion.

There could be an underlying issue you need to deal with first.

Are you overly stressed?

Is your mind focused on something else?

Answer these questions and solve these problems first.

Just take it one thing at a time.

Change For The Better

Once you’ve discovered a method that works well for you, incorporate that change into your life permanently.

It’s important to expect that you will make mistakes along the way – but that’s okay!

You may still overreact from time to time, but we are only human and it happens.

Don’t let mistakes discourage you from jumping right back into the methods that work for you.

If you’re having trouble changing, remember to take small steps.

It’s quite difficult to become a different person overnight.

Try to bring an overall awareness to your life so you no longer feel the pull to overreact.

Soon enough, you’ll regain control over your emotions!

How can overthinking lead to overreacting?

What can you do to control your emotions better?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 2, 2019March 27, 2018

How to Wean Yourself from Being a Workaholic

If you find that you spend too much of your time working, your life will soon be much less satisfying than it once was.

It’s easy to get caught up in your work.

Sometimes you don’t even realize it until it seems too late, but it’s never too late to break out of the bad habit!

The Underlying Problem

Often times you get swept up with becoming a workaholic because of an underlying problem.

It’s true that sometimes you’re just getting too much pressure at work to get things done on time, but more often than not, you’ll find that you’re using your work to hide from other problems.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are you working too much because of financial strain?

Are you trying to avoid your home life?

Are you using work to avoid some other issue you’re facing?

If you’re overworking yourself because of financial reasons, you can only do it for so long.

Sooner or later your mental and physical health will begin to suffer.

You need to work hard with an end date in mind.

If this doesn’t work for you, perhaps it’s time to find a better paying job.

If you’re avoiding problems at home, you absolutely must concentrate on solving these problems.

They aren’t going to go away just because you’ve been escaping the situation.

The only way things will improve is if you take action to resolve what’s plaguing you.

Balance Out Your Life

Once you’ve solved any underlying problems, you’ll want to bring balance back to your life.

In order to wean yourself from your work, there are certain tips you can utilize to change your working habits.

Try some of these techniques:

1. Make time for yourself. Realize that you and your health are ultimately more important than your work.

Schedule time for yourself and treat that time as more important than any of your other deadlines.

2. Unwind at the end of the day. Decide on a firm bedtime and unwind before going to bed.

Decide when you’re going to sleep and, approximately 30 minutes beforehand, engage in a relaxing activity that has nothing to do with your work.

3. Exercise. Incorporate a moderate exercise routine into your schedule a few times each week.

Exercise will help you relax and release some of your stress from work.

It’s great for both your physical and mental health and is one more good way to wean yourself from overworking.

4. Take days off. You need days off from your work from time to time.

It’s just a fact.

If you have a traditional job where you have weekends free, you must spend them away from work.

On your days off, avoid even thinking or talking about work. Let your mind be free!

Start Slow

Remember that these changes don’t have to happen all at once, but you can start incorporating them into your life one at a time.

Your life simply can’t be all about work.

Remember to spend time doing activities that you enjoy besides work.

Take some time today to implement just one or two of these strategies and you’ll soon realize that there is life outside of work!

How important is personal time for you?

What activities do you enjoy doing outside of work?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 1, 2019March 27, 2018

How to Write Your Own Affirmations

Affirmations are everywhere, and they have the strong ability to lift your spirits to get through hard times.

This is because we’re all highly suggestible, even if we think we’re not!

Affirmations help us to keep a positive attitude about life.

It’s only natural that we’ll get more out of these positive sayings if we formulate them ourselves.

Writing our own affirmations makes them personal to us, which can then help us to get through our own individual situations.

When you start writing your own affirmations, keep these tips in mind:

1. Make them personal.

When you write affirmations, it’s important to remember to use “I” in them. They are personal to you after all.

Example: “I am having an exceptional day today!”

2. Use the present tense.

Affirmations are built in order to change our feelings now, which is why you want to stay positive and strong in this moment.

When you use the past tense, you get nostalgic.

When you use the future tense, you get hopeful.

The present tense helps you feel the difference right now.

Example: “I am feeling relaxed.”

3. Be down to earth. This just means to use your own style and try not to make your affirmations too formal or wishy-washy.

You want to capture your own voice.

Bad Example: “Presently I feel the urge to enjoy my existence.”

Good Example: “I enjoy my life.”

4. Be short. Affirmations are meant to be short, simple and sweet.

Stay on target and make your affirmation a one-liner. If it’s too wordy, try breaking it up into a few affirmations.

The trick is to stick with one simple idea at a time.

Example: “I am in perfect health.”

5. Make it positive. Affirmations are positive statements, so avoid negative words like “not.”

You’re using affirmations to make a life improvement and positive statements motivate you to make this improvement.

Example: “I am at peace with my mind.”

6. Make it believable. You don’t want your affirmation to sound like something out of this world.

If it’s not believable, you won’t take it seriously and your subconscious will just dismiss it.

Example: “I am choosing to be happy today.”

Believe in the Power of Affirmations

When you say your affirmations, believe them to be true.

Affirmations are truly powerful sets of words as long as you believe what you’re telling yourself.

Affirmations alone have been known to help people cure addictions.

Women even use them during childbirth to help them stay calm and collected during natural delivery.

First, set your eyes on your goal and then write your affirmations to get yourself there.

Write Them Down

Practice always makes perfect.

Write down the affirmations you’re feeling.

Then go over the list above and make sure that your affirmations follow the rules.

Once they do, start using your affirmations and feel the difference.

Say your affirmations to yourself daily.

Take deep breaths and keep your eyes on your goal.

Also if need be, tweak your affirmations.

These positive sayings aren’t written in stone, so as you change, your affirmations can change, too.

It’s best to keep your affirmations in a place where you can see them.

You can simply keep a list in your pocket or you can post them around the house.

Paste them on the bathroom mirror, on your computer, or wherever you know you’ll see them each day.

Affirmations can make all the difference in reaching your goals.

Give them a try and enjoy the benefits these positive statements can make in your life.

How has your life changed because of positive affirmations?

How can you continue to spread happiness in your life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 29, 2019March 27, 2018

Is Negativity Holding You Back?

Negativity always finds a way to creep up in your life from time to time.

It’s when negativity builds up too much or shows up too often that you have an obstacle to overcome.

A negative attitude can hold you back from truly living your life.

However, you don’t need to feel stuck because you can bring positive thoughts back into your life!

How Negativity Can Hold You Back

Negativity can hold you back in a number of ways.

Have you heard the saying: “If you think you can’t, you’re right”?

It’s true!

Negative thoughts like this really do sabotage your efforts.

The good news is that you can gain control over how you think.

When you’re expressing complaints and negativity all the time, it not only affects you, but it also affects the people around you.

Negativity, itself, can be the reason why you create roadblocks that don’t really exist!

So it’s time to choose the positive (and, yes, it is a choice!).

Manifesting A Positive Attitude

When you adopt a positive attitude, you open yourself up to the wonderful world of possibilities.

When positive energy is in the air, you’ll be able to transform your negative feelings and maybe even bring others out of their negativity clouds.

Believe it or not, positive thinking is very powerful.

It’s the driving force that steers your life into the direction of your dreams.

Remember, your thoughts affect how you feel, and how you feel affects what you do, so if you can change your thoughts, you can change your outcome.

How To Develop A Positive Attitude

How can you change your attitude? It’s easier than you think.

Follow these tips to develop a positive attitude:

1. Visualize. When the negative thoughts come crawling into your mind, transform them with positive images.

Visualize something that you find pleasing, peaceful, or exciting.

Remember what your ultimate goals are and imagine what it feels like to achieve them.

2. Write it down. Keeping a journal has many positive effects.

It helps you vent your frustrations, organize your life, and reflect on your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Instead of focusing on the bad, use your journal to chronicle the things that have gone well in your life lately.

3. Relax. Negative feelings are bound to arise when you’re in a stressful state.

It’s important to take time out of each day for yourself.

This means that you need to adopt a relaxation method that works for you.

Perhaps you can take a bath, go to church, attend a yoga class, or meditate. When you’re relaxed, a peaceful and positive mindset will likely overtake you.

4. Read and write affirmations. Grab a book with positive affirmations in it, or better yet, write your own.

Affirmations are a powerful way to bring positive thoughts into your present state of well being.

Affirmations are short statements in the present tense that remind you of positive attributes and goals in your life.

Here’s an example: “I am strong and competent.”

5. Live for the moment. Live your life for the moment and let go of everything else going on in your life.

Negative feelings can easily overwhelm you if you’re consumed by past failures or the fear of the future.

When you concentrate on the present, your life becomes more peaceful and positive.

In the end, go easy on yourself. You don’t need to be your own worst critic,

instead, try being your biggest advocate!

Just concentrate on your well being and you will develop a more positive attitude.

What fears do you have?

What negative emotions are you holding on to?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 9, 2019March 27, 2018

How Optimism Can Help You Overcome Challenges and Reach Your Goals

All actions start as mere thoughts.

When you set out to reach your goals, negative thinking pretty much ends your journey right there.

You end up losing your drive, which you need in order to get anything done.

Thinking optimistically can be the difference between easily reaching success and falling short.

But how can you start thinking optimistically?

There are certain actions you can take that will help you shift your core beliefs.

Try these steps in order to set yourself up for success with optimism:

1. Expect the best. You should know your desired outcome for your ultimate goals and believe that the best case scenario can prevail.

You may tend to drift into the “what if” thoughts from time to time, but you also have the power to fight them.

If you catch yourself thinking this way, immediately shift your focus onto something positive.

2. Take immediate action. Reaching your ultimate goals can be intimidating.

There might be many things holding you back, including the fear of failure.

But when you take immediate action, you leave no time for pessimistic thoughts to arise.

You’ll plough forward in a positive direction.

3. Seek the silver lining. No doubt there will be situations that present challenges to you.

You must believe that everything happens for a reason and that there’s a silver lining somewhere in this challenge.

Do your best to learn from the situation and then actively seek the best direction forward.

4. Write down your thoughts. You can certainly benefit from a brain dump every now and then.

Write down your thoughts, including your fears, in order to vent.

Take note of your positive thoughts as well.

By writing everything down, you’ll gain clarity about your goals.

Worrying About Challenges

Don’t waste your time worrying about the challenges at hand or ahead.

Once you realize that worrying serves no purpose, you’ll be better able to let them go.

Chances are things will work out for the best.

You need to believe this in order to achieve an optimistic attitude.

Realism will tell you that there’s the possibility of failure.

While that may be true, you shouldn’t focus on it.

Worrying about failure will not make it any easier to endure if it happens, and it can even cause you to attract that failure to you!

Worrying only hurts you in the present moment and keeps you from taking the positive action that can bring your goals to fruition.

Challenges Are Normal

When you realize that challenges are normal, they may be a tad easier to deal with.

The fact is you’re faced with challenges of varying degrees everyday.

You already know that life throws challenges your way, but you must believe that you can overcome these challenges!

Then, you’ll be able to conquer every obstacle with an optimistic attitude.

Discover What You Can Learn

There’s a lesson to be learned in each challenge.

Realizing the lessons you’re presented with will allow you to grow as a person and learn from both your successes and failures.

As you learn, you build confidence and confidence brings optimism.

Evaluate the outcome of a few different challenges your life has presented you.

When you had an optimistic attitude, how did things turn out?

When you had a pessimistic attitude, how did things turn out?

Oftentimes your attitude alone can make a significant difference.

And remember, your attitude is your choice!

How have you taken the time to look at your own expectations?

How can you focus on living your life in the moment?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 8, 2019March 27, 2018

How to Avoid Relationships that Sap Your Soul

It’s easy to get drawn into a negative relationship.

It may have started out seemingly perfect, but things seemed to change overnight.

It may be time to decide whether or not the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices.

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there.

However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid.

It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship.

Try taking these actions to avoid negative relationships:

1. Avoid falling back on the wrong person.

If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to fall back on someone that’s not right for you.

Deep down you know that this person is not “the one” and yet you come crawling back anyway trying to convince yourself that maybe the person can change.

Chances are, they won’t.

2. Spend time getting to know your partner.

Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship.

Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the beginning of the relationship.

This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly.

3. Learn your partner’s history.

Are there disturbing events in his or her past?

It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction.

If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.

4. Avoid manipulative people.

You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship.

If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in.

Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.

5. Make a checklist.

Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner.

Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike.

This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you.

Here’s a tip: avoid writing down superficial characteristics such as looks.

First and foremost, you must be attracted to his or her personality because the superficial things can and will change as you age.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature.

The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have any impact on your hope for the future.

There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice!

Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

How much do you love yourself?

How do you feel about the relationship you have now?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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